Hi and some questions about Aspergers

Post Reply New Topic

Hello. My name is Tom and I am a 43 year old male.

I just learned about Aspergers Syndrome about a week ago. I think I actually had heard the name of this condition before in the context of reading about autism but for some reason I never really looked at it closer. Anyway, I have been officially diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and bi polar disorder (actually I suggested a correction of my initial diagnosis of schizophrenia to bi polar disorder because what I experienced was more like a one-off manic episode brought on by too much coffee and a strong obsession and my doctor agreed) but I believe neither of these diagnosis are really accurate.

I was thinking that maybe what I have is Avoidant personality disorder however I am struck by what little I have read of Aspergers as it seems very close to my experience. My main symptom is totally an inability to function socially and just social awkwardness and anxiety as a result of it (and depression). I have always been like this. I have improved a little bit... but anything new and I just stress and I can't do it. I have very little experience with romantic relationships as a result. I usually have never had more than one friend at a time.

So, I guess I am posting this to see if anyone thinks this sounds like aspergers (I've read that aspergers is going to be off'ed as a term and is just going to be considered like an autism lite).

In addition to the social interaction problem I also do have a problem connecting emotionally with people though I wouldn't say that I am totally unempathetic. I think i can appear this way though. But I do try and consider others feelings and I do feel sorry for people and I do cry at sad movies...

I have a pretty good imagination. I can get deeply into fantasies almost like I am there. I can remember things from 25 years ago like I was there and experience the same feelings. This can be painful.

I do tend to sort of give speeches (though less now) and I do tend to become obsessed on narrow subjects and sometimes it is cyclical.

Does any of this sound like aspergers or can anyone relate?

I've read that some believe that this can be due to milk and wheat protein (and yeast) allergies/intolerances. I did have a very severe allergy (an intolerance really) to milk when I was little. It went away but I suspect the effect may have just changed.... I don't know. I have kept off it for a little while and I do feel better off it but then I crave it and give in. I'm not sure if it is a factor. I have never been able to stay off wheat long.

How do you deal with Aspergers?

Are there any good books out there on how to socialize and interact correctly for people with this problem?

Thanks!

Last edited by TomTee on 13 Jan 2010, 11:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome to WP. A lot of the social difficulties you describe sound like characteristics of AS to me. There is a lot of debate regarding the milk/wheat connection to AS. I tend not to favor the connection, though I do believe eliminating them from your diet can have positive effects. I went almost a year gluten-free and noticed my depression diminished, though none of my other "quirks" did. Anyway, welcome to WP.

Thanks BonusPoints. I think I may eliminate the milk as I do feel better off it... less stiff and more clearheaded...I just crave it after a while.. need more discipline I suppose.

I just took a look at the aspergers description page on this site and this describes me pretty well. I've been trying to find a condition that includes an "unusual preoccupation with a particular subject to the exclusion of other activities".... kind of like an obsession... through online research but all you run into is OCD, which is not what I have. And I have often taken a figure of speech literally (that can be painful too - lol). Definitely have the clumsy motor movements, though taking walks and sitting less helps with that.

Very interesting. It's great to discover all of this.... makes me feel that I am not this way because of something I am doing wrong (though I guess I cannot totally preclude a food reaction as a contributing cause) and that it is a result of being born this way and I should accept it and work with it.

I went through the same thing in a matter of weeks but I immediatly ruled out Bipolar and Schizo because I have never had a Hallucination or Delusion in my life. Heck, I have never even vomitted in my life and I don't plan on it in the future. But anyway, even though I don't have an official diagnosis yet, you sound just like me and I understand what you are going through.

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

Hi Ztower.

I did have a manic-psychotic episode requiring hospitalization many years ago (the psychiatrist there disgnosed it as schizophrenia). What happened was, at the time, I was drinking a lot of coffee, which I am very sensitive to. Nowadays, I can only have like 50 mg of caffeine a day, any more and I am feeling anxious all day or worse. Also at the time, I was obessesed with a certain "body work" discipline. Between the coffee and the obsession, I wasn't sleeping, and after a few days of this I was in psychotic land. Not violent or anything but completely delusional, racing thoughts etc. It was hell. I actually can remember it very well... what the psychotic state was like. The reason I was interested in the body work was I was trying to improve my coordination and stiffness... my body mechanics... (problems with which appears can be part of aspergers). Anyway, the psychosis cleared up for the most part with two days of sleep at the hospital though I stayed there a month.

