Do I *really* need another contact person for assessment?

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Hi-some folks have gently suggested that I may benefit (even from self knowledge) by moving forward from my clinically indicated level 1 "diagnosis" to a formal medical one. If I did, it would be telehealth only and probably Prosper Health.

But they say they require input from someone who knew me between the ages of 3-5 and potentially another contact, too.

I'm almost 60 years old. My parents have dementia. I have one sibling who's close to my age but he is uninvolved and would be the last person I'd want involved in this. His involvement would be harmful, not helpful.

I've masked well. I have "friends" but I don't have long time super close buddies or anyone close enough who'd I dream of asking to be involved in this.

Oh, and I do not have the name of the provider who told me that I have autism. It was several years ago at a place that had revolving psychologists/psychiatrists, and they are no longer in business. Tbh, I can't even remember the name of that place! I got my validation and that's all I cared about. So they can't provide any feedback or info for the assessment.

But I've struggled my whole life, and a licensed, qualified provider finally told me that I could save myself money and time because he said I clearly have level 1 autism. At this point, that knowledge is enough for me.

But if I did decide to move forward with something more formal, do I really, truly need another person who doesn't know me well (because no one does, although I'm not lonely!) involved in my very private, personal medical diagnosis journey?

Will it make diagnosis harder if I don't provide another name--or will they even take me on?

I also wonder if it will it be a waste if I don't have that other person because they will claim that they can't get enough info and I've spent all that money only to be told that.

However, I can provide plenty of info that would make it clear to them. I have a long history of obvious symptoms, and I was told that already...and also I was told kindly that it's clear to a trained "observer," even with my masking efforts.

Anyone have any insight?

Thank you for reading

I suggest you explain the problems to them and offer a selection of folk who have known you the longest (and might cooperate).

Anything in writing from way back from a third-party when might also be of interest...even if the third-party is now deceased.

Note: I'm GUESSING.

I don't think a fully accurate assessment can be made without someone present who knew you as a toddler. You won't have had the self awareness at that age to reliably remember how you behaved. You're already 56 and made it this far without a label so maybe it doesn't matter that much anyway beyond sating curiosity.

I have found a place that will assess without a second person. Prosper will not.

I have many stories of issues, past and present, that I can articulate clearly to help them get a very clear picture. And I was already told after a number of visits with a clinician that he feels certain of autism level 1 for me, which he said he was certain that a formal assessment would also find. And yes, it is possible with self reporting for experienced clinicians to assess.

I "made it this far" in great pain. I had to leave full time employment, and even part time employment, because I cannot function in the regular world (I set myself up in a self-employment niche and although I make little money, I have a good reputation for what I do). I consider myself successful in that even though I'm lower income, I do good things in my community through my art. I get invited to perform for events, which I worked hard to be able to do despite my issues. I managed 20 years ago to get a loan for a house, which would not be possible now. I consider myself successful tbh because I'm still alive and I strive to do good things, which makes me happy.

My life is very, very difficult. But I'm a survivor, and that's success to me.

So why might I want an assessment someday?

It was pointed out in another thread that as I get older, I may want or need help. I'm a tough survivor, but I'm getting tired. I've masked for so long and it's working less and less. I don't anticipate needing disability benefits or anything like that. But who knows. My father is undiagnosed formally but has been told by all of his providers that he needs to be assessed because he would qualify for disability because they know he has autism. He has public meltdowns with ER visits where he gets nonverbal and exhibits repetitive motions for hours. He is incapable of 2-way conversation and always has been. He'd easily be identified as having level 2 autism. But he refuses help. I don't want to be like him in refusing help should I need it.

It's also tough to get people to take you seriously without a formal diagnosis. I've already tried to tell a couple friends and they're like "but you can talk, so you aren't autistic!" Or "you? But you're smart!" Ugh.

I told someone who I thought would be supportive and she said if I don't have "papers," then I'm not autistic.

There are no people, at all--literally-- who know me well enough now and no one from childhood who can participate in an assessment.

It's a horrible feeling to finally be facing it after all these years and have people invalidate it. I want to feel proud of who I am and finally grow into myself without shame like the shame and embarrassment I've carried for so long (not that I plan to announce it publicly) but with people thinking that without the formal diagnosis, I'm making it up...even with a shrink's "clinically identified autism" conclusion...is stressful and quite frankly, kinda devastating.

I just want to finally have an official declaration after all these decades of hardships because of it.

If you are doing a reasonably good job of getting along in life then, even with a formal diagnosis, you might sometimes have trouble convincing some people that you are on the Autism Spectrum.

Even if some people you interact with believe that you are Autistic you might have trouble getting some of them to adjust how they interact with you to accommodate your Autism.

Be patient and persistent and good luck!