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Hey, I am kind of weirded out today. My mother, who is a councilor suggested over dinner I may have Asperger's syndrome. Suggestion including a computer print out of pages relating and the book Look Me In the Eye complete with a book mark part way through suggesting to the amount of thought she gave this topic. I am 26 years old, I feel either I should take this seriously or my relationship with my mother needs better communication. Its not completely out of the realm of possibility that I have Asperger's but I feel I would be more successfully described as an eccentric iconoclast then autistic. I can not relate to some of the symptoms on the Wikipedia page. I do not believe a diagnosis could be expected on a message board but I feel like I have a journey without a road and it might be beneficial talk to others.

In a way it would be nice to know there where other people with similar life experiences as me. In fact it would be liberating to find a group of people who experience the world in a similar manner as I do. Even if I remain unconvinced of the diagnosis. Anyway any advice or anecdotes would be appreciated. I don't know if that is the proper way to introduce myself but I have been drinking tonight.(Justifiably, I believe.) Also I am curious to hear from people who have been diagnosed how useful it was to them. I mean on one hand a definition is a useful way to understand and classify but also a definition could be used as a way of dismissing the legitimacy of my world view. I feel insomnia setting in.

Well, i'll preface this by saying that i'm not medically diagnosed.

I've seen two things in the Aspie World:

1) Books, Films, etc regarding *examples* of aspies do not typically do justice to the true depth and realm of Asperger's. It is impossible to compare yourself to one, two, or three Aspies and say "yeah that's me." However, considering you've scanned the Wiki page, i'll get to point two:

2) From what i've seen so far... A good majority of Aspies, the moment they read info on the disorder, immediately KNOW it's them. Tears are involved, as we discover that we are NOT just a sad-sack combination of depression, adhd, ocd, anxiety, phobias and what have you. Those are all secondary to Asperger's. I could very easily ramble here, but i won't.

As i said, i'm not medically diagnosed, but these are my observations nonetheless.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome greetings to the Wrong Planet community, Tautfortame.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Wow, that's exactly how I used to describe myself before I was diagnosed.

First, I would encourage you to understand that an atypical brain function need not be thought of as a DISEASE. It can be a social handicap, to be sure, but it doesn't make one a Quasimodo.

I couldn't guess whether or not you have AS, but I get the feeling you're terrified that if you do it means something awful has happened. If you do, then you've been living with it all your life and seem to have gotten on pretty well so far, so why the panic?

I didn't find out what Asperger Syndrome was until I was 45, wasn't diagnosed until 49. Personally, it was liberating and validating to find that the qualities that had set me apart from my peers all those years weren't personal defects, but an alternate wiring schematic that gave me that 'eccentrically iconoclastic' point of view. A different lens through which to view the world. Not radically different, just...skewed.

Second, if your own mother thinks AS is a fairly accurate description of you, I think you should at least take the possibility seriously - she has been observing you from a perspective you don't have, for a very long time. Doesn't mean she's right, necessarily, but trying being open to the possibility. As I said, it wouldn't be a tragedy in any case. It was people close to me who first showed me a webarticle on AS and said "Read this, it sounds like you".

Difference for me was, I recognized myself immediately - though looking over the DSM, I did at first think some of the symptoms described did not apply to me, I realized later it was just the phrasing of the text that was confusing - the authors were trying to be so dry and academic that their words were misleading. "Sees lights and hears sounds others do not" doesn't mean hallucinations - it means a slight hypersensitivity to small sounds and subtle changes in lighting. Also keep in mind the DSM was written for diagnosing AS in children - adults with AS have had years to adapt coping mechanisms to compensate and may not present symptoms in quite the same way.

Give it time. Hang out here and get to know the regulars. You'll find that being autistic doesn't automatically make you Raymond Babbit*. Most Aspies are indistinguishable from the crowd (except we're the ones avoiding the crowd ), until you've been around us for quite some time. We're the chameleons of the autistic spectrum - just enough autism to cause us problems fitting in smoothly in social situations, but not enough to be branded with a visible handicap. It's a blessing/curse thing, but some people have it (life) a lot worse.

Just keep an open mind. Even an eccentric iconoclast needs other eccentric iconoclasts to hang out with - otherwise who'll get your acerbic observations? Whatever you decide your particular situation may or may not be, you're welcome on WP. It might even come to feel like home.

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*Yeah, definitely. Definitely not Ramond Babbit. I'm an excellent driver.

Thanks for the reception everyone. I really appreciate your comments. Its an odd bit to piece together. I actually work as a bartender so I do not consider myself to have social phobia although I certainly did at one time in my life. I do get agro feeling but I have developed mechanisms for social contact with just about anyone.

As a kid I had ticks, was endlessly picky to the point of being unwilling to eat, shy, and awkward socially. I was at the top of the class on tests but only rarely if ever could bring myself to do homework. I feel these traits hardly describe me today. Would it be uncommon for someone to have had and then grown out of Asperger's? Because I can relate to many of the feelings mentioned on this board as I remember them however I don't manifest them any longer or if I do it is at a much diminished intensity. Is this similar to anyone else s experience?

I think it's common to go through cycles during different periods of life. I've gone through periods, sometimes lasting for half a decade or more, when I was functioning so well and feeling so confident that even an expert would probably have missed most of my autistic tells. At my age, I've learned a great many ways of doing what I have to do to fit in and get by, but it still comes at the cost of a high level of internal stress. Other times, I can be completely overwhelmed and at a total loss as to how to function and juggle the responsibilities at hand.

I think my abilities to fake being neurotypical peaked somewhere between the ages of 25 and 40. For about fifteen years I was getting on pretty normally. Then it seemed to gradually slip away, until now I feel about as capable of functioning as an adult as I did at 17.

Thanks for the reply Willard. Do you mind me asking, was there a catalyst for you returning social phobia? I remember the anxieties I used to have and do not wish to return to that state again. Is there a lesson to be grasped? Diet and exercise? I have found my own identity in social contact, I do not feel like I am impersonating a different person. Did you?

Hello, welcome.

No, I've never felt I was playing a different character, so to speak, but sometimes it's painfully obvious to me that others in a particular social situation are perfectly relaxed and at ease with whatever is going on, and I'm self-consciously pretending I know how to act, or deal with the situation - while internally I feel as stressed as if I were walking a high-wire between two skyscrapers. One wrong move and everyone else will see that I have no idea what I'm doing and either derisively laugh at me or become angry and irritated at my incompetence.