Blackmantis wrote:
Hey guys. I have an odd problem.
Ever had one of those weeks where nothing seems to go right? It's just been one of those for me. Master yelled at me for taking a biscuit, then there was a huge fight, screaming, et cetera, and now he's leaving, being evicted on Friday (But remains to stay inside the house, regardless of the police protection order) and such. We've had the police here three times, I've been to court to file an order, I've sat and listened to roaring go on outside my door, along with ignored replies, and some kinds of words that hurt (Anyone ever get that feeling where, when someone says even something simple like "oi, be quiet for a minute" to you, it just burns you inside?
Master called me a fat adult with ret*d Aspergers (Yeah, like I can help the fact I was BORN with it...) who is never going to amount to anything, and it kinda hurt, because I have huge dreams for my future, to get married, and kick my game business into full-gear.
However, I cannot describe how I feel, I'm not sad nor depressed... just lost. I admit, I love playing my usual games, such as Call of Duty 2, and Half-Life 2, yet for the past day and a half, I haven't felt like doing anything. I lost my lifelong interest/obsession with guns and computers entirely, and my want to see my fiance, although before I would absolutely do anything necessary to fly over and see her whilst she's completing courses overseas. Usually, if not on the computer, I'd play with some of my replica guns for a bit or do some animating, yet I don't feel compelled to do it or anything at all for that matter.
Now, I don't feel like buying anything, playing games or talking to anyone. Once again however, I don't feel sad/depressed, just... ultra bored perhaps? But not bored... it's like I want a change, although going for a walk or going to work doesn't do much for me in those respects.
At the moment, I still can't describe fully how I feel, it's like nothing matters, but not in a depressed way, it's just like everything is "meh" to me. Anyone ever been through a stage like this?
Believe it or not...losing interest in once pleasurable activites is a symptom of depression. You may not feel depressed because sometimes when you get depressed you feel "numb" emotionally and don't feel anything.
Master calling you a "fat adult with ret*d aspergers" is just entirely stupid and don't listen to anyone who says anything like that.
Yes I have felt like this before...I thought that I was going to feel like that forever. Then one day I got a huge wave of emotion and I was feeling everything again.
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I = Vegan!
Animals = Friends.
20 Oct 2007, 9:11 am
