This girl is amazing, but I don't know what to do...

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I'm 18 years old... I went out tonight. Got really drunk. Made a bunch of friends, had so much fun... but there was this girl. She was obviously as smashed as I was... but we talked and I really had a lot of fun with her. We held hands on the bus back home, and she laid her head on my shoulder.

;_;

It was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced... but when we got off the bus, she seemed very reluctant to be close to me. I walked her to her room and said "so I guess you want me to leave then?" And she just said yes... Like as though she thought all I wanted was to come in and f**k her... but that really isn't the truth... more than anything I just want to be with her and enjoy her company.

Should I talk to her again? If so, what should I say? I really don't know what I could possibly say to her to let her know how I feel. Please help this heartbroken ret*d out... I just want a life... I don't know how to feel right now.

All I want is a girl, and I really don't know how to interpret this situation... she is amazing. Please help.

Well if you were both wasted when you talked, you might have completely different personality types when sober... just bear that in mind...

Yeah, honestly now I'm at university this is something I'm very familiar with, but this seemed a lot different...

forget it.

hell, what else? you have nothing to loose! the worst that can happen is she tells you to get off. you need to practice that too :) okay not funny



i don't have the slightest idea. and if i had, it would not be useful to you, because my ideas didn't really work so far.



now that's easy again. excited. curious. open.

You have more of a life than I have. I'd be lucky if a girl even talks to me.

I don't think she was making any judgement about you by going to her room. I'm guessing it was late and drink makes you tired. She was probably just really tired and wanted to collapse.

Of course you've got to talk to her again if you got on so well... I guess about whatever it was you found you had in common the other night. If you already found you could have a good time with her you probably know what to say to her better than most people on here.

Good luck!

Stop right there. Alcohol is not a good basis to make any assumptions about a possible relationship. You're overthinking the situation a bit. Drinking creates a comfort zone you wouldn't have otherwise, so the situation may just be stressful sober.



I'm a little confused by your definition of "close" but if you're talking about in terms of physically then she could've felt like she mislead you. Although a head on the shoulder is usually an IOI, and handholding can be playful or romantic, it could've just as easily been for comfort more than anything and nothing more, although to many guys (not just AS) this can sometimes be misleading. She obviously DID feel comfortable around you though, which is a positive thing. If you tried to be romantic or intimate on the walk back and she wasn't feeling it, she would be reluctant to return affection and her "yes" to your leaving was nothing personal against you. You didn't do anything wrong and she certainly doesn't think any less of you for it.

I'd say talk to her again. Whether or not she was interested the way you were, she was receptive to you from the start and will probably be glad to talk to you again. I wouldn't tell her how you feel, as it might scare her off being that you'd only known her for a night, but don't be shy to tell her you had a good time. Who knows? It could be the start of something beautiful!

Yes you should talk to her again.

You should tell you you had a nice time that night and you'd like to go out on a real date.

Just be happy about the feelings you have and explore them further.

I'd say talk to her and be honest, you clearly have romantic feelings, I'd think its best to be upfront about that.

I disagree with this. Sober, yes. But if a girl is drunk it is much more likely that she is weary and (obviously in her drunken state forgetting social niceties) wants to rest her head on something; usually a guys shoulder is the best available option. I do this to my guy friends all the time when I'm drunk, doesn't mean I have romantic feelings for any of them.

However, saying all that, I think the OP should go for it, because if he felt they got along really well and had a connection then this is probably a better sign than any physical stuff (when you're drunk). Of course keeping in mind that people can be quite different drunk and sober.

Or, you could always go out drinking with her again, and find out if it was just a one time thing or not. If you hit it off again, that's a good sign.

Go for it, just keeping in mind that you were both sorta smashed.

Don't be offended about the leaving once she got to her room thing. While you would have been happy to hang out and talk, it's all too true that the majority of guys in that position would be expecting sex from her.

Just speaking for myself, one of the first reasons I liked my male Aspie friend was because I could drink around him and not have to get stressed that he may cross the line after a few too many. It helped create a sense of trust and mutual respect, and no matter what you see, trust me, those two traits can get you far with a woman.

I've had a similar situation happen to me. My situation involved riding with a girl in a car: we were both drunk, and she had her head on my shoulder. But once we both got out of the car, she acted like nothing even happened. Here's some advice I can offer based on my experience.

First of all, remember that you were both drunk. Alcohol can alter people's perceptions of those around them. So during the bus ride home, when you two held hands and she put her head on your shoulder, it was probably because she wanted to feel comforted by someone, rather than out of romantic interest. The alcohol had an effect on you as well. It seemed like it intensified the warm feelings you had toward the girl when she showed you affection.

Second, try to put yourself in the girl's shoes, and see her actions from her point of view (would that be empathy?). You put a lot of meaning into the way she acted on the bus. But how do you think she views it? It is as big a deal to her as it is to you, or just something she did with someone she's comfortable being around?

Third, I think you should try to talk to her again. But don't bring up the hand-holding and the head on shoulder. Just talk to her like you would talk to any girl you're interested in. If you don't see any signs on interest, just enjoy the affection she already gave you, chalk it up as a learning experience, and move on.

Okay, I talked to her again this afternoon... she was really quiet, but I said I was sorry for getting wasted and being a dickhead, and she was okay with it. I also said I had fun, and she said she had fun as well. She seems really nice sober, and she's very pretty... (it wasn't the beer goggles ) I don't know where I can go from here, as in giving her my number or whatever... but I'm feeling a lot better. Oh, and in case you can't tell I was still pretty wasted when I posted this thread, but I think you get the picture.

i agree with everyone else, you've got nothing to lose so you might as well go for it.

as for where to go from here, you could ask her out to lunch or coffee. you're both in university so there's no point spending a load of money you don't have on a big expensive date that has no guarantee of success. test the waters with something small, if it goes well, then maybe go on an actual date. if you're not very good at one on one interaction, you could consider inviting her out with your friends to something social first. i met a girl through rowing and just as a spur of the moment thing invited her to lunch with my high school friends. it didn't end up working out but it was because of other issues in her personal life, lunch went really well. the reason i like that kind of situation best is because there's less pressure on me to keep the conversation going, which i find difficult at times, so it's easier for me to relax and have a good time with the girl, which is really what you're trying to do.

also, it's usually the guy that gets the girl's number. guys are supposed to be the ones leading everything so it's usually us that get the numbers. i'd suggest casually asking her out sometime, and get her number after the date if it goes well.

good luck