Frustrated in Washington

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I went to one of the most productive, in my opinion, meetings at my son's school. Recall I mentioned before the courts interjection in our lives? Nearing the end of the meeting, it was discovered my son's CASA Guardian hasn't been forwarding, let alone sharing reports-information.

I took it upon myself to hand deliver copies of all the diagnostic reports, some weeks back, which I had for my son to the psychologist at the school. I requested a wrap around meeting between all the heads on his case. There was finally follow through! This was the first time everyone has been at the same table since this all began last year. His next IEP meeting isn't until mid-December.

It turns out the CASA guardian seems to have it in her head that with the right medication and support he should be cured (because AS is a mental disorder!) She's the one pushing for a more precise diagnosis and treatment plan. There's another woman in this, employed by the state for children in foster care. (Which just so happens to be the former principle from our first horrific public school experience back in Kindergarten) Her job is to provide tutoring services (so far she's showed up to all the meetings and made suggestions, with no tangible results) Any way, the curtain was drawn back!! The school, Child Protective Services, my mother and I all realized this white collar volunteer has been misdirecting and misleading all of us for over a year.

Between the reports from the Neurologist in Seattle, the two developmental evaluations, the WHISK tests they'd performed before; as well as one on one information gathered, they were able to ascertain he has dyslexia, dyscalculia and disgraphia. The school psychologist noted he is an autodidact which doesn't translate well into the kind of instruction they want him to conform to. He doesn't take instruction, he never has willingly, not from an authoritarian type. When I had him at home, I would have to present him with a problem he could solve in a way where he was the educator. He isn't intimidated per say by peer to peer learning nor learning (discovery) with younger children. I have previously enlisted younger children to help me teach my son something new, with great results. So all were in agreement, he does wonders when allowed to peer co-op.

Thankfully his latest and longest lasting para educator has a sense of humor and doesn't take offense when my son has his mini meltdowns, which seemed to perturb the CASA worker. She wanted to focus on each tiny negative thing that has happened, and since the court has been strictly implementing CASA's suggestions based on her reports it has in all essence hindered our ability to work better for him. As of this meeting, he has safe zones. He can walk when he's frustrated. He still isn't allowed a music player and his last incident involved a peanut butter and jelly sandwich he'd made himself and brought to school for a snack.

Yes, we're at Cascade! There is someone in the school with an airborne nut allergy!! My son says the school is heartless, hungry people should be able to eat when they're hungry and he's still not allowed to stay for lunch although there is hope he may be allowed a lunch period after his IEP amendment meeting this December. The exact outline of requirements hasn't been hammered out.

All the teachers had great things to say about him. Except when it came to his handwriting. He doesn't handle change, like I'm sure most of you can understand. Before he was allowed to do all his work orally and when it came down to any writing his para educator would transcribe for him. This year they're requiring he write on his own. His math teacher says his mind is amazing, he gets A's on all his tests when given orally, but coupled with his daily work he's averaging C's. His math teacher said my son taught him a new way to use the multiplication table in order to simplify fractions without ever having a write a single thing down.

He doesn't seem to completely grasp letter grades. He tells me, "they're not real, like money isn't real."

His language arts teacher says he has a deeper comprehension of stories than any student she's ever encountered, and yet such an innocent child-like mind. She also said once again his grades don't reflect his intellect due to the handwriting barrier.

The white board has been ruled out, since apparently they allowed him to use it, but when he refused to duplicate his work with pen to paper they said he couldn't use the board anymore. Now he doesn't want to use one at all

His auditory recall is impeccable according to everyone he works with. He takes in everything he sees. He can verbally walk people through every aspect of his work.. but again, because he won't write it...

I suggested getting that Dragon software so he could dictate his work into a printable format, but the school said if we allowed him to do that it'd give him all the more reason not to write and they're unwilling to allow that.

Child services suggested the district obtain the Peabody evaluation in order to get a more solid ground on his abilities. The school psychologist said it was possible, but they'd like to test him again with the WHISK once he's more co-operative.

