How do you find time for it all?

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Ok, so I'm not over 30 but I am living 'on my own' with my husband. I am feeling very stressed today - like I have just too many things to do and not enough time for everything. I work full-time and have to walk the dog, clean, cook, and study for/go to religious meetings in the evening.

It seems like if I go to work all day and do all the things I need to do in the evening, I end up having no time to relax and de-stress myself from the world.

I've been missing my religious meetings a lot lately because I just feel too stressed. I need my evening to relax. How can I change this? I want to be able to go but how will I have time for everything else?

Sorry, this is probably too inspecific. Perhaps you can just share your general prioritizing and coping strategies with me?

Thank you

Maybe you're stressed because you're missing your religious meetings?

Get hubby to pull a little more of whatever he thinks is his "fair share" of the weight.

Prioritise some "me time" for yourself, even if it's just to sit in the back yard with a glass of tea and some Enya CDs on your iPod ... or whatever ...

Have you tried just shutting yourself in a room for a bit and winding down listening to your favorite music for a few minutes. I know this helps with me a lot. As with touch, I believe music is very healing and therapeutic.

That's the thing, I don't really feel like I have time to do those things.



Not sure what to do about husband... I don't want to be his mother and assign him chores but if I don't say anything he just won't see what needs to be done. Often, even if I do ask, he's too tired to do it now 'he'll do it later'.

I guess I need to start lists and hour by hour planning of my evenings and make sure I schedule some alone time. That's the only way I can think of to make sure I get everything done. I might be blowing it out of proportion. Seeing a list of what actually needs to be done and when might help. It just seems so overwhelming considering that 3 of 5 evenings (as well as both week end days) have a religious obligation and 1 other evening my husband always has friends over until 11 and I feel like a jerk to leave and not be sociable. That leaves me just 1 free evening.

Thanks for the advice so far
Probably nothing anyone can do to help me, but it helps just to talk.

Last edited by mitharatowen on 02 Dec 2008, 1:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Could you maybe work part time instead? This is what I do. And maybe you can cut down on your religious obligations..... if it's becoming more of a negative than a positive, that's not good. As for actually getting a husband to do chores, well good luck with that. Not on a regular basis anyway. You might be able to convince him to take over walking the dog or something.

You are not your husband's mother, maid, or slave. You are his wife, and a person in your own right.

Those friends of his are his to be sociable with, not yours. Let hubby know that he is responsible for their entertainment and for the clean-up aftwerwards, not you. Let him know that as long as he's ignoring you to spend time with his friends, you are going to spend time with yours (at church, of course).

My wife does not expect me to tag along when she goes out with her sisters, and when I want time alone or with friends, she respects that too.

Thanks for the suggestions zghost

I can't work part time, husband works part time so that he can go to school. I have to work full time for us to have enough money to live.
That's really why I started cutting down my religious meetings but I don't really want to.
I tried asking him to walk the dog, didn't work out too well.

Thanks guys but I think I'm just gonna try to work this out on my own. I've been thinking about it and there's really nothing anyone else can do to help me out. I thought I might be able to get coping strategies from other people 'with AS' but no one knows my specific situation like I do (and I'm terrible at applying general suggestions) so I'll just have to do it on my own.

Thanks for listening to me complain though

Why walk the dog?
I know for sure that nobody is relaxed who brings their dog to my house to poop.

When I was your age, I was where you are now. If you just want to complain to someone who understands, feel free to pm me.