Will making good, lasting connections be hard for me?

Post Reply New Topic

I have a mild autism spectrum disorder and I worry this will negatively impact my professional success.

I mostly suck at small-talk, noticing cues, and maintaining conversations when I get bored with them. I'm often so anxious at the prospect of social interaction that I avoid it altogether.

If I have regular and intensive social skills therapy combined with CBT for anxiety, will it still be hard for me to proactively forge strong, lasting professional and personal ties? Will I be less successful in my endeavors, overall, as compared to people with excellent social intelligence? You know the old adage, "it's not what you know, but who you know..."

I plan on becoming a robotics designer.

I think it will be harder for you but not impossible. Some of my strongest connections came from work where I met people and formed good relationships. The cool thing is that in your chosen field you can become adept at a specific area and then be sought out for help/networking/intelligent conversation.

One particularly Aspergian person I worked with made a lot of money and developed great relationships with people because he was a kick-butt mathematician. When the company went under he had little trouble finding a new job via his network.

The thing I had to learn was that when a connection did not pan out, or even worse I formed an anti-connection (rubbed people the wrong way) it was not the end of the world. I would simply analyze what went wrong and try to improve. I also used humor very well which helped though I had to fight the image that I was not serious enough.

And it is likely that you will be working with someone else on the Spectrum. It does not guarantee that you will be friends but it does not hurt either.

+1

The hardship for people with AS is in "networking." The making of social connections to advance your career options. I have only made friendships with people I can connect with. Often, the people who will "accept" me don't have the ability to open doors for me, or would honestly not do so because they don't feel I'd be right for the doors they could open. I've always looked down on "networking" because what I plainly see are a bunch of NT people being duplicitous in an effort to win over people they otherwise have no use for for the chance that it will get them a job opening, a promotion, etc.

I've been used enough times that I won't do that myself, and it's a key reason I struggle to get ahead. I could join any number of social organizations in my local community in an effort to get ahead in life, but I honestly have no interest in what they are into and I'd be faking it. I can only imagine how they would perceive my actions.