Us or them

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Everywhere I look I see us or them mentalities.
How can we pretend these lines exist, in which everyone is clearly defined as one or another.

How can I celebrate my individuality and avoid drawing lines between myself and others that only serve to exacerbate the already awkward reconciliation of our differences?

I am a human am I not?

I see much discussion about people being aspies and NTs.

Are we to promote the isolation of individuals through social ostracism due to emphasizing the overt distinctions?

I am grateful to know myself better, and to know that despite this pervading feeling of uniqueness I am not alone, however can I condone a view which only serves to divide further that which I wish to reconcile, namely being myself and society?

I don't think of other people as NT's, just that they are people without ASDs. Do I automatically dislike them because of this? Not at all. As far as I know I have never known another person with AS, irl so I assume people I have known are not AS and I have known plenty of jerks irl. It's us with AS who are often thought of as jerks but I think others were jerks before I was. They were jerks first.

I do my best to not use either Aspie or NT as terms relating to people. I try for "people with AS" or "people with Aspie tendencies" but I feel fairly strongly about avoiding outright labeling. It's probably because I have never neatly fit into any category (including AS, in fact... though it explains a lot about me).

I don't identify with either group since I don't even feel human.

An intelligent and thoughtful post.

I feel for you. I really do.

Having an observant, intelligent, analytic mind is often painful...

It is why I seek solitude.

.

A point is a dot, a singularity.
A line is a path, variation on a single theme.
A plane is a canvas, both hue and saturation expression.
A space is a musical phrase, containing timbre, tempo and dynamic contrast.
A person is infinitely more dense, endless slide rules and bells curves. One can reduce aspects of individuals or groups along a string, or even a few - but these do not define what we are. Only in understand how we all relate do we make progress.


M.

I agree. Welcome to WP. The whole us and them mentality is a flawed one that only serves to divide. No secrets there.
People are people. good and bad everywhere, and that includes real life and the net.

Yes.

I think we are.

What about people who could be half AS/NT traits or any number of variations in-between?

I've met plenty of those.

I think these categories can help simplify things in a rather complicated and confusing world. Not saying it's good or bad, just a part of human nature.

I have consistently defied labeling all of my life. I have never fit in neatly anywhere... even the AS/NLD criteria. And I kind of like it.

labelling groups in that way,is okay if it's just for comparing/being able to show the differences,it's when people start seeing one group as more equal or better than another that bring on the problems.

Eh, grouping, labeling and trying to fit everything into neat, little boxes is human nature. Only when we lose sight of the bigger picture do we risk shooting ourselves in the proverbial foot.

There will always be an "us vs them" mentality, there always has been. Despite it's obvious drawbacks it provides an insentive to make move forward and promotes teamwork. But it's important to always keep in mind that balance must be preserved and that each pawn has it's role in this game.

I've thought about that too. It does seem destructive to emphasize this sense of difference.

But as you might have gathered from the members, ending up ostracized at least sometimes is a typical experience for people with AS, and HFA. It seems it comes with the territory. Did the people on this board wake up one day and try to get shunned? No. Now that they find a multitude of others who've had the same experience, of course they have a "them and us" mentality.

Joshua, I would fly across the world five times over to meet you and give you a manly bearhug.

Finally, someone who understands!

You're exactly right. Everyone seeks to help "us" and exclude "them". It's a simple rule that dictates group behavior and drives history.

Once my anthropology professor handed out an assignment to the class: a sheet of paper with many pictures of individuals. He said "Draw lines to show where one race ends and another begins."

I drew no lines.

When everyone was done, the professor held up my paper and said "This is the right answer."

Moral of the story: Stop drawing lines. "They" are not as different from "us" as you think they are.

The world is too connected now to stay in this outdated clan mentality. The people who are able to get along with the people who used to be "them" are the ones who will succeed. Go forth and build bridges, Joshua.

Thank you for your replies.

Learning that I was an aspie was a major breakthrough for me, my whole life suddenly made sense and I can stop trying to fit in and also stop trying to fit out, so to speak.

I am happy to know that so many people are out there who like me know that labels, despite their use as intellectual tools, are not what we are and thus can never describe or summarize us.

Finding this site and myself, so to speak, has brought me more joy than I ever expected to have about who I am.