Wrong Planet

Barbara Bissonnette is the Principal of Forward Motion Coaching, and specializes in career development coaching for individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome. This is a sponsored article.

Since 2006, I have coached individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome on how to find and keep employment. My clients include young people who are entering the workforce, and individuals in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. Job seekers work with me to explore occupations, learn interviewing skills, and develop effective job search plans. Employed people need help addressing performance problems, improving their interpersonal communication skills, or planning how to disclose their Asperger’s Syndrome and request accommodations.

I wrote The Complete Guide to Getting a Job for People with Asperger’s Syndrome, and the Asperger’s Syndrome Workplace Survival Guide: A Neurotypical’s Secrets for Success to share ideas and strategies that my clients have used successfully. Here are my Top Ten Tips for getting a job and staying employed.

If you are looking for a job…

Like many individuals with autism, I’m prone to misplacing things. Unfortunately, I recently lost one of the worst things you can lose; my wallet. No one wants to endure a situation as such. What should someone who has AS do in a situation like this (but may feel overwhelmed with a blank stare)?

The easiest way to deal with this type of situation is not to lose things in the first place. Keeping your wallet in a specific pocket and always checking to make sure it’s there before leaving places is a good rule to prevent misplacing it. Another tip is to never take it out unless you need something from it. When you do take it out, immediately put it back in the pocket in which you keep it.

However, even if you try your best to keep track of it, you could still lose it. Here’s what to do if, like I did, you lose your wallet. . .

Maja Toudal is a student with Asperger's I met in Copenhagen, Denmark. Here are her tips for succeeding in your classroom.

I realize that not every part of this will be applicable in every country. We have different educational systems, and this is tailored to mine. This is meant as an inspiration to what you can do to make the student-teacher relationship go well from the beginning.

When I begin a new semester there’s a conversation I must repeat. Actually, it’s getting to the point where it’s more of a monologue. I have some diagnoses that make it difficult for me to be in a classroom, and while I do my best to deal with it, there are still a few things that will be affected.

I need a place – preferably always the same – on the first row, and away from the door. This allows me to create an imaginary sensory bubble around myself, the teacher and blackboard, which excludes the rest of the room. That way, I can pay attention in class. It is exhausting to do this, and to keep it up, but not as much as every other strategy I’ve tried.

Here's an excerpt from Pulitzer Prize winning NY Times reporter Amy Harmon's new ebook, "Asperger Love" that profiles Wrong Planet's "Autism Talk TV" co-hosts Jack Robison and Kirsten Lindsmith.

The first night he slept with her, entwined with her on his futon, Jack Robison regarded Kirsten Lindsmith with undisguised tenderness. She was the only girl to have ever asked questions about his obsessive interests—chemistry, libertarian politics, the small drone aircraft he was building in his kitchen—as though she actually cared to hear his answer.

To Jack, who was 19 and has a form of autism sometimes called Asperger syndrome, her mind was uncannily like his. She was also, he thought, beautiful. So far, they had only cuddled; Jack had hopes for something more. Yet when she smiled at him the next morning, her lips seeking his, he turned away. “I don’t really like kissing,” he said. Kirsten drew back. If he knew she was disappointed, he showed no sign.

In episode 24 of Autism Talk TV, Dr. Elizabeth Laugeson of UCLA's PEERS program gives alex tips on how to stop teasing. Unlike what you might have been told, just walking away is not the best way to diffuse teasing or a put-dow. In fact, sometimes walking away without saying anything can make things worse!

While it's never OK to be bullied, there's a difference between playful joking between friends and mean-spirited teasing. In either situation, the best thing to do is to discount what is being said by giving a sarcastic response such as "whatever." Tone is important in these situations. Please watch the video so you can understand how to implement these helpful social tools!

Also, after the episode, we have a very special interview from New York City that includes a sneak peek of John Elder Robison's new book, Raising Cubby! Check it out!

Douglas Baker is a wealth manager and parent of two adult children. His son Scott is 22 and is affected by Autism.

We live in a world that is fast-paced, high-tech, image driven and unforgiving, fueled by sensationalized media and reality television shows portraying what is now considered by many to be “normal”. Add to all of this a special needs newborn, child or adult in a family, and reality becomes a sub-world driven by a lifetime of challenges that require incredible commitment, compassion and persistence, as well as a lifespan of specialized planning and services. To thrive instead of simply survive as a family affected by special needs, it is important to have a socially integrated lifestyle with acceptance and great support groups, both personally and professionally.

Who are the special needs families? Families of genetic and birth conditions, or affected by Autism spectrum disorders, mental health and related illnesses, intellectually challenged and learning delayed, and physical or brain impairment though injury or trauma - a global microcosm of cultures that transcend race, religion, gender and the socioeconomic status.

Wrong Planet columnist Robert Naseef, Ph.D. is a psychologist with 20 years of experience and is the parent of an individual on the autism spectrum.

"It seems like every time the phone rings I jump." Not a week goes without a parent of a child with autism or another neurodevelopmental condition echoing these words in my office. Is it a phone call from a child's school asking that the child be picked up early because of a meltdown? Could it be another injury on the playground or in the classroom? Or has my child had another seizure? Otherwise, is a teacher reporting that many assignments have not been completed? Is it another bullying incident? All possibilities to be sure, but maybe it's not bad news after all, just a friend calling to say hi.