I have a meeting with our local ARC next week. The advocate said she would be able to help us with services the district hasn't considered and get me better acquainted with this whole IEP/504 stuff!

I have since changed PCP for my son. His latest dr was working with CASA and not communicating any of his concerns to me.

I have had enough of these hidden agendas!

I made my own way through school, back then there seems to have been so much more and yet so much less. I recall being suspended for being in the library, instead of class, because I wanted to learn about mythology by country I also recall being allowed to create a peer group therapy where we acted out a scenario and worked on better ways of acting in those situations. School in my time, was a tool, I used. I learned how to bend rules and I was there on my terms or I wasn't there at all.

My son's school has no Drama class and his english teacher said even if they did, she wouldn't approve of him being in an activity like that until he was willing to write. He couldn't take another Art class unless he first learned art basics like color and perspective (wtf give him paint...) he loves to paint with bright colors and big brushes! his favorite is green with purple polka dots.

*ick, ick* So I came to the conclusion, I would get an official copy of the school districts diagnosis and present it to the court and my attorney, at our hearing next month. Since those associated with this case are presenting incompetency.

I balance, somehow, all of this; as well as a daughter with Neurofibromatosis type 1 (and suspected AS) and two other young school aged children.

Thank you all for everything and for allowing me to have a place where I can speak, where I don't feel like I'm just shouting into a void.

I know there is still a long way to go, but you have progress, and that is wonderful.

If your son is disgraphic, refusal to write may be about a lot more than stubbornness; the school needs to understand that writing is often physically painful for disgraphic kids. My son's hands literally cramp when he tries to write anything more than a couple of sentences. His entire arm was in pain for a week after he had to hand write his AP composition test (we didn't have his accommodations application completed in time, and he decided to take the test anyway).

As a parent to a severely disgraphic child, I STRONGLY disagree with holding ANYTHING hostage to your son writing. I know this is a crucial age and he has to learn to communicate in writing, but this is a tough job for him, and he is going to have to choose to work extraordinarily hard to get where he needs to be. My son's middle school years were pretty much devoted to his learning to type efficiently and then edit his own work; that is the common plan for disgraphics. My son agreed to give up his elective to get over that hurdle, but the key there is that he agreed. He understood this was a skill he needed to have to get through the rest of his academic career and eventually move on to college and his own personal goals. Plus, well, the kid has always been a story teller and there are books he wants to write; he knew that wouldn't happen if he couldn't get things on paper.

But no one forced him to get things on paper with a pencil. Ever. Because that physically hurts him.

The school assigned him to OT in 6th grade with the sole goal of becoming proficient at typing. It worked; he learned to type. That is a common protocol for disgraphics.

What we are hearing now is that OT should have continued past that point so that he could have made more progress with using his hands; there has been a lot of advancement in this area in the last 5 years. But none of that is a demand on the child; it is a therapy, a special service, something given to your child. Are they offering OT for your son, to work on the disgraphia? They should be.

I am not up on all the other areas of concern with your son, but I definitely know disgraphia.

I have to let you know, too, that the disgraphia will probably keep your son from ever working that well with art. The fine motor control isn't there, even when the eye is. That breaks my heart with my son, because he has an amazing eye and can outline rough drafts in perfect proportion. But he can't render the detail expected in art. If there was anything ASD related that I could "cure" in my son, the disgraphia would probably be it. Well, that or the inability to handle stress; I guess those two are tied; the aspects that are true disabilities for him, that hold him back from things he would love to do.

Since you mentioned drama ... My son has been very involved in high school drama; I hope that someday that will be the case for your son, too; my son has gotten so much from that.

Anyway, good luck. Not sure if I'm making any sense since I'm up too late but ...

You should ask for an Assistive Technology assessment, and push hard for the option to use a keyboard or speech to text software for all written assignments. Plus oral rather than written testing. These are key accommodations used for kids with dyslexia and dysgraphia, abd he needs them in his IEP.

