With what I think peoples opinion of me might be after a social disaster (be it small or huge), which is in my experience always some kind of negative one.. BUT STILL I cant stop worrying about it foolishly.. My brain takes over and f***s me over at every given chance Im so tired of it.. I want it all to end. Sometimes I admit I over react (inside) when stuff like that happens, at least I never tend to show it. And its not like I can stop making mistakes like that, Ive already exhausted my motivation from trying after so many failures.. Sometimes I think Im better off going back to creating a make believe world for me to live in, where its everyone else who is the flawed ones, not me. Heres the thing, I cant do that cause I know its not healthy and when I was in that state of mind.. It was just.. Wrong on so many levels. I cant die either cause I still have things I wanna do and I love my music too much. Everything else sucks though and I dont know what to do.
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"In sin I want to live... Under the freezing moon"
~Gaamalzagoth