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Prksrbrt
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28 Jul 2010, 1:13 am

What's with Coworkers and patting me on the back? I tell them I prefer not to be touched and I know they mean no harm, but today at work I helped a fellow coworker and he decided to pat me on the back, and it just made me freeze, tense up, and I had a sensation like when all your hairs stand up on your neck and you get cold in my back. Also they know I don't like to shake hands, I have to wash my hands everytime someone shakes my hand, I prefer fist bumps because they are less contact than handshakes. So why do they reach for a handshake almost everyday? Sorry for the rant.



hartzofspace
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28 Jul 2010, 6:44 am

Probably because your preferences makes no sense to them, so they choose to discard them. I have had this happen in doctor's offices. They always want to shake hands, as if we were at a social function or job interview or something. I have become bolder about saying I am autistic, and prefer minimal touch. Bad enough there will be prolonged physical touch during the exam, then they want to add handshaking. :( I hate the way my hand feels after shaking that of someone else. When I was at college, if I explained to someone that I didn't like to be touched, they would immediately turn it into a huge joke, and touch me! :x


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Jaythefordman
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29 Jul 2010, 12:02 am

Yeah, I'm not a huge fun of public touching, but handshakes are considered very important, especially in Russia, and its something that I now just do however its it automatic.

While working in Malaysia I had to very quickly get used to the level of touching you get from coworkers. Between men its totally normal to hold your arm, have arm around/on shoulders while speaking, and this freaked me out early on, then quickly realised its just the done thing and they wouldn't be doing it if they didn't accept me. Just got on with it after a bit.



ColdBlooded
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02 Aug 2010, 2:13 pm

I don't mind handshakes so much, but the unexpected things like someone patting me on the back are very annoying... It makes me kind of stop and often shiver. I can tolerate a little bit of it, but if it happens over and over again it makes me start getting jumpy and anxious. I tell people i don't like it, but they must forget or something....



mesona
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10 Aug 2010, 11:16 am

Do what I did. Fake a skin problem. But like glue on the back of your hand. When you see someone is about to touch you show it to them and say " sorry, I Am getting it looked at next Friday" just doing once or twice they will never touch you again. Even after it clears up.


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OddFiction
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10 Aug 2010, 4:16 pm

Had a coworker do this to me one day. Gave me a 'wet willie' - stick a wet finger in your ear.
To simplify the story, I'll just say it was traumatic for everyone involved, and they never looked at me the same ever again.