You should also ask for an IEE -- Independent Educational Evaluation. I'm not clear on the details about how you get one, but I have heard the district will have to pay for it if you go about it the right way. Something an advocate can definitely advise you on.

At any rate, it seems like you're getting positive forward motion and at least pinpointing the problem - congratulations for that!

I don't have any advice on navigating this kind of bureaucracy, but It hurts to hear how much your son is struggling; he reminds me so much of my younger brother, who is autistic (found out very recently, suspected for a long time). He's relatively high functioning; he's funny, and brilliant, and interesting to talk to, but school was a misery for him. Even though you're struggling, I hope you know how much you're doing for your son. When my brother reached the point, also in the 7th grade, of crying on the way to school every morning and begging my mom (also AS) not to make him go, she let him drop out and never took him to see a psychologist or therapist of any kind, didn't enroll him in any online or in-person programs or activities, and essentially let him stay at home all day on the internet. It was a respite for him, because he didn't have to deal with cruel and stupid teachers and other students, and he could focus on teaching himself animation, algebra, and Old Norse. But now, his social and life skills are pretty limited. He's a great person, but our family failed him. I want you to know that as frustrated as your son is now, you don't know what a difference it will make in a few years for him to know you were advocating for him every step of the way.

One piece of advice I can give, is that the only thing that motivated my brother to do things he didn't want to do was the outcome being something he wanted, in a big way; when he was 17 I made him getting his GED a condition of coming to live with me, and after not taking a standardized test in 6 years he studied for a month and easily passed. It was the same with his SATs a year later, after getting to visit a college he really loved. Maybe it would help your son feel less frustrated on a daily basis if you found together a high school he really wants to attend, so he knows there's a bigger goal he's working towards, not just meaningless grades.

I feel like I'm trying to push an old rusty car out of a cow field after a rain storm. It's moving, SLOWLY. I have contacted several local and some national AS groups, received a few helpful links along with a couple ideas I hadn't thought of.

I did discover in all the miles, the ARC is it for our area. I've met with an Advocate twice, she is helping, we're now waiting for the school to agree to a meeting.

My son was suspended this past Friday, again Crisis was called. He threw a bottle of water 'near the principle to get her to back up. She just needed to shut up.' (his words) I see how they reinforce every bit of his negative reactionary behavior and then wash their hands of any responsibility.

I wasn't able to get an Advocate to the latest IEP meeting, it had been scheduled for 11 Dec... but with the incident Friday morning we met that afternoon instead. I did however, bring a friend along and talk about Odd. The most vocal people at the table, were the quietest. My friend took notice that none of the women at the table would make eye contact with me (this is something I have never noticed, but it's true.) when they addressed me, they'd glance my direction then look at my mom and talk to her. The male teachers on the other hand made such good eye contact, it almost made me uncomfortable. I hate to be gender biased, but when reading over the summaries from his teachers the horrible things which happen at school - all - take place with women teachers and counselors. His male teachers (math & health - PE) find him amazing, a joy, wonderful sense of humor, hard worker.. They're also the only people who don't have a problem giving oral exams or writing his answers for him.

So far the "fit in the box" women in charge at these meetings see absolutely no reason to allow my son to use voice assisted programs, in their mind it will hinder his need to learn to write legibly.

I have also been in this for so long, it's recently come to light, the pediatrician which came so highly recommended has been working behind the scenes campaigning for the termination of my parental rights. He feels I have medically neglected my son and that I have been reaching for medical excuses in order to allow him to be an undisciplined child. I switched doctors. Due to changes, I have to remain with the medical group assigned to us by the state.. so I'd locked into the same group of doctors but the one we're with now would rather figure out whats going on than speculate and write letters to the courthouse. He's actually the one who disclosed the letters to me and we'd originally only gone in to see him because my son's usual doctor didn't have any openings.

