Have you ever thought of killing others?

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I've planned terror attacks including school bombings, but I had no clue how I would get the materials for them, and find out how to make time bombs. I've considered killing my mother once when I was depressed but it wasn't the awful depression with black holes; it was a different milder kind of depression. Okay, once when I was on the Celexa too. But she was making me really depressed. Of course I never did any of that. Firstly it would kind of suck living in Sao Paulo with few English-speaking people, secondly I didn't want to be on the run in Canada forever. I also just decided not to do that for other reasons.

I would never plan and plot or truly intend to kill anyone. Just not in my nature.
I do, in my angrier meltdowns hate people and wish them dead with a passion though...but only in that moment and I feel horrible later on for wishing such bad things on others.
Are you sure you are not a sociopath, Ana, lol?

I'm sure I was an accelerating sociopath for a few years from high school thru last year (when I was 18/19, the school year after grade 12 when I wasn't in school and doing nothing... that had nothing to do with my sociopathy though). I still have that need for attention... and I'll always have it! But I found that I COULD channel it into positive things.

For a moment I thought you were ..... lol

You mean fantasies right? not actually planning. As I take it as you used to fantazised about this stuff, I hope. lol

I used to fantazised about getting even to kids and young ones who used to bully me at school, and sometimes it felt good with just the thought of it.

I've had fantasies of entering the Swedish parliament heavily armed and cleaning up the place. No actual planning though, would require at least a well-organized militia to achieve anything anyway.

Doesn't everybody?

Well, I don't anymore. But I used to, and quite a lot. Bombings, like you say. Not the details of the planning that would go into it so much as the beautiful sight of it all falling to pieces.

Funny how someone as harmless as myself could be plagued by such thoughts.

Also, if I ever meet my attacker again and he tries to hurt me, I am prepared to tear him into pieces with my bare hands if need be. If I had a gun in my hands at the moment I would not hesitate to use it.

Have a nice day.

I used to have thoughts about going on a driving rampage running over as many people as I can. I still get that feeling when somebody is walking down the side of the road.

Too much GTA: Vice City I suppose.

However I'm a really careful driver, or so I thought..

theres a similar thread in the members only section and as i failed to really express in that thinking about killing people can help you keep control .................................. i think i might copy that post cus im just that kind of person


when someone is really pissing me off it really helps calm me down a bit ........... although i find the hideous things its within my power to do amusing and sooting in themselves, i guess its more of a feeling of control thing though, cus the world we live in and the options we see arent by any means the only ones ................. im far to lazy to follow through and actually kill someone though i just like knowing i can

have thought about it with one of the people am live with,and a girl who bullied am years ago.
with the girl am live with,she is the most disgusting,sadistic,useless,manipulative human am have ever met,she is torture to anyone but those who are hard of hearing or smell,have knocked her out in a MD before when she started screaming over and over to get am into meltdown so she could watch it,at that point,after that,am wanted her dead,but would not do it because that is wrong.
am more likely to wish that someone else kills her,or someone just remove her voice box or sow her mouth up or something.

am used to want to stab the other girl for years,she put am through years of bullying and attempted suicide with her gang,the thought of stabbing her kept coming into mind,would never have been able to do it but wanted this revenge in thoughts.

meh not really.

I really did plan... I tore pages out of the phone book in Montreal and started circling the insitutions-- churches, schools, hospitals, etc. that I wanted to blow up-- aka all of them! If it took years it took years. I planned to go on the net from a remote location and look up how to make time bombs so I could put them in the places months, maybe years before and time them to go off at the same time.

I moved away from home because I fantasized about burning one of my siblings alive (I'd just been physically attacked and no one had done anything about it- and I had no chance of winning that fight) and it didn't emotionally bother me.

I decided I had to do whatever it took not to be that person.

It's worked out pretty well.

I'm kind of nervous to post this but last school year after not getting any of the classes I wanted at registration for this semester I planned in my head an attack on this school. I won't go into details but I wasn't seriously going to do it, I was just furious at the time. The scary thing was it was very well planned, and had I acted on it, it would have made Cho's VT rampage seem small.

Sometimes whenever I'm exploring around in a building I think of scenarios that could be used for a terrorist attack. Maybe I should get a career in national security to help defend from terrorist threats, I once met somebody whose job it was to plan terrorist attacks so that they could implement deterrents.

Yes I have thought about shooting people but thinking and doing are two very different things I am sure a lot of people have thought about it.

I've fantasized about it with people with who have bullied and hurt me in the past.

Catster, why did you bump this? It's alright tho.