Draws wrote:
Is reward deficency syndrome a real syndrome? I know with me the only thing I find rewarding is learning something new. I think about things I'd like to get done, start them, but then never finish them because I get bored after I learn enough that I know I could complete it and move on. I really should of become a scientist, but I dropped out of university because first year was just repeating last year of highschool again (in terms of what was being taught) It's like society is set up for me to fail

Now I just make webpages because you can always learn new techniques for making graphics or learn a new tool. That keeps me stimulated enough. That and dexadrine, but I feel like I am getting stupid the more I take it cause I turn into a worker bee and stop learning and just doing so I'm trying to stop taking it but I jsut end up reading wp and reddit instead of doing work so it hasnt been working out to well so far.
I feel that way. I'm trying to get into a career in science but I'm finding the graduate school environment not particularly conducive to my mental well-being. I hate the idea of having to work with an advisor that might have me do things I find less than stimulating. I don't find doing things just to please others very rewarding. Neither did I ever find working for grades rewarding. I need to be curious / excited about whatever I'm doing to succeed in anything.
I can't be a robot who goes through life performing rote tasks which is the way the majority of people seem to operate. They have that fallback reward called a social life that I can’t rely on. Whatever career I go into has to be something that excites me / drives me. Otherwise I'll probably just end up offing myself someday.