Suicide and Valentine's Day.

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I still remember putting the metal blades against my wrists, certain that the only way out was to kill myself, but not having the moral strength to carry through.

That's when I would say that God acted in my life.

As a teenager, the pain of loneliness, the stress of conformity, and the demands placed on me by others led me to only one conclusion. Life wasn't worth living and I wanted out.

I wasn't completely comfortable with myself. I knew I was different, but didn't competely understand it. I didn't understand why I was given to lonliness and depression. I didn't know why no one ever called by, to see how I was doing, see if I wanted to go anywhere, anything.

Over the years, I think I came to terms with the fact that others are not going to be comfortable with me, but that it's okay. I also think I realized that it's more important for me to be comfortable with myself and be rejected than to be uncomfortable, ditch my personality, and feel accepted.

What that means, though, is that I got to a point where I realized that other people are not going to always like me anyway.

i think this is the time of year when we here in America see tons of advertisements, all about how to treat your significant other, showing people who love each other. The ads have them holding hands, kissing. But, hey, it's Valentine's Day, right?

But sometimes there are those of us that can't find a significant other. No one seems to understand us. Many would just rather reject us, claiming that we're weird and that that makes us not right in the head.

The result is that sometimes Valentine's Day can be a hard time. If you are given to feeling lonely on that day, maybe even a little sad, I want you to know that you're not alone. And I thought maybe you would like to use this thread to talk about it a little.

I love myself, and find that others love me in turn. Love yourself completely, your scars, your bruises, your ugly marks, and your burns. I don't feel lonely, I have some wonderful people in my life, some of them only online. They know who they are. I like your philosophy of being your own guide to happiness. Does man create himself as a god, or does he become one gradually? I don't know, but hope to find out one day.

Right...Happy Valentine's Day. To me, holidays really do not matter, but I know what you're saying. I'll spend tomorrow (2.14) in the laboratory cryogenically slicing brains. Sorry it's rough for you - I know.

I know! I'll send all of you, since you're my friends, virtual chocolate hearts

arranged in a box!

I think I can accept that, miss. Virtual chocolate hearts are almost as good as the real thing.

You know, I find the same thing to be true, too, but I still don't seem able to make the kind of connection that leads to a romantic relationship.

I'm okay with it. Just sometimes hate holidays.

Thank you. That's very sweet.

And that's kind of the point here. This is a special sort of hug thread.

And how do you feel about virtual flowers?

You have not come to fully accept it? You realize it, and have yet to attain it? Maybe none of us have, but I feel filled with self worth, and I'm happy with that. Maybe tomorrow I wont? Time will tell.

No, I accept it in a way. I am who I am, regardless.

And I love everyone, even when they are confused by me, and I do love myself to death. I can still get a little lonely, though, and while that's not what I am feeling right now, I am a bit down.

But this is for everyone who gets lonely, especially on Valentine's Day. I'm sure you're sweet, though.

I do sometimes wish, though, that finding a girlfriend or something wasn't as difficult as it has been.

I don't love everyone, I don't want to waste love on people who don't deserve it. There are people I do love, and I won't waste what they deserve on those who DON'T deserve. It would be an insult, a spit in their face, if I loved others as I do them. Can you truly say you love someone who spits in your face, or do you simply convince yourself that you do? Love is one of the most selfish of feelings; you only feel it strongly for certain people, to the exclusion of all others. I wouldn't have it any other way

I can't help you there , why not just ask people? Its not overly difficult. If they say no, then you shall never see them ever again in your life; dont waste your time. This philosophy has made me happy

Ask them what?

Okay, seriously, I feel more at peace with myself solo than I do with someone else. I don't know how to explain it.

But sometimes holidays and all the stuff you see out there about them can make someone feel like that sort of peace is not really okay. I used to be given to loneliness, still sometimes can be, but not as much.

I was going to go into a topic about learning to love yourself, and I do want you to know that I agree with you there.

Maybe tomarrow or sometime when I'm in a better mood (and my mood has nothing to do with Valentine's Day).

Right now I just want to let everyone know that they don't have to feel all alone.

Thank you for your post, though.

Welcome

And I do appreciate what you have to say.

I just had a bad day. Watching someone you love have their health deteriorate isn't fun.

And that's been happening here.

morning_after,

I enjoyed your post and I can definitely relate to what you felt. It was like I felt there was no way out, but deep down I knew that suicide would get me nowhere.

It's important to remember, "love" is an act of the will.. despite popular culture trying to portray it as nothing more than the presence of a temporary emotional high. Love is anything BUT "selfish". Sometimes it's good to be reminded of that.

Thanks for the hearts! I do need to save room for the chocolate bunnies in a few weeks, though.

Thank you, and I do agree that it is an act of the will.

And I think it is important to be thankful for what you do have. I think that unless we reach the point where we love the friends and family we do have rather than focus on relationships we don't we cannot really be healthy.

Thats basically a point I was at least thinking of mentioning yesterday, but felt that an attempt to encourage people and give them a hug, thinking there was probably someone out there on the board that is caught up in the same mentality I used to be caught up in was probably more appropriate.

I did want to talk about the importantance of loving yourself and appreciating what you do have, so I appreciate your post.

I guess this is going in the direction of talking about loving yourself, though.