I am still very diligently reading through each and every link I have been given. I have collected district choice forms and inner district transfer forms to go along with the Ombudsman form. I have enrolled the assistance of a social worker, another family counselor who specializes in families with unusual issues (we'll see how that pans out) and begun to view this as a chess game.

My train of thought just abruptly stopped =/ *sigh* that seems to it for now

My son told our new pediatrician how his fingers get stuck and his arm hurts and how it makes his brain ache, he also explained in so many words to our social worker. Disgraphic and Dyscalculia are new ones for most of these people. I had to bring copies from the LDA website and point out to the 'Professionals' the UC Davis credit at the bottom of the page before they even bothered to glance at it.

Did you ever reach a point where you entertained the idea of trying to beat the information into their brain with boxes of science based real life studies? It's mental movies like these that keep me out of prison.

The goals are daily and achievable. The things not normally taken into account - by them . Feed the cat. Brush your teeth. Take a shower. Leave your room for a reason other than visiting the refrigerator. I find pulling out his ever growing collection of Magic cards to be the best way to lure him out of his cave. His grandmother pays him $2/day for accomplishing these tasks, which he promotes a trip to the card shop. Small tweaks like walking down to the gas station for a treat have helped him, although he still will not venture off on his own and with some of the kids in the neighborhood I completely understand! He's so trusting

I wouldn't be able to bring him home and let him on his own! There is so much in the world, which doesn't suck and isn't utterly dull.. plus he'd get so lonely.

Prior to all of this school nonsense he had been playing with computer programming and we'd spend hours imagining together the kind of worlds he could create. The interest is still in there, but I'm not going to force him into it when he hasn't alluded to missing it.

His love of Magic the Gathering has sparked an interest in the novels. I am all for reading material and have no problem making time to read to him. I usually buy 2 copies of every book, just in case any of my children want to follow along.

He has shown interest in finding a school that doesn't 'poke at him until he shatters' I would like to hope we'd be able to remain where he is, only due to the relationships he's formed with his 3 male teachers. But I am not nailed to the idea. My gut says we can build the best IEP/504 what ever and the wedges driven won't budge, nor will he thrive.

I am glad to hear your brother wanted to be with you enough he made an effort and succeeded. That GED deserves an elegant frame and eye level prominent placement

Sorry to hear that your son got suspended. All he was trying to do was express how angry he was - and I don't doubt it! The school seems to have failed him for a caring environment and people that can help him out.
How are his grades? Washington state established those new, confusing "Common Core" and "Smarter Balanced" curriculum programs this year. My grade in my math class went from an 84% (previous school) to 74% (new district with new standards) and now Algebra II is a 68% - same thing. We are expected to take a long Language Arts/Math test this year - even though I already passed the WA State HSPE (grade 10) last year which was supposed to be a reading/writing exit exam.
Can you homeschool him or move him into a private school with a better curriculum program? Does he take a computer class at school? I notice he enjoys programming computers. I'm sure the class isn't the best, but it would be something else to do other than 6 periods of stress.
Just keep advocating! Hopefully your son will do well soon.

We've been lucky, our school district was familiar with ASD and, while they weren't experienced with disgraphia, they worked with us to forge a really strong, positive process for helping my son learn to write.

I was thinking of you the other day because my son started talking about writing on white boards. I delved into it a little with him and he described in detail how different the physical experiences are between writing on a white board, using different types of pens, and holding a pencil. If I can remember the descriptions he gave accurately, a pencil is the worst because it vibrates when you use it; it hits the paper hard, and it bumps as it works, feeling like it is fighting you. White boards are the best because the marker glides smoothly and you have a better chance of controlling it.

Can you imagine living in a world where you notice every detail of the experience of running a pencil along paper? Most of us never think much about it, we hold the pencil and pay attention to the product. But someone like my son is consumed by the action of how the pencil hits the paper. He told me that he found it completely logical why your son would only write on a white board, and refuse other mediums. And this comes from a kid who did really well on the AP composition test.

