Does your child hug you?

Post Reply New Topic

I ask this because while I was growing up, I wasn't affectionate towards my family, especially my parents. My mom would make a big deal about it and complain to me that she was hurt that I wouldn't hug her, and blamed it on AS (honestly, I think it was because I couldn't really trust her, and because she wanted hugs so much that if I did give her a hug, she would get overexcited about it, and I didn't want that.) Do your children on the spectrum hug you? If they don't, are you bitter about it?

My Mother undiagnosed AS, I'm diagnosed recently AS, my older son diagnosed... (younger old !)

I never hugged my parents, me and my mother had no bond or hugs, it just did not happen in my family, but with my own children we like to hug, they like to hug very tight (both boys) but still find hugs hard from others, even my husband at times (love genuine hugs).

Am I bitter about my mother, use to be as never understood her or myself until recently, but now I understand. But growing up with someone who is unable to really be a mother, did it effect me of course, you could say I have been to hell and back..

NO! I am not bitter at all. I have to ask for a hug, usually. This is okay. When he wants to hug me, it's usually intense and smothering and I have to remind him to be gentle.

He doesn't love hugs, let's put it that way. I am not resentful at all and have never been very huggy myself.

Mostly, he is affectionate and doesn't understand space.

equinn

My stepdaughter doesn't hug me, but then I met her for the 1st time at 14.. I've never been much of a hugger...spooning in bed, however...

I tend to frequently give mom hugs, dad not so much... i have problems with male hugs for some reason...

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

I tried hugging my mom once when I was in preschool. She shoved me away, asked what I wanted and said I wouldn't be hugging her if I didn't want something. I never tried again. She started hugging me after I moved about 3 hours away - I never hugged back. If she wanted hugs she could have hugged me as a child

I hug my bf's parents but they always initiate it. I'm not sure I would have been comfortable starting that on my own. Bf's dad, who is also an aspie started it after I broke down and told him about how terrible my childhood was a couple times, and mom just followed suit.

Yes!! We hug all the time however if I give him "wet" kisses he will say "that's too much"! !

I remember hugging my mother once when I was about 10. She was shocked and told me that daughters didn't hug mothers like that. I was embarassed because my uncle always hugged me like that and told me it was alright. She asked 'do you want a boyfriend' and I said 'no!' and as she pushed me away, I remember me telling her "it was ok, that it won't hurt if I did it gently."

It was decades later that I wondered why she never put two and two together.
Or maybe she did and just didn't want to face it.

Merle

I find it painful to hug my parents and hated doing it as a kid. I dread seeing them today in large part because of the expected hug.

My HFA son will hug me (and only me), but his "hug" consists of touching my shoulders at arm's length. He does this a lot, though. "Want a hug?" and he touches my shoulders while standing a couple feet away. I think it's sweet.

I don't like touch. But, hugging is the exception. I'd take a hug from anyone.

I taught my son to hug, kiss by watching The Teletubbies ("Big Hug!") Since then he is very affectionate.

nope, I dont hug my parents, cause i see them all the time, now if relatives come to visit every year or so, then i may give them a small hug when they come and when they go, however i'm not affectionate person. (more into my computer then hugging). lol

Never hugged or kissed my parents...actually, I don't ever remember them attempting either on me either...Sadly, I don't know if this is because of autism or because of how I was treated...

A bit weird, but I remember being a toddler, falling down and walking to my mother to be hugged and her turning on me and telling me to get away...Never again did I try it.

With my dad, similar, but he was very abusive to me...actually, he still is...We had our latest encounter just a month ago...He's still trying to abuse me, but as an adult, I walk away and tell him off...ok, different story...

Anyway, with my kiddo? Well, maybe because his dad is such a hugger/kissing kind of guy, that I've learned to hug/kiss and with our kiddo, well, he's the most huggy/kissy kid I've ever seen! We have daily group hugs between the three of us and he'll come and kiss us for no other reason than to kiss us and tell us he loves us...

Unfortunately, he seems to ALSO do this with cute little girls with long hair...hehe...he's only 6...! !! We're in for trouble!

i am happy to say that my boy (dx AS) will come up and give me hugs or kisses. sometimes on request or not, he also asks for snuggles or will climb into my lap.
Sometimes he doesn't want to so i don't force the issue and am especially careful not to after learning many things from these forums.
i am an affectionate person so i guess that's what he learned, not sure how i'd react if he never wanted to hug. i think i'd be a bit sad. like i said though thankfully i don't have to deal with that. and am learning to be very greatful for the small blessings like that.

My son does his own "big hug" which is part of his going to sleep routine. He enjoys it as much as he hates hugs at other times (when he is not "the hugger" but "the hugged":)) Otherwise he is not a big hugger, and really has problems with kisses. It's a funnny kind of hug, very tight, he holds on until I say the hug is over!