is hurting yourself on purpose always a bad thing?

Post Reply New Topic

i frequently hurt myself by hitting myself around the head with my hand, banging my head on the wall or floor & digging my fingernails into my arms & hands & sometimes face & i was wondering whether other AS people think this is OK or not as my NT friends always try to stop me doing it as they think it is not good.

i do different things for different reasons:
if i can not remember what i am meant to be doing or if i have forgotten an answer i will hit my head but not hard, almost as if to knock things back into place
if i feel as though i have done badly on an exam, argued with (or even had negative thoughts about) someone i care about, or lost something important i will hit my head hard enough to make it hurt either with my hand, with a shoe or other suitable object close to me at the time or on the wall
if i have an MD (thankfully these are now very rare) i will hit my head on the floor, but this is more to restore an even rhythm to what is going on rather than to inflict pain on myself.
i also stim by digging my nails into my hands & arms, & i do this hard enough to cut the skin if i am scared or anxious about something

please let me know how other AS people regard this matter the NTs seem to have a problem with it!

I don't think it's the best way to deal with stress. Instead of hurting yourself to relieve stress or anxiety, try letting the feeling pass and direct your thoughts to the present. Dwelling on mistakes from the past only makes you feel worse.

Its very unwise to hit your head as it will lead to brain damage, sudden death or Altzheimers in later life.

I agree it is not best for you. Can you replace your stims? For instance instead of digging nails into skin rub your fingers aloud the hairs on your arms. When my youngest child bites his wrists I take his hands and rub them along his face to try and teach him to stim that way. I bite my fingers and hands too sometimes when focusing but not hard - I leave impressions but do not break the skin. I mostly pull my hands across my face.

As for hitting yourself on the head I think that wouldn't be so bad as long as you're not leaving bruises or knocking yourself around. I sometimes use the soft part of my palm against my forehead when I am very frustrated.

But as for walls that could be dangerous to yourself! If you feel you cannot stop I suggest training yourself to always wear a helmet when you feel the need to do it, or perhaps pad a wall with a piece of foam and only do it there. Or bang on your pillow on your bed.

I in general feel like it's best to work yourself into new stims that do not hurt your person than to continue a stim that will hurt you.

I don't think that hurting yourself in anyway on purpose is good.
Try replacing the biting, with pinching instead. As far as head banging goes, I have not found an alternative for that, but if I do I will let you know.

Hurting yourself, as "punishment" or otherwise, isn't really a healthy thing to do. I did plenty of it in the past, fractured a bone at least once that way (...damn steel door...), various other things, it didn't really help anything. It did lead to a cast, doctor's bills, some scars, other annoying things like that, so ultimately it made things worse rather than better.

Digging your nails into your skin, if you weren't breaking the skin it wouldn't be as much of a concern.

Sally, please try and fix this. Its difficult to change or eliminate stims but you can do it!

I used to have alot of the same problems, what with the flipping out and pulling at yourself to try and cope with a verry stressful situation. I used to claw at my face and rip out bits of my hair.
What helped me stop was I consciously was trying to think about stopping and it went away as I helped resolve alot of my issues and learn better stress management skills.
In college I even took classes about stress management and communication and I tried to analyze and control ME alot. Its hard but like I said its doable and I think you'll be a much better and stronger person. Just think Powerfully if that makes any sense, take charge of your situation instead of letting it jerk you around. And if its something you truly can't help, try your hardest to just let go and not worry so much. Its alot harder than it sounds but it is really rewarding and you will feel alot better in general. In general just be alot more calm and chilled out, layed back, and what have you.

And brittany, certainly you can hurt yourself in SOME ways for gain mentally or spiritually, I mean I am one of them tattooed/pierced people so I at least have to argue in favor of that lol.

Stop, Please ! !

Hurting yourself is not a solution ! !!

We all get depressed. We all get hurt. We all reach dead-ends.

BUT please, don't hurt yerself. It won't help...

Please listen to us .... We've been where you are, so trust us, OK ?????

What if hurting yourself physically is done to distract from mental pain?

If its only to distract? No I don't believe its good at all.
Its a bad copeing mechanism. I think you need to search yourself and learn to let go of whas hurting you as hard as it may be.

it is, and you probably should get help, but you shouldn't feel ashamed of yourself for it

I often will pull on my hair in really stressful situations. It helps to relieve tension. I just like a little bit of controlled pain to help me focus. Its like an intense form of stimulation in one dose. Squeezing something also does the trick.

I wouldn't do it as a stress reliever.

Tim

I don't think It's a good thing, and this is coming from someone who was a compulsive self-injurer for years. There are better, more constructive ways of dealing with stress. With some people, self-injury is about all those feel-good chemicals; endorphines, dopamine, etc. You get the same feeling from other things that aren't self-destructive. I get them from horror movies, other people get them from roller coasters. Things that aren't harmful.

For me- I think I did it because it didn't actually hurt (to do it), but I got a pretty good high afterwards. It was never about attention. I've dealt with a lot of serious infections and I've gotten septic shock because of it. Furthermore, I got tired of making excuses to people about the injuries. The last time I did it, I was working, and my whole arm was covered in bandages from attacking myself with a box cutter. Afterwards I had some gnarly scars, and kids kept innocently asking about them, asking me at point blank if I hurt myself. Funny how kids are smarter and more perceptive than adults in many ways. Anyways, the point is it just isn't worth the fleeting "good" feeling. You have to find something else.

i usually put one of my nails in between my teeth and bite hard.

Please don't hurt yourself. I've watched my son do this (he has AS) and I find it heartbreaking and very frightening.

I tell J to vent his frustrations in another way - scream, shout, punch a pillow, anything that doesn't involve self harming.

Touch wood though (I'm clinging on to my desk!! !), he hasn't done this for quite a while now so I'm hoping that things are improving for him.