Can't stick up for myself
17 Jun 2006, 1:49 am
I have a problem, probably caused by Asperger's, at work that causes me a lot of grief.
I simply cannot stick up for myself. If two different people ask me to do different things, I will just say yes to both of them, instead of telling one or the other that I cannot do what they are asking (I'm 18 and currently work at Wal-Mart in the foods department by the way). I let my managers boss me around, and I can easily complain to other co-workers about it (sometimes too much and it causes me grief later on) but when it comes time to stick up to my boss, I cannot do it.
In some fields of work, you wouldn't want to stick up to your boss, ever. But in retail, when you have 5 bosses all telling you to do 5 different things, you simply have to stick up for yourself, but I can't. Then I get angry, and it builds up inside of myself until I can barely take it anymore.
Does anyone know any ways I can help alleviate or work around this problem? Anyone else have the same problem as I do?
17 Jun 2006, 4:27 am
I'd keep a list of what I've got to do and how long it is going to take and each time a boss gives you something new, just ask them where it fits in the list, ie which you should do first. If you just say yes, they will think you weren't busy. If you don't do what they asked they will think you are lazy.
However if you ask them which thing has priority, they will feel important for having to make a decision.
Keep track of which boss reprioritizes what, and let the other boss that gave you the whatever that got de-prioritized that you won't be able to start it until you have the other stuff done. Or ask the boss that repriorized the work to tell the other boss.
Be aware that some work may require other work to be completed first and that might sort your priorities out for you rather than dropping everything for the higher level bosses. Some work they give you might be just stuff that needs doing sometime and they thought you weren't busy. Always look busy. Watching each boss as they go past, will make you look like you're not busy and you'd like more work.
17 Jun 2006, 4:43 am
Well, the thing with Wal-Mart is, it is so disorganized that the Managers fight amongst themselves about what needs to be done, and they all think their own stuff has priority, so it makes your suggestion incredibly difficult to implement. Most people just give up and become lazy, or else quit, because of it.
Safeway was a lot easier....everything was so much more co-ordinated and easy to follow there. Here, it's like a free-for-all. Everyone (which obviously includes NTs) complains constantly because you always get pulled in 10 different directions, and no matter what you do, you get yelled at. However, because I can't stand up for myself, I have it worse than most other people do.
I'm planning on just quitting. It seriously is not worth what they are willing to pay you.
Most people just yell right back at the Managers, I really wish I wasn't such a chicken that I could do the same, it would feel good, and it's not like I'm planning on making a career there. Hell, they don't even give out references.
17 Jun 2006, 11:10 am
I've heard about wallmart.
My favourite thing I heard is that they primarily set up in cheaper neighbourhoods selling really cheap chinese crap - and consequently put a large number of USA manufacturers out of business. And now the former factory workers that live in the wallmart neighbourhoods, cannot afford to shop at wallmart. This was outlined in "Fast Food Nation".
So given that this is how it is, and you plan to quit anyway, see if you can figure out who the reasonable bosses are, you can be honest with them. The others, just agree with them, don't write down what work they give you (or don't admit to writing it down), and make your own decisions about what needs doing next. I think in the absence of other factors, I'd be going very strictly sequentially. The first job I get is the first job I do. Alternately you can just do the quick easy jobs first. Or you can mix it up a bit. Do a longish difficult job then a short easy quick job. Keep a list of what work you do and who gave it to you so they can't call you lazy. Not that this seems like a reason to be sacked there anyway.
If anyone gets mad at you for not doing the work, apologise, and say you will do it next, and agree with everything they say. It is hard to keep yelling at someone who is agreeing with you. Then do what you want ie your choice from the list. This way is the least stress for you.
