When did you or have you accepted your Aspieness?

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Alot of people on here seem very wise with years of experience or a loving family that understands there traits and don't constantly nag them about there issues. So I was curious at what age did you "accept it" or are you still in the upset/processing phase (AKA me upset when someone mentions a trait they don't like that I tend to do) Alot of people here seem wise beyond there years with there AS (of course they've known longer about having it) but any tips to help me deal with family etc. BTW I'd like to think alot of the WP members you have interesting views and those older and wiser have given me a different look on dealing with making friends or dealing with family that constantly complain about my behaviors.

VERY good question!!
I lived in denial for YEARS after my official diagnosis
I came to accept it when I couldn't cope with (or hide) it any longer

most of my family still thinks I'm nuts, but my mom is starting to come around to see me as I am.

I don't comprehend any "upset/processing phase". As soon as I read about it, I knew that my phychologist was onto something. Problems that I have never been able to describe to anyone were layed right out there in text. I spent all night reading about it with ecstatic fervor.

When my mom told me about AS in September, I denied it to her. By the way she presented it, I thought it was some serious medical condition that would require special care and support and I refused to believe that I am in a need of something like that.
However, somehow it seemed that all roads led me to it. I began encountering the name more and more online, until I gave in and actually took it seriously for once and read the symptoms carefully with much thought. Then I realized that it they were describing the *real* me, the part of me I have hidden very thoroughly and with *some* success for almost 3 years. I kept thinking about it, turning things around and trying to remember my childhood. I had trouble accepting it until this april, I went to some forum dealing with mental disorders and began talking about my problems communicating with my father and how he never makes eye contact and always mumbles to himself, not interested in what others have to say. Then I clicked on some random link that led me to WrongPlanet. Upon reading people's posts on here and back at the other forum, I've realised that my behaviours, my experiences, and even the way I express my thoughts was on a similar level with these people. Looking at real-life experiences of real people helped me understand the human side to the syndrome, and I finally found a group of people I could identify with. This is so different from just reading a list of symptoms, you need to grow into this new awareness on a perceptual level. Now, I feel that I'm not alone, and it gives me courage to be myself. I don't see the need for pretense anymore because I've finally come to accept who I really am. To answer the question of this thread, I've accepted it about a month ago, the time that I've joined this forum.
I've had some clues in the past as well, before I even knew about Asperger's: when I was very small, maybe 5, being a bookworm, I read everything that was available to me. Once I was reading something about medical conditions, I stumbled across a section on autism that described the symptoms, and exclaimed inside my mind: "Wow, this is like me!" But, I thought, I'm pretty normal compared to autistics, I don't have any issues with my speech or any development problems, and I could still communicate with people even though they do think that I'm strange. So, I didn't tell anyone. Then, later, my mom took me to a psychiatrist and she mentioned that I might have a mild form of autism, and I remember it because that spark set off in my mind about reading that article in a book. I was still confused, because again, I didn't have development problems...
I'm still keeping this away from my family, though. However, not from anyone else; I've already told my guidance counsellor, a couple of teachers, and my family doctor so that she could refer me for diagnosis.

As soon as my psychiatrist told me about it, I was beyond relieved to hear it; my reasons being "well, that definitely explains a lot!"

MathGirl, elements of your story are similar to mine. I am too lazy too write as much as you have. I wish I knew when I was younger. Hopefully I can find my courage that I lost so long ago.

Some years ago my wife (then my gf) told me that I had AS. I flatly refused to accept the idea, and I was living in denial. I held the point of view that nothing was wrong with me and that it was not possible for me to have AS. Some time later when I found that I was not able to act like a NT at all times and in all places, I considered the idea of me having AS again.

I then discovered the idea of neurodiversity, and I continue to hold the view that “there is nothing wrong with me”. But at the same time I accepted that I might have AS. To me neurodiversity can be summed up as the idea that "just becuase I have AS, autism, NTism, XXX, AXY or alphabet soup does not mean that I am any less worthywhile as a human".

I took a few tests and I found that I was unlikely to be a NT. I then did some research and found that I matched the profile for AS almost perfectly. So I came to the conclusion that I have AS or a closely related state. This was around the time I joined WP. I came originally for urgent help and advice but I have now understood that no voice will come from the sky which gives you all the answers within a hour of joining WP, but here on WP I am starting to get some of the answers which are allowing me to make sense of who and what I am.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

I bicycled down to the local movie theatre for an early matanee, today. On the way I realized that I had passed a milestone in knowing myself autistic. Knowing that there was a deeper world out there that I had tried to make my senses attuned for. I resolved to start living conciously in the moment with how I thought it was, not how it fit into some other reality.

I bicycled down to the local movie theatre for an early matanee, today. On the way I realized that I had passed a milestone in knowing myself autistic. Knowing that there was a deeper world out there that I had tried to make my senses attuned for. I resolved to start living conciously in the moment with how I thought it was, not how it fit into some other reality.

sometimes ive no idea what or who i am.. i feel its so hard to express myself... its almost as if i only exixst in reflection of what or who i am around and the enviroment.. i cant tell where it starts and i end...

Having lived for 3 decades before finding out, I think I might be processing it to various degrees for the rest of my life.

The first stage of the process, before I'd learned anything, involved my GP referring me to secondary mental health services, which is uncommon. He had written to them mentioning my flat affect and that there might be something else going on. At the interview, I became afraid when hearing this and asked what they thought. They thought I just had anxiety issues, which I was relieved to hear, and later gave me psychoanalytic therapy for neurosis.

This was completely inappropriate and around this time I discovered AS and disengaged from the harmful treatment. I obsessed over AS for months before telling my GP, but he fully accepted it, which helped me to do so. I suffered much identity confusion for a year or so. A couple of years later, after seeing other professionals, it's starting to sink in. I'm still figuring out the implications for the future; I've pretty much covered the past.

I accepted it as soon as I got the diagnosis, having the diagnosis actually felt good for me.

At first I accepted it straight away but I then went through a phase of denial know I'm accepting it again.

I saw Aspies and thought "I like these guys, I understand them" then I started thinking, "Wait I'm like that, maybe that's me?". So it wasn't hard for me to accept it.


I wrote about me figuring it out here.