Has your son met with an occupational therapist (OT) through the school? That needs to happen. A qualified OT will understand the disgraphia and be able to help the teachers develop a protocol. I, personally, am not in favor of voice assist technology because a child will go much further learning to keyboard, instead, but that is a case by case determination.

I am sorry that it is all made more difficult for you because of the history you have with social services and the schools. You start from a point of distrust on both sides, and that hinders progress. We always had the benefit of the school and teachers believing in us as parents, and having enough trust to really, truly listen to us and take what we said seriously. I wonder if it would help to recognize in some of these conversations with them that, yes, the history is there, but you ARE doing your research and your son should NOT have access to appropriate services and accommodations hindered by that history. Your son deserves to get all the services and understanding that my son did, and my son got a lot, all of which paid off in the end: my son is a giant success story to the school district.

Much of the world seems to devalue expression in any manner other than peaceful, yet their own actions are anything but! I'm glad to have 30+ years on this planet and all the control methods I've taught myself over this time, even though my gut reaction is still <auto-slap>

We have adopted common core and it was explained to me the reason behind the lower scores/grades in Mathematics, is Washington State averages all work done throughout the year against their projected scores for your end of term grades. So you're more or less base lined at the beginning of the year in your knowledge, then theorized as to where you'd be at the end of the year and all your worked is judged by end of the year standards. That's why their measurement of intellect per student is so shallow. My younger children bring home bi-monthly, color coded graphs now instead of the usual written progress reports. Red - In dire need of support, Yellow - Support required and Green - At or exceeding expectation. So glad our administrative folks feel this is motivating

I homeschooled my son for many years, if he hadn't drawn undesired attention and curiosity, we would not currently be court ordered to attend public school I was accused of educational and social neglect. Because ya know.. the world is SO open and accepting to the weird kids. The court feels the only course of action is that my son remain in public school and his school feels many of his deficits are due to my forcefully excluding him from society all these years. (even though I would spend approximately 2 years getting him to grade level standards and enroll him in school, only to have him regress to kindergarten/1st grade levels within the first 3 months of enrollment.) His current school ultimately refuses to allow for any Home-Education in conjunction with his Public education. Instead opting for Home supported public education by way of extra assignments. My son's logic is - school work takes place at school not home and refuses to do much more than allow the excess work collect dust.

This/these educational institutions are not even cool enough to be called dinosaurs. They are ancient, element exposed stacks of dull rubble..

The version of computer class available at his school is the equivalent of basic keyboarding. The kind where you're not allowed to look at your fingers and all the work you do is copied from a book. Just as their pathetic excuse for Art mainly consists of what you'd come to expect if you were to take an Art Appreciation class in College haphazardly thrown into minute Intro to sections. Lecture 3/4's of the year with the remaining 1/4 spent physically manipulating supplies. He has been strung along - heading into yr 2 of.. "you can attend choir when you're behavior is safe." He LOVES to sing. He lives inside music. When he's surrounded by it, he's alive... animated.. He refuses to take band, says the way they teach instruments destroys his ability as well as desire to learn how to play one. (of course those are my interpretations of his explanation) he says "they f it all up and make it work." There is no Drama class or club, there are no buddy clubs or coping groups, his grades and actions bar his school related activities such as Robotics (although his interest in that area have diminished greatly)

Our ARC Advocate is still working on coordinating a meeting with my son's "IEP" team so far they've done little to accommodate us, citing schedule conflicts due to end of year formalities, holiday breaks, conferences ect.

The most frustrating part in all of this is the completely lack of empathy. It took a full year for my son to except and accommodate then in the most rudimentary fashion. He has his schedule down. From 7:30 to 11 am every day. At 11:15 Every Day he logs into skype on xbox and talks to his best friend in Ireland while he has lunch and unwinds. They believe my son will see full day school as some kind of reward for his integration and good behavior, he describes school itself as suffocating - prison like. I would like to trust these people, I really would.. but I don't see extending his schedule as becoming a positive.

