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MrKnott
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Age: 57
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15 May 2009, 6:28 pm

Would you ever tell a person he/she might be like us? I watched while two very likely ones (both have a kid with AS and show some of the common traits themselves) got fired at my job for doing the stuff that I have made my life's work trying to hide (does this make sense?). I mean the NT's thought they were jerks and didn't give them a fair shot. I am thought nice, but weird or not thought of, which is okay. I wanted to tell these folks be careful with their complaints and literal readings of work rules and basically to lie low until the others got used to them. I didn't have the guts, and they're out. Don't know if it would have helped to say anything. What's worse, the NT's made fun of them--not to their faces, and were glad to see them go. I'm not saying the people were pleasant to be around, but, unlike some of the NTs, they didn't try to hurt or bother anyone. I wonder, if not acting like "everyone else" expects makes NT's consider you a nonperson, something worse than an enemy, some worse threat. By the way, all involved are high school teachers.



abee
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15 May 2009, 8:38 pm

I don't know whether or not I would let them know, but if they have children with AS then maybe they do know already?
I find it unfortunate that they got fired for being themselves and not fitting in properly or doing things correctly, simply because chances are they couldn't. I'm feeling alot for this right now, because I just started a new job yesterday and I'm finding already that my AS is getting in the way of it. I'm simply working at a supermarket for the summer, and I've already been told by my boss that I have poor communication skills/need to talk more the customer. What is so frustrating about it is that I tried my hardest yesterday to talk to people, and make conversation. Today I tried extra hard because my boss told me I wasn't doing a good enough job the day before. It's unbelievably frustrating, and all I could do was blame myself and be mad at myself for it because I just didn't understand how to be better. My AS is already a conflict in my job, and I can't imagine how it will go from now on out. My first thought was "I could get fired just because I suck at talking to people".
So what I'm saying is, I think it is very unfortunate that those people got fired for some thing(s) that were most likely out of their control, or things that they didn't notice they were doing. It also is unfortunate that the others were making fun of them, that's really not fair. I can only imagine what my co-workers have been saying about me, especially since I'm new at the job anyway.
I don't know really where I'm going with any of that - but what I'm essentially saying is that I think it sucks how being an Aspie is affecting, and will continue to affect my life in this way. There is no escaping it, even if I do get better at communication it is always going to take so much more effort than it does for the NTs, and I just find that frustrating. GAHH overall I guess you can tell I'm upset by this, it's been a bit of a down day.



MrKnott
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Joined: 12 May 2009
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15 May 2009, 10:22 pm

I have had 58 first "days on the job," most before I was 30, all of them horrible. The worst has always been the other workers, who seemed like old pals and treated me like chewed gum. Even when some of them warmed to me I could never forget their intitial coldeness, and their laughter--God whenever I hear a group of people going hahhaha, I have to convince myself they're not laughing at me. Hate that noise. But what could I expect? I was 27 before I was able to talk about the weather. And they know, they know something's off with a lot of us. Often I'd go days without anyone starting a conversation with me. If I didn't inflict myself, ask a question or something, few would notice if I fell off their planet. I don't think they can help it, and most aren't evil; but it is a job in itself to just get along with people. There is hope though, if you stick to a job, people get used to you, even protective sometimes. If I had work some of those jobs again, I might tell people: Look, it's not easy for me to talk to people, but I'm not a bad guy; and maybe smile a bit. Sometimes people find this kind of crap interesting; they think your're a deep file.



cyberscan
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15 May 2009, 11:27 pm

In situations where I did not feel disclosure was appropriate (most of the time), I can "be hard of hearing" or if I was totally new to the situation, I could pass as a foreigner. These things are acceptable to NT society. Unfortunately, autism is not. I hate being two faced, but it is either that or starvation.


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