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Hello there. I am a new member of the site.

I have always been a very socially awkward person, but I have dealt with it for the 22 years of my life

I didn't know what Asperger's was until someone on another forum said that they had it, and my husband I were curious and looked up what it was, symptoms, etc. He saw the page first and said within 10 seconds of reading it "I seriously think you might have this... every single thing it's said thus far has been true for you".

So a year later, I've done some more research but being the poor college student I am, I have not had the chance to visit a doctor or whoever it is you visit about these things to get diagnosed or not. Now that I know what the syndrome is, though, I have no doubt in my mind that I have at least a mild case of it.

People, even strangers, often tell me to "cheer up" because I have so few facial expressions. I've also been accused of being rude or inconsiderate when I am completely unaware of what the person is talking about. Other than when I got stuck in a leadership position in high school and thrown into popularity because of it, I have never had more than 2-3 people I could call "friends". I often feel like I'm good friends with someone, but then find out they don't feel the same way. I had this problem really bad my freshman year in college.

At this point in my life, I consider my husband and my sister friends... everyone else is just an acquaintance, or an "old friend" that I just can't seem to keep up with.

I guess overall I have a very hard time expressing any emotions at all, as well as a very hard time detecting anything but extreme emotions in others.

I'd like to eventually go to a doctor and be diagnosed (or not diagnosed) just to have an answer, you know?

Anyway, that's my intro. I look forward to reading the experiences of others!

Nice to meet you, Kirska.

Welcome to WP ! !

Feel free to look around, poke about, check the various threads, and otherwise make yourself to home ! !!

Hi Krista,

Welcome to the forum, I'm new here too

In answer to your question, 'do I need a diagnosis?', I think you should ask yourself, 'What do I need it for?'

We on the spectrum love lists and well defined points and tend to gloss over things that are more woolly and open to interpretation. Did you, like me, and I'm sure, many others, look at the DSM for aspergers and tick off many of the traits described in criteria A and B, then gloss over Criterion C on account of it being too vague.

When it comes to your question, I believe that this is the important part so I'll reproduce it here:

'C. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social,
occupational, or other important areas of functioning.'

Remember, we are what we are and adding a label doesn't change that. What the label does is it allows the mechanisms of society to recognize us as being eligible for help if we need it.

I have met many self-diagnosed aspies who have ticked all the boxes for criteria A and B yet they have jobs, girlfriends/boyfriends, a social life and just about everything else anyone could ask for. Where is the clinically significant impairment?

So how is it for you? Is there a clinically significant impairment for which you need help? If you got yourself the official label, would the help be available? Would you use it? Do you need it?

Getting a label for the sake of being able to know what you are is to confuse symbol with reality. You ARE what you ARE, and incidentally, you are perfect, in my humble opinion.

I got myself the label and it didn't get me any official help. Knowing that I am aspergers and therefore what to google for if I needed to know more about myself or find others like me was a help, sure, but the actual diagnosis hasn't made one bit of difference. From what I can see, it just took up the time of a very busy psychiatrist. I can't help feeling that others may have needed his time more that me.

Having said that, it's probably in all our interests for us all to be officially diagnosed because the more of us there are, the more money the establishment is likely to allocate toward services for us. So maybe there's an argument for getting diagnosed even if it won't lead to direct help for you.

Li

Welcome to WP!

Li,

Thanks for that response, I appreciate it.

I have a husband, a job, etc. I guess for me the "impairment" is simply the lack of being able to maintain daily communication with people around me.... or maybe a simpler way of putting it is the lack of being able to carry a conversation with an average person.

People try to make small talk, and I just don't know what to say or how to say it and it bothers me. But then again, I don't know how having a "label" would help that. You help put things into perspective

Welcome stranger.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome to WP!

Your story sounds a lot like mine OP. Cept, it was my brother I was researching.

Welcome to WP. I hope you find people who can help you learn the live with the knowledge that you aren't really wrong, just different.

Welcome Kirska,

If you want to know if you've got Aspergers or not but don't want to bother with a diagnosis, you should check out the aspie quiz. It's quite accurate.

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

You might also learn a bit from my blog (see my footer).