Do you go blind when scared and sad and dead?

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A few times I was being chased by the black holes, and I could barely get up to where my eyes were to see out of them (the exit). It was like something was blocking them off from me and I was trapped in my head... it was not an eye thing, it was a deeper thing, I don't know how to explain it.

I have occasional visual blackouts that last about 4 seconds, probably something to do with blood flow.

Sometimes I'll also see these spots shooting all over the place that look solid enough I'll think they're bugs at first glance, but they're more like tiny points of grey light. Can't pin down exactly what causes that, but it's a purely visual hallucination. Once heard my great-grandmother saw "bugs" when dehydrated, and given my weird metabolism that causes me to sweat buckets, I could become relatively dehydrated at any time, so maybe it's that.

I used to get so bad that when people used words like "dead" and "depression" and "it can't be fixed", I would have to restrain myself from jumping out of my seat (and the fact that I had to restrain myself, or felt I had to, made me even more depressed.)


I used to get a pain between the temple and forehead and down a little... the first time I had a severe attack of depression like that. I now feel like there's something there, that's actually blocking my peripheral vision in my left eye. Yet another thing I need to tell my shrink about!