do you have this kind of thing?

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I live like a virtual recluse, leaving the house only for life's essentials..
Because I live like this, far far away from the families of both myself and my wife,family members come to stay..There are always misunderstandings.

At these times my autism shines through..

I live in the present moment only, thus everything that sparks an emotion has to be written down, as once the moment has passed for all purposes it winks out of existance for me...

Here is one of those moments, I am trying to explain my difficulty to my wife's mother, all this is in my head (a pad of paper), being rehearsed...

'I will look 'bothered', 'sheepish', 'uninterested , 'anxious' If I am in company and I can't talk about what I want to talk about.
I will look like I COULD'NT DISAGREE STRONGLY ENOUGH with your opinion if I can't talk about what I want to talk about.
I do not understand why you are talking, ESPECIALLY as I want to talk about what I want to talk about.
I understand the meaning of your words, their definitions , their role within a sentence, but not why you are talking...
I can grasp the nature of a conversation, the to and fro of opinions, 'chat', I have witnessed this phenomena countless times and remember the roles to be played, but it is only a facsimile..NO part of me feels it is correct, not like the correctness of ME talking about what I want to talk about...
This interplay between my inability to formulate meaningful responses to your conversation and your expectation of a reply causes the facial contortions and apparant disinterest you witness so frequently, it does not invalidate your opinion, or reflect how I 'feel' about a particular issue.'

My mother-in-law is staying with us, I struggled to cope with not talking about what I wanted to talk about...

I am not OK about being autustic in a Family environment. I can't switch it off...

tell me you understand this,

Well... My family (immediate) knows what to expect from me, so I cant relate to ya cause your whole family sounds NT, where as mine, I doubt that is the fact about some of them.