Starting a job: Social tips

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After a few years of demoralising and depressing unemployment and maltreatment from job centres and work programmes.... I have finally got (with no help from them) a job! It's for a small business where I'll be doing copywriting. There are about 7 of them in the office, which isn't so bad.

My question is to those who have experienced the daunting experience of coming into a new job... How did you deal with it socially? Though I lack the social skills/know-how to approach colleagues and introduce myself and chat... Is there anything you've be able to do comfortably to help break the ice? I guess my main worry is to become isolated and uneasy and end up really disliking my work environment.

Thanks!

I have found that people at work are often happy to talk about themselves, so if you always say "hi" and "How are you?" or "How is your day going?" they will give you more than enough information to politely speak with them in a work setting. Then if you remember their children's name or things like that you can say "How is Sarah?" as a follow up and they will you remembered their child's name.

Good advice already, but I'll add this:

Each workplace seems to have its own personality - just as families do. So I usually am polite and friendly but lowkey at first and just sort of watch to see what things are like before I decide how I'm going to fit in.

It's important, I think, not to try too hard. Figure out how people behave there first, then determine what kind of socialization on your part is likely to be acceptable.

So I guess my advice is: observe, mirror, and then improvise.

And maybe a little bit like a rookie baseball player (or veteran on new team!), yes, you have talent and skills you bring to the table, but at the same time, a sense of humbleness that you also have things to learn.

PS I know you live in the UK. I guess all my sports analogies apply to the states.

People like to be complimented, as I am sure you know, on either something they are wearing or something they have done. Sometimes "That's a cool looking scarf" goes a long way. Keep it short and say it only if you mean it.

I find that you have about a week to use the "I'm new here" card to meet people. It works for people who are new to the company as well. For me that is the best time to introduce myself because it's an easy and obvious ice breaker. If I miss that window I don't know how to introduce myself, and I can go months without ever acknowledging their existence.

That's why I find it best to meet everyone as early as possible. Lines like "Hi, I'm X and I just started as a Y" work pretty well. The other person will typically respond with something similar. Then I ask things like "How long have you been here", "Where were you before here" if they are new. Otherwise I ask about location: "What are the good lunch spots nearby?"

HTH, uc