It may be that I have a BP tendency in addition to AS.... but I believe it is mild if that. The real problem I am thinking is struggling against the AS symptoms... which has been a struggle for me. I have always fought but not made much progress.... especially socially. I can still get anxious if I have to interact with people that I have known for years.

Thanks Jpeg!

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Hi Tom

Where did you read that?

I'm curious because I was first diagnosed before AS was an official DSM diagnosis in the US, so they just described it as "a high-functioning form of autism, kind of like something that may be called 'Aspersper's Syndrome' at some point in the future." In other words, they gave me a vague HFA / AS diagnosis because so few "high-functioning" kids were being diagnosed at the time, especially girls.



Yeah, I can relate to that in a general sense. I suspect I experience more empathy than most people, but I am very awkward about expressing it in a lot of situations. It's hard to explain because it varies depending on the situation (it's always complicated in adults who have spent a long time trying to adapt to society's expectations).

I have always had a very big imagination. I know that lack of imagination is 1 diagnostic criteria, but by definition, you needn't lack an imagination to be diagnosed with AS / HFA. I know that my early childhood records say "high-functioning autistic, and very imaginative," or something like that.

I also tend to either be too quiet, conversationally, or talk for too long at a time (especially if one of my interests comes up). But I'm more "normally" social one-on-one than in groups. I can be pretty normal because I've had a lot of time to work on my social skills and such.

I also have a really clear and detailed memory - especially of things that happened early in my life. I get the impression that this is a common trait in people on the spectrum.




I recommend emphasizing its advantages, embracing your eccentricity, and finding out exactly what things are holding you back socially, and work on them.

The social skills thing can be difficult, and can take some time. Or it can be as simple as remembering that you have to say hi to someone you know each time you see them.

There's no book that I know of. Honestly, I learned a lot from this site, and from people who (probably unknowingly) gave me useful constructive criticism irl. For instance, I wasn't aware that I had stiff posture and avoided eye contact until someone pointed it out to me when I was 25. Since then, I've worked on the eye contact thing, and gotten better at making conversation, but my posture is still weird-looking to most people.

It's hard to change everything. You'll probably always seem a bit "different" to most people, but if you're aware of this, you'll be able to handle it better.

Stick around and ask questions as you think of them.

- rtb

Hi release the bats. Thanks for all the info.

Regarding Aspergers possible removal from the DSM, check out here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

Take a look under "classification".

Yeah I think as well that I experience more empathy than most but am basically ret*d with expressing it. Sometimes I feel that I am very oversensitive. Imagination-wise, my imagination is really good in relation to fantasy. Like little escapes. Even when I was a little kid I would just escape to my own world. I don't know it that really is a "good imagination".... more like an ability to immerse myself in a self created place and really feel it. And I can sort of experience past experiences again too through remembering them.

Yeah I have always gotten a "you are different" but I think most people have liked me. So I guess they wern't kidding about me being special or different, lol. I have always blamed myself for being like this... like I am doing something wrong or not doing something right. Good to know that it may be an inborn challenge.

Good to know that there are others. Funny this whole aspie business... like we are aliens or something Cool.

Last edited by TomTee on 16 Jan 2010, 4:30 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Actually, never mind. I have corrected the post above with the right info.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I had considered that I may have avoidant personality disorder, which is basically a severe form of social anxiety/social phobia.

With apsergers, do people often feel (in addition to being unable to interact normally) fearful of being in social situations, feeling superself conscious? What sold me a little on AVPD is that i tend to do heavy interpersonal monitoring (hallmark of avdp) when interacting with people ... paying extreme attention to their reactions and my own reactions (while not looking them in the eye)...creating an awkwardness and difficulty in paying attention to the topic. It takes tremendous energy and is very stressful. In other words, can a self esteem issue develop out of say a core of some autistic type condition?

Perhaps these things can coexist or one my cause the other? I know I have always felt a lot of shame being this way when little... I was also bullied.... I guess its all just a bunch of labels.

One last question - do aspies look unusually young for their age?

I look about 20 years younger than I am. I have had difficulties buying beer even with ID.
People have remarked about it a lot thinking it very odd. Just curious...

Hello Tom, welcome,

I look 10 years younger than I am, but I don't think it is related to my Asperger's.

Enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

Hi Scientist.

Yeah you have a young and cuteish look, with nice glowy skin (sorry).

Thanks for the welcome.

Welcome TomTee. You will find lots of first-person advice out there if you Google Aspergers + "Social Skills"

Welcome to the Aspie family.

Lest you get down about the diagnosis, a quote that encourages me is: Aspies "are a bright thread in the rich tapestry of life. Civilization would be...dull and sterile" without them—Atwood

Thank you