Autism Rights Watch grieves for the families of the Sandy Hook Elementary School and the community of Newtown, CT. We are devastated. Our wishes and condolences go to the many families affected. Our thoughts also go to the first responders who faced this horrific scene.

The news of the gunman massacre was an absolute shock. “Evil visited this community” said Connecticut Governor Dannel Malloy. 20 year-old Adam Lanza made a horrible individual choice. He decided to shoot four weapons, kill his mother, attack an elementary school and take his own life.

Alex Plank Learns how to join a social circle

In the second installment of Autism Talk TV's social skills series filmed at the UCLA PEERS center, Alex learns how to approach a group, find something common to talk about, and be accepted into a group. Hopefully this will show you guys how social skills are actually very easy once you know the language.

Making friends can seem hard but these tips will help you succeed. There are a lot of variations in body language that you can easily learn in order to join conversations. Dr. Liz Laugeson, the director of PEERS, walks Alex through these various topics in an easy to follow step-by-step tutorial.

Enjoy!

In this special episode of Autism Talk TV, Wrong Planet founder Alex Plank gives the keynote talk at the Speak Up and Speak Out Summit in Springfield, Illinois. As many of you are aware, Alex speaks at conferences all over the United States and all over the world in countries such as Denmark.

Unlike most of the conferences Alex speaks at, Speak Up and Speak Out isn't specific to Autism or Asperger's. In fact, the conference was attended by hundreds of people with all types of disabilities such as Down Syndrome, Williams Syndrome, Deafness, and physical disabilities. Parents and caregivers were in attendance as well.

For a full list of Alex's appearances, visit his website where you can also contact Alex to speak at your conference or event.

Living on your own might be something that you dream of achieving someday, but at the same time, the thought can be scary. You might even think it is impossible that you will live on your own. First, you need an income, and then after that you need the survival skills and street smarts to take care of yourself without anyone there to support you.

This guide will help prepare you for that transition so that someday you can live independently. This guide is not meant to be comprehensive but rather to offer you a few suggestions to help you along the way.

Step 1: Create a support network—We need people to be there for us and to also be honest with us and tell us how we can improve ourselves. Preferably, this network will extend beyond family members and include at least one close friend that you trust. Ultimately, when you are living on your own, you might encounter many obstacles you never thought of, especially obstacles of a social nature, and you will want someone there to be supportive of you and to help you as you navigate a life of independence.

Editorial Warning: Wrong Planet is a family-friendly site. However, the following article discusses adult topics involving sexuality and includes strong language. Parental discretion is advised.

      queer – adj. – (kwir)
      1: a: worthless, counterfeit
      b: questionable, suspicious
      2: a: differing in some odd way from what is usual or normal
      b (1): eccentric, unconventional (2): mildly insane: touched
      c: absorbed or interested to an extreme or unreasonable degree: obsessed
      d (1) often disparaging: homosexual (2) sometimes offensive
      3: not quite well

I am queer. Forget, for a moment, Chick-fil-a or that lovable character from Modern Family; focus, instead, on the definition printed above. What does Mr. Webster have to say? How do you measure up? Queer behavior would appear to be startlingly common.

In this episode of Autism Talk TV, I discuss flirting and dating with Dr. Liz Laugeson from UCLA's PEERS Program. This is the first episode of our social skills series we filmed at The Help Group. And the best part about this episode is that I demonstrate asking out a REAL girl!

Liz first walks me through the process of flirting which involves making eye contact, smiling, and then looking away right when the other person smiles and notices you.

Next we go over asking a girl or guy out on a date which involves finding a common interest and suggesting something that relates to that common interest. There's more to it but you'll have to watch to find out all the tips and tricks relating to body language, eye-contact, and what to say!

Watch the episode to learn about flirting and dating!

Why is it so hard for moms to take a break? What can fathers do to help?

First of all, struggling with taking a break from maternal responsibilities is normal. This is hard for the mothers of typical children—who presumably have a little less to be preoccupied about than mothers of children who have autism and other special needs.

So feeling overwhelmed by the enormous responsibilities of motherhood is normal, but when it goes on indefinitely, it’s not healthy for a mother or her family. And fathers tend to begin feeling left out and neglected. While I frequently write about fathers, I spend a good deal of my time as a psychologist listening to mothers. Almost invariably mothers seem to be relieved when they give voice to their struggles—particularly the guilt about not doing enough or missing something they should have done or thought about.

Read Mothers Day Hints for Men

The following column by Jeffrey Deutsch is part of his "It Gets Better" series on Wrong Planet.

One thing that Aspies so often suffer from is bullying. People picking on them, insulting them, vandalizing or stealing their stuff, even spitting on and hitting them when they can't fight back.

I've been there, done that and gotten the T-shirt.

One of the worst things about being bullied is the fear. Fear that something could happen at any time. Being afraid that everyone will see how weak you are.

Having no control over anything. Being *helpless*. And that happens with a great deal of bullying.

Read Bullying - You Have More Power Than You Think