Out of home...but out of friends...*sigh*

Post Reply New Topic

I am soon moving out of home and into assisted living. This of course, will be a good learning experience for me and a chance to gain independence whilst still being supported. Over all, I am glad I am moving out.

There is one down side, though. There is no internet access there. Not that I am a complete internet addict...but just that I only have online friends and really want to keep in contact with them. I will be very lonely there, having no one there to talk to, no one who actually "gets me". I have a feeling that I will end up depressed yet again.
Aside from that, I will miss my pets dearly. In real life, they are my only friends. They are the ones who snuggle up to me no matter what I do or say, sleep on my bed at night to keep me warm and don't judge me.

I will of course, be allowed to go home on the weekends. Sure, I can talk to people online then, and visit my pets then. It's just...not enough. I have never gone a whole day of my life without an animal in my presense [literally] and spending 5 days a week without them will be terrible. I have had a great time speaking to my online friends, they have been very kind to me...not speaking to them will make me like I was two years ago...completely friendless

I would use a library or internet cafe on the weekdays...except, there isn't one near by the place that I will be moving into.
I don't know where this thread is going...over all, now that I re-read it, I don't sound that glad to be leaving home after all. I guess...it still has to be done.

Your online friends, if they are indeed friends, will be just as happy to see you even if it's only at the weekends. And think of the welcomes you'll get from your pets!

I hope that while in assisted living, you have the opportunity to meet others with similar interests as yourself. Best of luck in your new place.

Jeeze Brittany, that was a very depressing post .

Have you really looked deep inside yourself and determined how you TRULY feel about moving to assisted living? Do you feel it will be better to remain where you are now or go to assisted living cause it sounds to me like your life may get worse then better. You will of course know what you must do and what is right. But its important to be happy in life and it sounds like you may not be and thats a really bad thing.

Maby you should seriously think about things, its never to late to change living situations.

I was initially glad to be moving out. Then, when I thought of all the consequences...there were more of them than positives.
I know how I truly feel about moving out...I honestly would prefer to stay at home for atleast one more year. I mean, i'm 16...not 30, I shouldn't be rushed to move out now. I don't have a choice in the matter, though. I have just come to accept it.
Sure, things may [and probably will] get worse...but thats a risk that I will have to take. Often, things get worse before they get better anyway...so I could be indeed making the right decision. I can't predict the future...so I am basically determining the future of my life by playing a "guessing game" with myself. Hopefully, I come out in the "winners circle".

Brittany,

I'm glad you're moving out. It will be good experience for you and you're not moving so far away that you can't get back home.

It is okay that things are different. That's how you learn.

You will make friends and you may be able to get a laptop which has wi-fi internet access. Perhaps talk to your parents? or make it a goal for work. (you're at work, not school?).

Depending on where you are, you may find that you have some nice neighbours. Particularly if you make some friends nearby you might not need the internet as much, or may be able to use theirs on occasion.

Talk to people and ask about internet cafe's. There's gotta be some around.

As far as pets are concerned, can you get a bird?

Why can't you bring them with you?

You can go to the library and use the internet... employment centers have it too.

I do have a bird at home...actually I have three.
Where I am moving to, there are no pets allowed unfortunately.

You could at least get a fish. Nobody would begrudge you that.

Why are you being forced to move out? I mean you're 16, and you're leaving alot behind... is it truly nessecary?

My mother is sick of me staying home all day. She says that I need to get into a course, get a job, or move out of home. This doesn't make any sense to me, as she was the one who wanted me to be on the invalids benefit anyway .

Well, I didn't get into a course. I can't think of what to study and can't make that decision. There are so many options that it's impossible to choose.
I haven't got a job yet. Basically, no one will employ a high-school drop out teenager with minimal qualifications, no achievements on my CV and social skills that put the interviewer "off" from hiring me. Trust me...I HAVE tried.

Do I think it is necessary? Well, no I don't. All though, moving out of home will force me to be independant, which is my mothers goal...to make me independant.

You're making me want to sneak on a plane and go over there and join you! Then we'll all show up on Syzygyish's doorstep!

You can sneak your quiet animals in, or do they all make noise that is unmistakably pet noise?

Much as I hate to say it, your mother is a bit correct in her thinking...

Independence is something that will help you considerably. It will do wonders for your self esteem.

Brittany2907,
why not ask them to get ADSL installed? if it's got a phone line,should be able to get broadband.

In the residential home am live in,am not allowed animals in here either [currently,but am working on changing that,as it's just one person whos' against the idea],and am bring one of the local cats in a lot when he's out,and go outside and find other cats.
It is horrible not living with pets full time,but it does get easier once over the just getting used to it bit.
There are other possible alternatives,like what gbollard said-fish,they are usually okay where other pets might not be,a lot are biased against the furry kind like rats,chinchillas,some might allow hamsters as they're well known as pets rather than 'pests'.
if got a garden,what about rabbits? or none at all,what about doing voluntary work at a sanctuary of favourite animal?
or if like dogs,taking neighbours dogs for walks?

yeah I can only suggest taking dogs for walks or looking after pets in their own home , advertising yourself.
I wish you all the luck in the world. I can go home, though i don't have a proper job, and didn't move out properly till I was 36- or at least 18. i will keep you in my thoughts

EDIT: I'm not moving out of home anymore.

There was a meeting on Thursday to sign the official papers to say that I will be moving out of home...and like usual, anxiety got the best of me.....I didn't sign the papers.
Good news, atleast I will still have the internet and my pets. Bad news, I proved to myself that anxiety is a problem for me.

Never mind though...thats this problem solved.

But this might be a good starting point in thinking about your future in the long-term. You were showed the door to more independence but perhaps wisely realized that you were not ready yet. However, you may find yourself facing that path towards independence again, so you may want to think about preparing youself so that next time it becomes a more agreeable choice that sits well with you.

You can prepare yourself by seeking advice from aspies who have made the transition to independent living. You can also read stuff that gives tips and advice about living independent for the first time. Also you can do some do-it-yourself research and find out if there's any alternative independent-living options that may be more suitable to your particular wants and needs.

I'm still living with my parents so I won't be able to give good advice, but I hope find you the right encouragement and advice.