I have mentioned his grades before - His oral work/tests are within A range, averaged against his non-complicance for written work he comes out with C's.

At one point, years ago, I attempted assist him in passing a private school interview.. (which here private ed is religious or alternative - sponsored by juvenile services) at the private religious interview he had an adverse reaction to the metaphoric state of the conversation, it didn't go well. The alternative never seemed tempting to us.

I had, had hopes of transferring him to a better program in the area, but we're sorely at a loss when it comes to those. There is only one school in town which has a highly regarded special education program and they're turning families away due to overcrowding. Our application is welcomed, yet unlikely to be accepted at this time

When I spoke to his court appointed advocate about our lack of services, she smiled gently and said we'd need to learn how to grit our teeth and just conform because this is the way society works.

My family can, with effort bend a little here and there, but to become what it is this society expects us to be won't be possible and I'm not willing to break myself nor a single member of my family in order to gain their acceptance.

On a lighter note, my son expressed his interest in owning a comic and card/board game based store. He smiled brighter than the sun when he talked about how everyone could come play games and have fun. This is the first time he's ever had one of those "when I grow up moments"

I the deeper I get inside all of this, the more I seem to find fragments of myself. Especially when you wrote your son's description of a pencil. I only buy those soft leaded pencils for use in the house.. the ones that don't write very well but they glide over the paper. I have always preferred inks and have been teased for being a snob when it comes to art materials. I know what it feels like to hit every single bump on cheap paper, even the barely audible squeaking, scraping sound of graphite. I not only feel it, I hear it. Paper has to have a smooth soft tangible quality and writing/drawing implements can't just barrel over the page wreaking havoc they need to compatible and embrace each other. Unlike my son, I don't enjoy white boards. The markers make uncomfortable sounds to me lol and being left handed I drag over my work.

I head into each meeting with hope and optimism, I am open to shifting and change towards a beneficial outcome. By the end of each meeting I have been buried in old news, reminded and beaten by all of my mistakes. I return home and melt, usually by way of tears. I attempt to speak with these people without using blaming language like YOU and YOUR. My mother taught me sentences in this manner are swords and they have the ability to cause harm without realizing it. Yet their language is chosen in order to inflict damage. I can comprehend why my son reacts, he's bombarded by a reaction inducing environment.

A few summers ago, my son and I had the privilege of meeting a retired special education teacher from California who was on vacation near Mt St Helens with her grand daughter. She noticed not too long after joining us by the lake that there was "a spark" about my son and asked if he was in special education. I briefly explained our situation and she asked if she could help him bait his hook. She didn't take his pole, instead she moved her chair over near him and intentionally dropped her worm. She asked if he saw it anywhere? He quickly knelt down and found it for her. She laughed and started talking about how difficult it was for her to get the worm on the hook because of how wiggly they were. By the end of that encounter my son had managed to bait both her hook and his own. She invited us back to their site and we had lunch. My son asked if we could come back and see them another time. They were leaving by the end of the week, so we made plans to visit again that weekend. I ended up not being able to go, but my mother was excited to take him. I heard about the visit that evening. She had explained to my mom how wonderful he was. He learned by helping, he needs to be needed, appreciated and he needs to be willing to do a task. My son had helped her figure out how to use her camera and had taken clear pictures of the wild geese for her, since her hands shook. Then he helped her print the best pictures and gave him a copy of his favorite. Those visits are still in his trove of "best days ever" I wish there were more gentle people like her in education.

I'm hopeful I will be able to help my son explain to our ARC advocate what it is he needs in order to make school easier. My son has been invited to all the meetings, but tells us he can't go, since it wouldn't turn out well. I have not heard back yet from the referral for the OT, the district mentioned OT's but didn't elaborate on whether he'd get one. That's why I asked the latest pediatrician for an outside referral. I did meet with an OT for my daughter this morning and felt a lot more sure of myself as a sane parent when her sensory issues were given acknowledgement. Finally! and I am looking forward to my son's appointment now.

