First Pelvic Exam

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My daughter needs a pelvic exam. She's going to be so scared. I'm trying to find videos or something to let her see that it's not a bad thing. Any suggestions?

I know guys aren't supposed to post here, I got here off the front page.

1. First time, the ob-gyn should be a woman....even if you have a man regularly.
2. Explain what they're looking for....cancer is no joke...they talk about it on TV, you should be able to talk about it with her
3. Have the doctor explain what she is about to do, and why, before she does it. Actually, she's probably pretty experienced with kids if she's been practicing for any length of time.

The psychiatrist I work with started out as an ob-gyn, and she's a very confidence inspiring woman.....she's not young, and she practices psychiatry now, but she talks to her patients in the process of getting a history, and gets the history inbetween conversation that she's thought about carefully. She says that when she practiced, she always showed children the tools and explained what they were for, and exactly what she was doing as she did it. She also told me that 90% of her patients were terrified the first time. My wife doesn't like it either, but she's more afraid of not having it.

Finally, if you can get your daughter to think of this not as an "invasive" procedure, but as something she's doing for her health, even though that's hard to get across to a kid, you'll be way ahead.

I don't know if you're in a position to choose your doctor, but that would be my suggestion. Not to be indelecate, but a prostate exam hurts like hell, but most people tell you why they're doing it, and what they're looking for before they go in there. Still hurts.

Good luck, and sorry for intruding. Hope this helps

btdt

Thanks for your sensitive reply. I appreciate it. I guess my daughter wil never have to face "bend over and cough." That would probably be just as hard for an autistic male.

I'm just concerned about her fighting out of involutary fear. She does that for other exams when they first happen and then, after, she realizes that nobody hurt her, she isn't scared for the next exam. It's just harder because of where this exam happens,

Have you looked for a book on the subject? She can read
it and learn about what they are doing and why. It may not
be so scary for her especially when she sees that at some point
in life, all females have to go through this.

momtanic, I searched around for good material. I see that some sites sell exam videos. Maybe that would help. When I saw was young and first saw drawings and cutaways for pelvic exam or the instructions about using tampons, they looked so foriegn and hard to put into context that it's what I look like from another perspective. I don't think she'd look at the illustrations and find anything familiar about them.

I like her defensive instinct about not wanting to be invaded in that area so it's tricky to tell that that, this time, it's okay.

I found a gynecologist who doesn't use the straps. She just lets you bend your knees and put your feet on the table. This is much more comfortable. It may not work with everyone's body, but you can ask the doctor.

ALWAYS go to a female gynecologist!

Also, maybe you can hold her hand.

I cancelled the appointment. The medical staff didn't make me feel comfortable. I'll just keep looking around until I find someone who will communicate better. I wish there were a Consumers Reports about medical and dental professionals for people on the autism spectrum and a check list about what they're good at and what they're bad at.

If it's possible, try to find a gynecologist who isn't too overbearing. Personally, I don't like the in your face type of doctors that the medical field seems to spawn a lot of times. I was far more comfortable once I met the gynecologist and realized she was a quiet, kind woman. Like others, I would also advise a female gynecologist; especially at a young age, females seem more comfortable around other females.

It would help a lot if you can talk to her; let her know that letting strangers and day to day people touch her in that area is highly inappropriate, but that there are a few select professionals who have to in order to make sure she's all right. It'd be easier for you, as her mother, to assure her of the safety than anyone else, especially someone she doesn't know.

Have you considered a nurse practitioner? Just a thought.

Also, are there women's clinics in your area? Maybe you can call, and talk to the nurse, and explain your daughter's situation.

Also, while most women would like a woman doctor, the best gynecologists I've seen have been a nurse practitioner (female) and a male doc. While your daughter emotionally might prefer a female doc, try to plant the idea that a male doc can be just as capable and sympathetic. The least painful was my male gynecologist, and the quickest. He also did some of my surgery, and was very sensitive to my needs concerning acceptance and lots of knowledge.

And how old is your daughter? That can make a difference, too. Maybe a pediatrician might be a better choice.

That procedure is not my idea of fun. However, it makes me a lot less nervous knowing that my general practitioner can give the exam. I don't like the idea of traveling all across town for a procedure that is nervewracking to begin with. I am fortunate that everything from general health examinations to female exams can be done close to where I live.