Males were my bullies

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After reading through other's topics about women aspies not getting along with NT women I was struck by my opposite experience. Maybe this is due in part to my selective mutism as a child. The NT males were terrible to me to the point of physical violence. They were also much better at the verbal insults than the girls. I remember thinking as a girl that I was glad that I wasnt a boy because they are so cruel to their own.

It didn't get much better in my teenage years. I dont think NT males and me would have too much in common. I remember this one incident I was driving in a car with this guy and he told me a story about his mom dying of cancer out of the blue. I said "Oh really?" are something to that point. I thought I was being emphatetic forgetting my inflection issues. This male went totally apeshit on me. He started screaming at the top of his lungs about how I was disrespecting his mother. This led me of course to freak out and a screaming match ensued. I am a little more mature nowdays but my communication with males is still shaky at best especially the wannabe tough guys.

In short it took me a long time not to hate men! I dont like people who think they are superior to me and sadly a lot of men in American society do think they are superior to women. One of my favorite TV dramas is Nip/Tuck because it helps me understand why men have such distorted perceptions of women.

It goes to show we all have it in us to hate, we shouldn't judge anyone as a group even based on life experience. It's hard though, isn't it? I'm sorry you've had such a tough time with males. I hope the good/understanding ones here (I notice there are quite a lot of them) will help turn your feelings around.

Been bullied by both genders.

I was also bullied by boys more often. I hated them so much, there was no way i could possibly have a crush on any males until 7th grade. Girls on the other hand (except the cliquey, gossip b*****s), were generally much easier to get along with and were much more accepting of my differences.

"Oh really?" when stated as a question is a sarcastic remark, and therefore offensive to someone who is talking about an experience that is emotionally meaningful to them.
It's really no wonder he freaked out.

.[/quote]

I completely disagree. It could also be interpreted as a statement of astonishment. Such as OH really? versus Oh REALLY? Just empathizing one word over the other completely changes the phrase. I obviously meant it in the former and not the latter but I wasn't conciously thinking about how it came accross because normal people don't throw hissy fits over something so idiotic. Clearly this man had some rage issues and was use to taking them out on women. Plus I never wanted this guy to share his personal tragedies with me, what did he take me for Dr. Phil?

I know I come off as sarcastic to a lot of people without meaning too but if Ellen has taught me anything in this lifetime is that showing emotion under any circumstances is not OK. I resent this double standard in society where men can act like total a$$holes but they are not being emotional whereas women who tend to internalize thier emotions and who perhaps will show tears of frustration versus shouts of anger are considered too emotional and an embarrassment to mankind. In short I think this guy like a lot of people I have met over my lifetime decided when he first met me that he didn't like me and chose an opportunity to personally attack me to justify his not liking me in the first place.

Feel ya. I was bullied by both genders, but mostly by boys.

Maybe what you call bullying is/was just blunt flirting/attention call that only female NTs understand.

Maybe in some cases, but not all. Unwanted flirting is annoying, but bullying can be really threatening.

Most of the bullying came from boys when I was a kid, but now that I'm an adult I have far more problems with women than with men.

I was only bullied by the girls. The males didn't say anything even when there was plenty of reason to (didn't have parents who cared enough to say "Trees take a bath and brush your hair).

I'm guessing maybe the difference is that you come off as being girly. I've been told on several different occasions by guys that i'm not a girl and it was never once meant as an insult. In fact the one time the boy said to indicate why he didn't want me thrown out of the class when he wanted the only other girl in the room kicked out.

This has given me issues to. For example I cannot fully trust females because I was practically an adult before I ran into any kind ones. Added to that i have a couple issues it would be nice to talk to a psychologist about but the only two available to me are female and I'm definately not comfortable showing vulnerability in front of a female.

He was talking about his own mother dying, unexpectedly at that. and you replied in a manner that the majority of the population would interpet as sarcastic. His reaction is the most common reaction you could have expected to encounter from anyone in such a situation.

Maybe what you call bullying is/was just blunt flirting/attention call that only female NTs understand.[/quote]

That could be very true in some cases. I have a terrible time remembering faces let alone interpreting facial expressions especially when I am nervous. I always have to go with my "sixth" sense on whether or not people like me or not. And at times that sense can be dead wrong. I also never understood the whole courting ritual that some men use on women in which they seem to "put them down" or become increasingly arrogant around them. Must be how the human male has adapted to show his feathers.

Hmm could be. Than again I hit puberty quite early and as a child I always looked a couple years older than my peers. However in my adult years, I definitely feel vulnerable in my feminity. At times I feel like a girl child. I always feel uncomfortable with male interviewers because of this. I think they make negative judgments about me because of this and consider me an inferior female and therefore an inferior worker. Female interviewers arn't that much better but at least they are likely not to sit staring at me for minutes on end and asking me idiotic questions like why I don't drive.



I always felt my otherness around both genders. I have gotten many different reactions from men concerning this. At time I feel some males feel they are able to speak more candidly to me, whereas others just act out in blind hostility towards me. It is kind of strange how most males in my life seem to split in either of those two directions.



Adults tend to get kinder as they age. I have an older highly critical sister so I think it is just easier for me to ignore bad female behavior. I kind of go to the other extreme where if a woman isn't screaming at me or throwing negative insults at me I think she is alright. I often don't tend to notice underhand female behavior until long after it happened. The females workers around me got me fired from a job I just started and I didn't even realize it until the supervisor fired me. Although I am at quandry who to be really angry at, the female workers or the male boss. Were the female workers being honest in their assessment of be as a worker or was the male boss just looking for any small exucse to get rid of me?

When I was in school I used to think about some boy and girl yelling at each other: "wow, what he said was really mean", "geez, she is so hysterical" or "s**t, someone is going to get hurt now" and then, guess what, five minutes later they are laughing again or gossiping about a person that is not around. I am always at doubt when it comes to bullying between different sexes - albeit things are slightly different now as an adult.

I was bullied by EVERYONE (minus about 6) in my year group when I was 15. I had not been diagnosed with the Aspergers and Tourette syndrome at that point. The ones who caused me the most physical and emotional damage were all boys. I regularly got slapped on the head, had things pelted at me and kicked. It is no wonder I am so messed up now...