Boss's Behaviour Translation Request

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Can someone explain my boss's behaviour. We get along really well so there is no tension between the two of us. He's very supportive of my career and pushing me to move either laterally or up in the ladder.

However, I have discovered that he's a touchy individual at times. I have seen him hug the odd lady here & there but always when other people were around him.

For me, we always seem to bump into each other when it's just the two of us. He gives me a big tight hug. My family doesn't even hug me that tight so that's why I'm a bit confused. He also gives me a peck on the cheek.

I've never had a boss do that to me and I just couldn't imagine any of them would. My boss is in his 60's so perhaps it is his generation that does that. It's not making me uncomfortable in the least. Thoughts on why he does this? Probably overreacting.

I don't know what to say, but maybe he is just a physical person who likes to touch, or maybe it is a part of the culture he is from.

Hold on, before we burn this man at the stake for his "inappropriate" behaviour, bear in mind there's a lot we don't know. This could be nothing more than a kindly old man who feels people need a hug from time to time. Knowing that one of his staff is autistic, he may want to leave her in no doubt that she's a welcome part of his work family. I've seen innocent, friendly behaviour misconstrued too many times, leaving a well natured, caring person labelled as a pervert.

There is an episode of Seinfeld that kind of deals with this topic.
“The Kiss Hello”
“Kramer wants to put tenant pictures up in the building's lobby so everybody knows each other better. Jerry has decided he will no longer kiss hello. . . After Kramer put all the pictures in the lobby people are being nicer. Unfortunately for Jerry, he is kissed hello by a neighbor. . . Jerry is annoyed because now every female tenant kisses him hello. Jerry argues with Kramer about it and, as George arrives, Kramer kisses Jerry. . . When Jerry gets back to his apartment, his picture is defaced, and nobody wants to talk to him.” This is because Jerry outright told one of the neighbor women that he no longer wanted to hug and kiss hello. The neighbors accuse him of having poor manners and make it perfectly clear how much they enjoy exchanging friendly greetings that include hugging and kissing. “In the last shot Kramer is throwing a party at his home and didn't invite Jerry.” (All the neighbors who stick to the hugging and kissing ritual are there so Jerry is excluded.)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kiss_Hello

Although it is possible that your boss is just a "kindly old man who feels people need a hug from time to time," I am surprised that he is acting this way because these days most companies are so freaked out about being sued for sexual harassment that they explicitly tell employees not to do things like this. Moreover, the fact that this guy is only this way with you makes me worry that he is hitting on you. Nevertheless, you wrote that "It's not making me uncomfortable in the least." If it ever does start to make you feel uncomfortable, I suggest you politely explain the situation to someone in human resources (HR). Tell them that you are not trying to get anyone in trouble, but you would appreciate it if they diplomatically told your boss to stop it (preferably without mentioning your name).

I've had construction guys straight out give me a shoulder rub while they're saying hi to me. Its odd but people do it, male and female... maybe they miss hugging their daughters because she died when they where younger, maybe he is very affectionate and thinks of you as family - this would be a good time to ask for a downpayment for a house from him. Personally speaking unless they are going out of their way to literally rub my genitals, I don't see it as a problem. I'm male, and I've been slapped on the butt by girls and boys. Burned, literally, and hit in the gut. All in the line of work/dealing with people....

Personally speaking I have less problems with a hug than a handshake, I'd actually complain about the handshake and give them a hug instead - because there is no eye contact involved.

So before you try to toast your boss at the stake, figure out whether or not it really bothers you. And don't listen to these other people, they just don't know how to take a good hug. And there was one time I had a late 30's manager digging in my pocket because she thought I had a game in my pocket. (someone told her I was using it while working, but it was just my phone). She was on her knee's next to the register where i was working sorting the safe while she did it. By the time she noticed that she was digging in a 20 year old boys pocket in the middle of the store asking him whats in his pocket while on her knee's - it was too late. I just simply turned towards her, and put my hand on top of her head.. And then they transfered her stores immediately the next day.

(Note : Work can be fun!)

I would say it's inappropriate. If you feel weird or uncomfortable about it, your intuition is telling you something. If you don't like it, you can/should put a stop to it. If he doesn't stop, it's sexual harassment and against the law.

I sure wouldn´t like my boss doing that to me....

Thank you all for your feedback - there's definitely a mixture of thoughts.

My boss is an Australian and I work with engineers/construction individuals. I really do not know if he is kissing other ladies on the cheek when I'm not around him. He doesn't hug/kiss me on a daily basis but that's only because I don't see him everyday.

The hug is a quick but very tight one.

When he hugged/kissed me on one occasion, we hadn't seen each other in a few weeks. I had just returned from holidays in Russia and he had been on a few weeks long business trip. I suppose that was more of a greeting than being inappropriate?

The next time it happened, I had just learned that he was responsible for finding me a job within a day. If he hadn't I would have been laid off. I went around to his office to say thank you. When we first met and when I left his office, he hugged/kissed me.

Does this change his actions or is it still considered naughty? Part of me sort of thinks that it's not bad because I've seen him give other ladies hugs.

Perhaps he likes some human contact and he likes you, therefore he wants to hug you sometimes. I don´t see the big deal, if that makes him happy, why can´t you just play along?

That would be the nice thing to do.

I'd say he's genuinely being nice

First of all, whether he's being nice or not, all managers get an education about what and what not to do with their employees, and physical contact is a huuuuge no-no. Even if it's invited, even if it's liked, a manager is never not supposed to touch another employee, especially one of the opposite sex and one he has authority over.

Second, I would say that the big question is how do YOU feel about it? You never have to put up with people touching you if you don't invite it, don't like it and want it to stop.