Diagnosis

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I spent many years confused as to why I constantly felt like the odd person out, always the 'confused' or 'strange' one. I frequently did made strange, out-of-place comments, had overbearing obsessions that would control my life, and other such Aspergers traits. Throughout my childhood I chalked this up to being "weird". I could not communicate properly with my peer group, I found what should have been complex theories ridiculously easy and had a tendency to learn strange things without really trying for no particular reason (for example I learned pi to 96 decimal places in the space of a few days be reading it a couple of times). By high school I decided I was just a nerd and continued for a few years under that assumption, though I still always felt that something was missing.

Finally, a few years ago I discovered Aspergers Disorder and everything made sense all of a sudden. My difficulties and lack of interest in socialising, the strange tics and obsessions, etc. were actually part of something and not just me being 'odd'. I was relieved. However, at the time it was unreasonable for me to get a diagnosis as I was trying to get a job and thought it would not be terribly helpful towards being employed if I had to tell prospective employers that I was mentally disabled, which although I would not technically have to do, I would have done anyway as it would feel like lying by omission if I did not disclose such an important detail to someone who might be willing to put their trust in me as an employee.

Several years on, I do not feel this was a wise decision. I now want to get a diagnosis for one, to confirm my suspicions and secondly so that I can function more completely in my workplace and in my university as they do have support systems available to ASD sufferers. However, as I have lived so comfortably in the assumption of being an 'aspie', and since I have made it such a large part of my identity, I am terrified of going for a diagnosis and being told that no, I really am just a freak of nature and not an aspie at all. I am having trouble with several social-based elements of my university course and could really benefit from the support services they offer, but I am so absolutely afraid of losing my identity as an Aspergers person that I am unable to bring myself to try for a diagnosis, even if I knew where to get one. I fear that perhaps I ahve been so locked on the belief that I have ASD that I might have overlooked something else, or that I may have started trying to justify things I do as Aspergers traits, rather than simply identifying traits I have.

Can anyone give me some advice? Should I seek a diagnosis? If so, how and where can I get one without it costing me a fortune as I am a student and am struggling to cover my living costs as it is? I am very conflicted in this matter and cannot reconcile myself to action or inaction. Please help?

I am exactly the same way!
I would say, get a diagnosis, you'd get some closure, and you'd know the right way to approach this.
I am still trying to muster up the courage to approach someone and ask where/how to get a diagnosis

Fear not, if you've studied AS for a while and feel certain you have it, chances are very good you're correct. Aspies may be among the only sufferers of any kind of brain dysfunction qualified to diagnose themselves. It seems to be fairly commonplace.

Although it was (were?) others in my life who brought the disorder to my attention and associated it with me, I was the one who took it to a professional and said "I think I may have this, whadda you think?" She brought in another professional for a second opinion and they both agreed that I was right. So if all or most of the Aspie shoes fit, you're probably wearing them. Mismatched, of course.

Hi Suicune,

I left something in your private messages that may be of use.

Best of Luck!

Well, as comforting as your current identity might seem, there is no point living it if it is merely a misconception on your part.

Personally I find it difficult to believe an intelligent person could be erudite about ASDs and mistake themselves for having one if in fact they do not have one (more likely is mistaking which one they have for some other one).

I think the more important advice in your situation would about when (rather than if) you go for diagnosis. It is absolutely crucial to choose a physician who has specific expertise in adult diagnosis (of ASDs).

There is a huge body of anecdotal evidence indicating that many physicians throw out common sense, human rights and clinical expertise when it comes to ASD, in favor of outdated, and frankly hyperbolic stereotypes about "people like us". If you do not want to hear something like "you cannot have AS because you [insert something many people with AS do here]", then you need to be very sure that the person you are seeing has clinical expertise in the assessment of ASDs in adults.

In the meantime, if you wanted to be more certain before you take the "diagnostic plunge" and you have no non-correctable vision problem, you could have your acuity of vision tested. If it is exceptional (within the range of some bird of prey) it's very unlikely that you do not have an ASD. You might also want to try this (click me) self-administered test if you have not already done so.

I say go for it! It's a risk, but with worthwhile stakes, and it's the only way you're going to move forward. Also, are you at UQ? I'm an aspie at UQ - actually spoke at the aspie conference with Tony Attwood the other week, and I'm involved in getting an Aspergers group started at the uni.

At any rate, no matter what uni you're at, I think Support Services can be invaluable to someone with AS, so you should definitely at least attempt to get a diagnosis. For me, all they do is help me with my organization once a week and make sure I've got everything on track, but something so basic makes an enormous difference to my coping skills, and I am able to take on way more than I would otherwise.

If you're in Brisbane, then I think try for an appointment with Tony Attwood. He is pretty much the world expert on AS, and from what I heard at the conference - knows what he's talking about, and also has an advanced understanding of what AS really is, and how it can appear different in adults than in children (the biggest danger of getting misdiagnosed - not with AS - is that the current diagnostic criteria is specifically tailored towards children and not adults).

