The Santa Clause

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Hi Guys

The twins start back to high school in September into Year 9, and I thought we should approach the subject of Santa Claus with them. We want them to know the truth about the big man so they don't getting any teasing when they go back, especially my son as he travels on school bus. So I thought I would speak to my daughter first and see how thats goes - the answer is, not too well
I explained that her dad and I do the whole Christmas thing, explained that Santa was based on St Nicholas and that he was real but that the guy in red was more of a fairy tale. That nothing will change and that Christmas gifts will still appear on Christmas morning. I explained all about Christmas spirit etc etc... well she is not happy. She said that adults are all liars and everything they say is a big con against kids. she cannot believe anything we have told her anymore. She said we have played a horrible practical joke on her

Haven't dared speak to son until I get some advise from you guys on how to deal with this better
Foobabe

WHAT??? Santa Claus isn't real??? How can that be? You have just destroyed my whole life. Now I'm really bummed out.

I wouldn't have told them about Santa Claus to begin with. I knew from the age of five he was not real. I knew my parent did all the work. It seemed more practical to begin with than a man in the chimney. I have never in my life been told that Santa Claus was real and was given no real reason to why he could be real.

Maybe you shouldn't have lied to begin with and actually just told the truth to begin with?

Haha, this is why I pity you Americans. You have to find out that Santa Claus isn't real at some point...whereas the great Dutch gift-giver, Sinterklaas, is actually real and keeps giving us gifts.

I agree with Pandora. I know that's not much help, but maybe you can pass the wisdom on to other parents with young children. My parents never tried to pull the Santa thing with me, but an aunt tried to convince me about the Easter bunny, when I was maybe 4 or 5 and I got REALLY mad at her for lying to me. I'm actually still kind of resentful about it 15 years later. I understand that there are some circumstances that require parents to lie to their children (where babies come from, what happened to the goldfish, things of that nature that are for their own good at a young age), but I don't see the purpose in lying any more than necessary. It will just make them distrustful later.

My response was something more along the lines of "I knew it." It wasn't really much of a surprise to me.

When my grandmother was in the hospital after an operation, there was serious concern she was going to die. I was not told. While I understand that in principle, I was really annoyed at finding out about this after an offhand comment more than ten years later.

Santa is real. He just doesn't wear a red suit. I had always played coy with that part, so it wasn't that hard for the kids to morph into accepting that mom was Santa.

I would suggest finding the "grandma-poor friend- winter coat- see you are Santa" story. The "Yes, Virginia" letter is also good. You can't do this as a fact v reality thing. Instead, teach them that it is all about the spirit of giving, and the role we each play in that. The existence of nuance.

Might be a difficult change of direction, and it depends on how strongly literal your child is ..

Just be super careful. This is one of the many ways an AS child can lose trust that the world values truth as much as it says it does.

My son believed up to a late age, I was waiting for him to come and ask the question, it never happened. I had to tell him before he started post-primary, he was very upset. He now keeps telling me how I have ruined xmas for him. I did explain the St Nicholas was real etc, not sure he was upset that I lied but more upset that I told him the truth.

Thanks Guys
Will tread round this carefully from now on
x

I was very uncomfortable trying to explain Santa to my daughter when she was 3 because I knew the whole story was completely illogical. And how could I explain to a shy child that strange old man was going to sneak into her house while she was sleeping? But by the time she was 4 the explanation was unnecessary because the Santa myth was so ubiquitous.

Now I don't even remember when she learned there was no Santa, but for several years she half -pretended to believe. She talked about Santa and she knew it was fake, but in a sense she wished it was real. People believe in him because they want to believe in him, it's fun to believe in Santa. So I wont take that away from anybody.

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Thank you, Beenthere! That is the story!

My kids have embraced the concept of magic as simply being something for which you don't yet have an explanation. Kids can have a lot of fun spreading magic; mine like to be Leprechauns for younger kids in the neighborhood, carrying on a tradition some never confirmed family started when my kids were young. We're careful not to lie, but we do play coy. If you pass on these traditions as part of the Santa reveal, it makes it all a whole lot sweeter.

like others said, remind them of the spirit of giving. Remind them that by carrying on the traditions of christmas, you are keeping the spirit of saint nick alive.

maybe they might even like to play santa a little bit. I like to slip a few presents under the tree that say "santa" on them so noone really knows where they came from unless they ask random acts of kindness. Maybe they can be a santa to a homeless shelter?

i mean my nt 10 y/o sister still believes in santa. but i can tell she'll do just fine when she finds out that mom and dad are santa. we went to disney and i mean, even though she knows the princes and princesses are actors, she still is inspired by them and she can still feel the disney magic that they represent. I think the meaning behind santa is far more precious than the actual acts "he" does.

actually, when i found out that santa was really my parents... i actually became more greatfull and appreciative. I mean when santa gives gifts to all the boys and girls, you almost feel entitled to gettnig gifts. But when you know tis coming from your parents just because they love you and want to spoil you a little, i think you just appreciate it more...because really they don't HAVE to give you anything.

With that said there is something really special about listening for reindeer on christmas eve, but its also warm and fuzzy knowing that your parents have loved you all those years.