Do you keep a diary/journal?

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Does anyone else keep a journal to offload emotions? I have since I was a teenager and a lot of them are really harrowing. I had a dream the other day that someone was reading them years after my death...might have to write that into a story sometime. Anyone reading them would have pretty rough picture of how my life has been cos it's all in there. It's a weird thought when you get your head around it...someone knowing everything, all my emotions, my thoughts and struggles through life, without perhaps knowing me (depending on when I die etc).

Weird thoughts

I do but since short. I never read what i've wrote... don't know why but i don't like it.

I used to write down my thoughts and feelings for years. I have a box downstairs full of folders I wrote. I have the same concern as you - what will someone think if they read them? I plan on burning them one day. I don't want anyone reading them. I'd rather not even read them myself (I never have).

I did them as a sort of 'therapy' and self discovery, which I feel is good. It was sort of an outlet and expression of myself. For me, it has been beneficial. I wrote down whatever I felt, good or bad, a total expression of myself. I'll never read them. That was not their intent, but only an expression of myself at the moment. But alot of thoughts are too private for others to see and some could easily be misinterpreted if not taken in the correct context (as that's how many private thoughts are).

I keep thinking about burning them all, but can't seem to bring myself to do it . . . at least, not at this point. I don't think I'm quite ready to let go of my past as that, really, is what they mean to me - my past . . . and deep feelings too. One day I need to do this though . . .

You're really brave for thinking about burning them all as that's a really big step to take. I'm not ready for that and not sure I ever will be. I do sometimes read back over my journals but that's because I like to see how my feelings have changed and/or if things have progressed, especially as I feel so heavy and churned up inside. I know people recommend that you don't read back over them as it's to do with the NOW, not the past, but somehow my words mean a lot. I wrote stories when I was a child and I could never throw them away as they're all part of me. That said, I have enormous respect for anyone who can chuck the things from the past away and start anew.

I was going to make this thread myself, actually...

Just last night I was reading my old diary from September-December 2008. That was just before the problems started, and nearer the end includes my discovering AS. It's amazing how much I have changed and grown in several months. Back then I was so naive, childish, yet happy. Not a depressed bone in my body. I would write about silly funny things that happened during the day.

But my current diary is full of dark depressing things. The first page is about the time I tried to exact revenge upon my mother and brother for mistreating me, and it went wrong and got me in trouble; I ended up drinking heavily that night and got a hangover in the morning (to this day, nobody knows where that bottle of wine went). I only wrote a few pages after that, about the transfer to my new school, and then I felt so bad emotionally I didn't bother writing for a long time. I only just started writing again. I guess I'd forgotten how much writing could help.

I destroy all my old diaries every now and again, because I'm seriously paranoid about them. But I think I'll be keeping the ones I have at the moment, because I have stopped writing the stuff that could be embarrassing.

Even after the diaries are gone, the main points of them are still imprinted in my brain - that's how I can often remember things like how long my obsessions have lasted. The time before I started writing diaries is a blank space in my mind, save for a few memories (but I don't remember the time they occurred unless they were once written down).

I did write regular diary during the 90's before I got my diagnosis. I read them in year 2000 when I got my diagnosis to see if I could see any clear traces of AS in them but I havent read them since then. Would be interesting to return to them and read it all again. But if I know myself right I would think its too embarrasing to keep and probably end up burn it all up too...

I never forget how devastating it was when my brother came across my private words. Of course he told my mum about what he read. That was extremely devastating and I felt so naked. t I dont want a single living person to ever find them again when thinking of that....

I started keeping journals when I was a kid; I think I got my first one when I was six or seven. I've since lost that journal, and it makes me kind of mad. But I have a huge box full of journals, many going back to when I was nine or ten.

I do read my journals sometimes. I don't find my private thoughts all that embarassing, although they can be sometimes. I admit I cringe when I read over some of the old stuff. But sometimes I write insightful or funny things, or simply regurgitate the events of a day. Reading the events of a day that happened years ago can be extremely entertaining, because I come across things I had completely forgotten about.

I've been keeping a journal/diary since 2006. I write in it almost everyday.

i've never managed to MAINTAIN any of my journals but now i've started writing again on my livejournal but it's private and only i can read it so maybe it'll be much easier to maintain it cause no one will be able to read it.

Yes, I have a diary on my computer on word.

I do keep a journal, but I always have had trouble putting emotions into words. Anyways, I've never used it to offload emotion, but rather because I want to record my memories so I will never forget any of my life experiences.

Now with videos and all, it is even better. I might start journaling online, but for now, I just put videos on discs and tape them into my journal (in sleeves)

Most of the time, I write in a purely factual recording of the events style, so it minimizes the embarrassment factor.I wouldn't want anyone else to read them, but I wouldn't mind after I die if someone decides to read them.