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RushKing
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29 Oct 2011, 3:39 pm

My mom thinks it's my fault I don't have a job, and compares me to my younger sisters who have gotten them. The job interview just seems like a tool to weed out socially undesirable people. Why cant people hire based on merits? I have volunteered at marshals, panera, and the district education center. But that means absolutely nothing to these people. Now I am going to be in huge debt when I get out of College. Sorry I have Autism?



Chronos
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29 Oct 2011, 5:32 pm

RushKing wrote:
My mom thinks it's my fault I don't have a job, and compares me to my younger sisters who have gotten them. The job interview just seems like a tool to weed out socially undesirable people. Why cant people hire based on merits? I have volunteered at marshals, panera, and the district education center. But that means absolutely nothing to these people. Now I am going to be in huge debt when I get out of College. Sorry I have Autism?


Unfortunately there are a lot of older individuals who are put of touch with the difficulties young people face in this economy today, and many people do not understand the additional difficulties that those on the spectrum face when trying to obtain a job.

Keep a record of all the jobs you apply to so that you can show your mother you're trying. Refrain from activities that might convey lazyness, such as playing video games, watching anime, or sitting on the computer all day, and utilize your college's career center frequently and attend infosessions.



freebird1987
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05 Nov 2011, 3:06 pm

My mom seems to think it's my fault that I can't find a job that I'm qualified for. Everything seems to have an emphasis on social skills nowadays.



shrox
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05 Nov 2011, 3:09 pm

RushKing wrote:
My mom thinks it's my fault I don't have a job, and compares me to my younger sisters who have gotten them. The job interview just seems like a tool to weed out socially undesirable people. Why cant people hire based on merits? I have volunteered at marshals, panera, and the district education center. But that means absolutely nothing to these people. Now I am going to be in huge debt when I get out of College. Sorry I have Autism?


Tell them you can't move out until you are old enough to drink, that gives you two years...



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Nov 2011, 3:20 pm

Let's switch places. In the middle-east, there's no such thing as 'over 18 should move out'.

However once you get a job, still unmarried and you're the oldest son then you would be the 'man of house', meaning that all responsibilities such as running errands and paying bills would be on you. Besides, it's culturally shameful to put elders in elderly-care places, so if you have a sick old parent or grandparent, he/she's your responsibility too.

So yea, you're screwed in both places.



Sweetleaf
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05 Nov 2011, 5:10 pm

I kind of know how that is except I am more intrested in moving out then my mom is......I'm 22 and spent about a year and a half living in college dorms I ended up dropping out and trying to find work but that did not work. My dads side of the family who I was staying with for about a year after that had no real understanding of what sort of difficulties I have so that did not work and I ended moving back to my moms house and I would move out if I could....but its pretty hard to find a job when you can't act normal enough or whatever.



marshall
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05 Nov 2011, 8:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Let's switch places. In the middle-east, there's no such thing as 'over 18 should move out'.

However once you get a job, still unmarried and you're the oldest son then you would be the 'man of house', meaning that all responsibilities such as running errands and paying bills would be on you. Besides, it's culturally shameful to put elders in elderly-care places, so if you have a sick old parent or grandparent, he/she's your responsibility too.

So yea, you're screwed in both places.


As much as middle-east culture gets a bad rap for being less free/individualistic it seems some things are better. At least you aren't immediately looked down upon for living with or being financially dependent on other family members as a young adult. Families should take care of each other IMO. It must suck if you get stuck with bad/abusive parents though.



hanyo
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05 Nov 2011, 9:18 pm

My mother doesn't believe in kicking out your kid just because they can't or won't get a job and thinks it's awful when parents do that.

I'm 36 and still live at home. If she kicked me out it wouldn't make me magically get a job. I'd end up at a homeless shelter and the welfare hoping for help.



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06 Nov 2011, 12:59 am

All cultures have had the 'live at home and look after your elders' deal at one time or other. It was a survival strategy in smaller bioregional groups that don't have welfare systems. It has changed a lot over the last century or so as many countries went federal/national, individuality became more acceptable or expected, welfare became an option.

Where a culture is on the subject now is in relation to it's history, 'progress', and an individual family's exposure to outside influences and options.

Family/group/gang orientation will become the trend again as civilization contracts over this century.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Nov 2011, 5:06 pm

marshall wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Let's switch places. In the middle-east, there's no such thing as 'over 18 should move out'.

However once you get a job, still unmarried and you're the oldest son then you would be the 'man of house', meaning that all responsibilities such as running errands and paying bills would be on you. Besides, it's culturally shameful to put elders in elderly-care places, so if you have a sick old parent or grandparent, he/she's your responsibility too.

So yea, you're screwed in both places.


As much as middle-east culture gets a bad rap for being less free/individualistic it seems some things are better. At least you aren't immediately looked down upon for living with or being financially dependent on other family members as a young adult. Families should take care of each other IMO. It must suck if you get stuck with bad/abusive parents though.


I'd love to be fully independent and living totally alone though.



Ksim
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07 Nov 2011, 9:21 pm

hanyo wrote:
My mother doesn't believe in kicking out your kid just because they can't or won't get a job and thinks it's awful when parents do that.

I'm 36 and still live at home. If she kicked me out it wouldn't make me magically get a job. I'd end up at a homeless shelter and the welfare hoping for help.


I agree with this sentiment.
To be honest the whole "I'm going to kick you out of the house" will disappear this century I think.
As the world gets more overcrowded and people struggle to find houses, families will end up living with each other once again.
We could end up seeing several generations living under one roof in Western countries once again.

I know if I had kids, I wouldn't kick them out of the house.
They could stay with me as long as they needed to in order to get a job.
That is how I feel anyway.