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My name is Matt. I'm 27 years old and have undiagnosed Asperger's. I only found out about AS a few years ago when one of my friends at the time made a comparison between myself and "Rain Man" while playing cards. I looked up Autism and found information about the spectrum, specifically Asperger's and did almost obsessive levels of research on it over the next month. The stories I read about others' experiences were so similar to my own that I could have written them myself, and when my mother read them, she actually started crying (I don't know the exact reason why, but I think it's because they explained so much about me that I simply didn't know.) Shortly thereafter, I had an appointment set up to be evaluated. The results were "inconclusive" and I never got a second opinion, but I'm pretty sure another psychologist would agree with me.

Now for the sad part. I talked to my circle of friends about it, and for a little while they seemed, or at least said, that they would support me, but not long after, they all started treating me like I had some horrible disease and eventually abandoned me. I still hear from some of them occasionally, but haven't even talked to the rest for a few years now.

Two years ago, I met someone online, and we became really close very quickly. We talked about everything, and for the longest time, spent several hours of every day together online playing games, watching movies and just enjoying each other's company. We were best friends. I wanted more, and she knew it, but I never pressured her. About a year ago, she started missing our time to talk, making excuses, and breaking promises. I never suspected anything was wrong, so after a few weeks of this I confronted her, and she told me she was backing off to discourage my feelings for her. She told me how some of my behavior made her uncomfortable, and I immediately stopped that behavior. Eventually she started warming up to me again, to the point that I thought she was developing similar feelings for me. Long story short, she was lying to me, had been in a relationship for over a year, and instead of telling me this, she led me on, lied to me, and made me think we had a relationship. In the end, she told me she didn't want that kind of relationship with someone so "damaged" and completely cut off all contact.

That was earlier this year. Since then, I've been really depressed and lonely, and unable to really express it. I found WrongPlanet among more technical links when I googled "Asperger's Relationships" and figured it might be good to at least try to connect with people like me.

Sorry to go on for so long, I just had alot to say and just had to get it out.

Hope that you can find some solace in our little corner of insanity.

Welcome,

We do know about that stuff.

Howdy

Letting others that really haven't been around you a lot and I mean really a lot, like your Mom, well they can't understand. It can be a really long process, well for me it has been, to get them to grasp it. I think my parents would have had much the same reaction as your mother. My wife did one of those "OMG!!" moments while we took the aspie test, I needed help doing it. She understands the basics, but still doesn't really understand what all goes into it. But that's ok, I have terms I can use now to at least give her a glimpse of what is happening to me in a given moment. As to others, well, my friendships tend to go like this. We meet, we relate and we move on. It's a good thing, as I think most of those that I can catch a bond with are probably in my spectrum to begin with. For the most part, I just don't say anything about it, not ashamed, far from it, but, why bother, puts me through stuff I'd rather not and they never really understand it anyway.

Online relationships, well, the net is very real, those that think it isn't have no right to live. I try to remember that it is very often anonymous, which in a lot of ways, is a very good thing. It's like we can come out as we are and not be judged by the neighbors, not that I care anymore. But it's the very nature of anonymous that allows some to be other then what they really are, like an escape. I don't blame them, life can toss some nasty curve balls. We've fielded more then our share and we find that someone we can relate to, it can go down just like you have said. You won't agree with everyone here, but you'll find more then a few you very well might. This wonderful group has a very keen eye to those that are roleplaying.

Time to lift some of the burden, you'll like it here.