Anyway, here's his website:

http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/

Even if you're not diagnosed with it, if you are at UQ you should come join our group anyway (once we eventually get around to forming it - it's still in the preliminary stages as they are trying to secure a space in the uni)

For anyone else at UQ interested in the group, my email is yellow_pink_fairy@hotmail.com if you want to keep posted. Again, it's still in the "idea" stage, and I'll post a proper announcement up on WP once we do get it underway.

I am developing a theory as to why diagnosis can be difficult, why doctors and such get it wrong so often.

See, Aspies are pretty functional and typically have a smart mind. we learn to HIDE or even reverse specific symptoms. Often we don't even realize we do it, we just think life is difficult for EVERYONE and we somtimes wonder why it sucks so bad or why death seems curiously interesting (some not all, and no - thinking about it is not meaning I'm closer to doing it. Thinking about it is healthy for me to find the enjoyable reasons to live.)

Two main points:

1) We can use our smart mind to control our behavior. Think of an automatic transmission on a car. But you will find some hints of this. The person finds life exhausting. Person chooses to avoid social situations when given the free choice (no family or other pressure), or always picks slower social times if given the choice.

2) You will find if you study humans that people sometimes work hard on an important weakness. It becomes an obsession. Like an itch that you scratch to bleeding. some people become experts in a topic they don't understand - searching for answers. So you can find even non Aspies who do this... fear of public speaking, get all the best training, and become world-class public speakers. Not everyone shares the same level of drive (emotional pull). There is a thread here on this forum about dancing, and how some Aspies became dancers when it is generally agreed most are no good at it... but they tended to give it up after some years and now recognize the style of dancing they picked was rather structured and organized (not free form).


An analogy: I may cook a great soup for dinner. I can't figure out what spice is missing. So I add 25 grams of salt. It doesn't come out right. So I throw out the soup and make a fresh batch. Second batch does not taste right, so this time I try to add 25 grams of pepper. It doesn't come out right. So I throw out hte soup and make a fresh batch. Third batch does not taste right, so this time I try to add 25 grams of ginger. It doesn't come out right.

I have the trial and error down real well. But I never seem to catch on that 25 grams is way too much to add Probably all I needed was the salt, but 5 grams would have been more than enough.

Not perfect, but hope it connects with someone. And for me, even if I see these mistakes, I seem to make them again

What a waste of (otherwise) perfectly good soup!

I know it's an analogy, but I often have a tendency to do this; throw out something essentially good, which has one flaw that could be fixed. I prefer to start anew.



It would help if people pointed this out to us. Unfortunately, this kind of thing is worst in social situations, and it's generally frowned upon to tell people explicitly they're doing something wrong. For some reason NT's prefer to keep it awkward instead of just telling you straight up you're being weird. Of course, we tend not to pick up the signs that people are being uncomfortable...



Yes, same here, and I think it was a good analogy.

Other folks say it depends on the severity of your symptoms. My family has a diverse amount of diagnoses, until it comes to me and my brother. My mother is paranoid schizophrenic (severe). My older son has tourettes syndrome. My younger son is ODD, a lot like his brother but without the tics. My older brother is either an Aspie or has autism, but he's just like Forrest Gump. He's so gullible, and has a low IQ (so more autistic?). He's not diagnosed, because my mom refused to believe he was different, and anyone saying so was part of this huge conspiracy, very elaborate conspiracy (she very schizophrenic). So, he got better as he got older, but his IQ is around 80 and he works in a warehouse. Needless to say, I've been very stressed out all my life, and while everyone else was more severe, I was just depressed and not prone to socializing because I had too much other crap to deal with? So, is it my lack of socialization that makes me socially inept? Was it all that stress that made me anxious and depressed? Or is it Aspergers?

Thing is, a diagnosis may bring some closure, but would it help? IT has helped my sons to get better helps at their schools. And they don't use it as an excuse to misbehave. My oldest has grown out of most of his tics and is no longer hyper, so hardly anyone can tell he has Tourettes Syndrome now. My younger son is improving as he gets older too. Thing is, Aspergers improves with age too, as people learn some social skills, more or less the hard way. Intelligence helps too, as I've seen Aspergers is normal to high intelligence right? You just learn as you go.

So, would a diagnosis help an adult with Aspergers? I can understand how it would help a younger person to get more access to services to help learn social skills, but is there anything available for adults?

You are in Brisbane. go and get a dx. You have some good people right on your doorstep, as Sunshower mentions. (I am in Murwillumbah and access the same team, although my Psych is now out on his own on the Gold Coast.)

I initially went in to see my AS psychologist (minds and hearts) with 30 pages of self-diagnosis info, collated and structured and systematised. I am my own special interest. (i have others that are more engaging.)

I also went in with a folder of stuff on my main special interest.



My point is, go and get a dx and find out.
No harm done either way. and at least you will know.
I do know someone who felt they were AS and came away without a dx.