Most people in the schools wouldn't give a damn about intellectual niches. And it's very sad. One person who might be a 60% D- student in Geometry might be a 98% A student in Financial Math. The state just says what math classes kids have to take in order to get even close to college.
I would like to be an elementary teacher after college. I DO NOT NEED probably 3/4ths, or more, of the Algebra knowledge to work with even 4th or 5th graders. They are NOT learning pre-Algebra until 7th or 8th grade. The numbers and Xs and Ys and Zs are confusing me very badly. I have two assessments in the next 2 days in that class - barf!
It's also sad what "computer skills" classes have seemed to turn into now. Common Core's "requirements" gives a required WPM (words per minute) mastering level beginning in either 2nd or 3rd grade (it's either one, I forgot). When I was in elementary school, we did typing (starting in 3rd grade), but also got time to play on online educational games, do Kid Pix (which was fun!), learn about Microsoft Word/Powerpoint/Excel, and make our own music on Apple's GarageBand program. I'm sure the upper-level elementary classes have turned into 25 robots typing with headphones on, every week. That's no fun for a person who likes computer programming!
There's no way the teachers can say "you can't do Choir." All he has to do is sing darn it! He does not need to buy a trumpet, and reeds for it, and practice 5 hours a night. By middle/high school I thought kids were allowed to pick what electives they wanted.
Can't believe there is no buddy club. Is there ANY leadership classes?! The local HS here has one, and so does the junior high as well. You would think with some leadership classes he would be able to make some friends.
I wish that special ed teacher you guys met was working at the local middle school he is at. Things would turn around fast. I am blessed to have a few teachers that I enjoy, some have their bad days and some are confusing, but it's the material that is killing my grades especially in math.
What town are you guys located in? Is there another middle school in the same city or an adjacent city he could move into? Apparently this one is not working...at all.
Best wishes

It would make sense, if you were on or close to the spectrum yourself, and it would also explain why you can communicate so effectively here, but struggle more in the meetings.

I truly hope you can find a way to get the right information through to these people and get your son what he needs. As much as I've been happy with our school district on this journey, things did not always just happen; I often had to challenge and push them, and get them to see pieces they were missing. I was lucky that they trusted me and actually listened. We know our own kids better than anyone, period, regardless of past mistakes.

It would make sense, if you were on or close to the spectrum yourself, and it would also explain why you can communicate so effectively here, but struggle more in the meetings.

I truly hope you can find a way to get the right information through to these people and get your son what he needs. As much as I've been happy with our school district on this journey, things did not always just happen; I often had to challenge and push them, and get them to see pieces they were missing. I was lucky that they trusted me and actually listened. We know our own kids better than anyone, period, regardless of past mistakes.

Even in the best of circumstances it isn't unusual to leave a meeting in tears, btw. It is all just so intense; I don't know how else to describe it. Spending time with a team of people looking into the most difficult and challenging aspects of your child and family is never going to be easy; it is like an invasion of privacy, albeit one done in the attempts to help but, still, it cuts in deep.

It's been a long time, but just wanted to bump this thread up to ask how your son is doing now. It's almost a new semester in WA schools, which means possibly new classes. Has he gotten suspended again or has things turned around?
BTW for me Alg-2 was a bad class in general. At last check my grade went down to 64%, from 68 in December. It doesn't matter how LONG I study, how HARD I study or how much HELP I get, nothing worked for me. I have Financial Algebra beginning tomorrow and I believe that will be a huge sigh of relief from the hell that Algebra 2 has given me.

Again, to ask, if things are still not going up to par, is there another middle school in the same city or adjacent one nearby that he can attend? Maybe based off of the frustrations at this middle school, another one could be a better fit. But we all know what middle schools are like anyways...1/2 the electives you get in high school and a lot more immature NTs than in high school.

Best wishes to you and your son!