Long Distance relationship between 2 Aspies

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AussieAspie36
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04 Apr 2009, 8:11 pm

Hi there, I would be interested to find out how others would handle a long distance relationship between 2 countries. Both myself and my partner have been in a relationship for a little over a year.



Learning2Survive
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04 Apr 2009, 8:14 pm

it fulfills your human needs for connectedness and companionship on a level that is appropriate for aspies - that's why doctor's always recommend pets and internet friends to aspies and autistics.

long distance relationship? it's like you get the benefits of a relationship without the abuse that is almost bound to arise when two people live together.


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Tim_Tex
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04 Apr 2009, 8:17 pm

I've been in one before, and would consider it again. I am more concerned with connecting with someone, than where they live.



AussieAspie36
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04 Apr 2009, 8:45 pm

I am happy in my, I just get tired of NT's and their world.



mitharatowen
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04 Apr 2009, 8:51 pm

I have been in several long distance relationships. I might have some advice for you, any specific issues you need help on?

:D



BobTheMartian
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04 Apr 2009, 9:05 pm

In any long distance relationship I've been in my solution has always been to make it short distance as soon as possible. However, my means and my ability to uproot are both somewhat higher than that of most people my age and even moreso than most aspies my age, so this may not be viable for you. I'd have to ask what specific problems you're experiencing with the nature of the relationship before being able to give any particular advice.


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Social_Fantom
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04 Apr 2009, 9:07 pm

I've been in a couple of long distance relationships that worked out better than any I've had in person, which are none at all. I wonder if it's because they didn't see me in person. :scratch:

But in the end, those didn't work out either. I sometimes think a long distance relationship is my only chance but I don't know anymore. :(


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KingofKaboom
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04 Apr 2009, 9:17 pm

Ultimately the goal of any such relationship is to become short distance but stay close emotionally long distance, anything else is just a pen pal.


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Bluestocking
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04 Apr 2009, 9:18 pm

All of my relationships, including my current one, have been long distance relationships. My boyfriend is neurotypical, but I appreciate the fact that thanks to the internet, he fell in love with my personality long before he ever saw a picture of me. Perfect for an aspie who is tired of shallow advances.
I say try and make an effort to talk every day, have long conversations, and don't get distracted by outside sources on the internet, like articles and videos, unless you want to share and watch/read together. My boyfriend and I also read books together by buying the same book at the store, then we both read it, then finish it and talk about it. This is good at making it feel more satisfying and complete in spite of the distance.



AussieAspie36
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04 Apr 2009, 9:28 pm

Any help would be greatly appreciated.



jawbrodt
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04 Apr 2009, 9:46 pm

I would consider having one if there was a real chance of us meeting. In my current circumstances, I doubt I will be able to travel anywhere in a long time. So, unless she would be willing to someday come to meet me, I'd rather keep it as just friends. :)


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makelifehappen
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04 Apr 2009, 10:14 pm

I was in a long distance online relationship (met whilst researching symptoms related to AS/OCD on another forum). He was in the UK and we are now happily floating through life from my homeland (Canada), married and have children (both on the spectrum). He packed nothing more than he could fit in a backpack and hopped on a plane leaving his job of 10 years, house that he owned (in a lawyers hands), all of his belongings etc behind.

Crazy? YES! Totally! but...

Life is grand. :D

I say, go for it:)

We were apart, but visiting every couple of months for the first 14 months...if it had been much longer we might have gone mad, but instead we just made it happen.

He lived here with me and was not allowed to work for the first 20 months whilst going through the immigration mayhem, but it was good because we were able to spend that time getting our lives together.

Sometimes I wish we'd have made the move the opposite direction, but hell, not a alot we can do about it now! Something for you to consider though....

Anything else you'd be interested in hearing, I'd be happy to share...just let me know.

MLH


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mitharatowen
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05 Apr 2009, 11:35 am

^ Aww what a beautiful story!



Darian_C
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05 Apr 2009, 9:01 pm

In the last 2 years I've been through 4 or 5 times as many long-distance internet relationships than I have real-life relationships (and I've been through 4) with (what I suspect were) NT girls. I can tell you I've had a lot of fun, and there are numerous advantages to dating long distance and meeting someday than just meeting casually and building a friendship over a long period of time.



ButtCoffee
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06 Apr 2009, 12:03 am

an online relationship doesn't qualify as an actual relationship



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06 Apr 2009, 12:14 am

Darian_C wrote:
In the last 2 years I've been through 4 or 5 times as many long-distance internet relationships than I have real-life relationships (and I've been through 4) with (what I suspect were) NT girls. I can tell you I've had a lot of fun, and there are numerous advantages to dating long distance and meeting someday than just meeting casually and building a friendship over a long period of time.


Wow! And you're only 14. You must have been dating at least a year or two to have been in that many relationships. That's a really good achievement. :D


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