Hi...

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I don't like to introduce myself especially in real life... I could never understand why I needed to tell things about me to people I didn't want to know !

I'm a 23 years old french boy who only recently heard about asperger. First I was sceptic... I thought suffering big Social Anxiety Disorder. I saw that as a child I had the characteristics from being gifted... But all of this didn't explain everything about me.

By reading first many "technical" things about Asperger I became more and more interested but couldn't accept that's my "problem" however so many things I saw were simply me ! And by discovering all of you people, the way you think, your difficulties, the child you have been... It's amazing but that's me !

Since a little child I feel different, I didn't want much meet other people but when I wanted to or was obligated to I simply couldn't understand how all of this works !

I did some progress but I still cannot begin a talk about something important, I still try not being alone with somebody I don't know very well ("friends" since 3 or 4 years ? I don't like being alone with them... when there are more people I can "get out" from the discuss, I don't like being the center from the attentions), I worked a lot about it but I still see I don't really look people into eyes I don't feel the need about it and it's some kind of frightening too, as child I played mostly alone and loved that, I didn't speak to strangers, people at school told me "dictionnary", I only wanted to play in a "realistic" way (size from the toy cars,...), can't stop my brain to think about, big need to understand everything. I feel bad outside because there are so many things that comes to me : people faces, music, crowd, every details... And so much other things...

I wanted to speak about that with my parents (however I don't live with since like 5 years...) but I have the feeling my mother don't want to accept it could be this... By being asked she told me and confirmed many strange things about my childhood but seems like she cannot understand that my functionning could simply be "different". Maybe because she never saw it ?!

I tried (and such things are hard for me !) to begin a speak about Asperger... What she said ? "What you need is a girlfriend... I know you've been happier when you had one !". Hey ! !! It's not only about being happy, it's about ever have feel different, it's about trying to understand why ! It's something fu**ing important for me ! I need to know ! !! It's not to cry about me... It's about understanding and fighting this culpability I ever had and still have inside of me for being not like other people ! !!

People always tell "you can trust me, if you have a problem or need to speek, I'm here...". Yeah, nice... But in facts they aren't listening...

Hi... Nice to meet you all people...

Bienvenus à WP!

Velkommen til WrongPlanet, håper du får en fin tid her

You'll find a lot of people here just like you. And we do listen if you say something.
A lot of us don't see our traits as "problems" they are simply what makes us, us.

Hi to you too.

Var inte elak mot honom, han förstår antagligen inte norska.
(Även om han antagligen förstår andemeningen.)

Thank you all ! See I will learn many languages here...

At time my "particularities" are "problems" for me, or more : the fact that I try to be like others people without good results is the problem. Those times I try to catch back who I ever was... Strop trying beat my "differences" (that are mostly good things I think !) but simply assume the way I am !

As child I didn't care too much upon the bad things some other childs did to me : back in my world, alone, I nearly forgot all of this. By becoming older I thought I could/would become like others find more interesting people, but I learned that communication (particulary verbal) and human relations still weren't my things... By trying become "normal" (and showing to others : I'm normal) I have temporary lost since a few years my particular way to be happy without to gain anything (but losing grip, becoming depressed !).

By discovering about Asperger I think that I will at least get some part of my self-confidence back !

(pfiou I wrote too long again ! don't really like to speak but love to write... however I never learned much english !)

Welcome, Madfrenchy, to the Wrong Planet community.

Hi Madfrenchy, welcome I use to watch my son do as you say and never realized I did also, blurt out my life story to unknown strangers... it was like a need to over explain, think, analyze all at once, offload my thoughts... we both discovered aspergers together really, never easy at first, especially as how ever much you try to explain at times to some, they just have no idea and many it seems wish to stay ignorant, but the one thing that has made a difference is places like Wrong Planet, as you will find your really not alone as you have know gained a whole new cyber space community and it can be on your terms

It's exactly that ! 99% of time I don't speak about me at all, because I don't want or don't know how, but sometimes I simply really need to... ! At those times it's all coming out at the same time... I try to explain the way I am, the way I feel, the reasons for my mistakes...

I know it's difficult for other people to behave with this and to understand some things... That's why I forgive them all very fast ! (I can't understand people however I'm listening everytime they need... why being too angry that they cannot understand me ?)

You write like a native English speaker.

Thanks lelia !

For sure !

In facts it's so strange to think I could be an "Aspie" but when thinking about there are so many similarities between my experience and Asperger Symptoms, between me and what I'm reading here !

Will try to find the courage to take the necessary steps to get a diagnose...

To WrongPlanet!! !

Thank you richie. I like your avatar !

Its fairly common to think that we'll grow into being normal. It can be a liberating thing to find out how things really are, and learn from there. Your english skills should improve a lot during your time here

Welcome.

Last evening I decided to change my profile into "Have Asperger - undiagnosed" and this morning my mother phoned me to say that after having read about Asperger she thought it's right, it's what I have, that by learning about she understood many things about my all life...