Kids say the darndest things

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When my AS girl was about 5 years old I found her out in the yard tossing a stray cat high up into the air. I was shocked, told her to stop, and then asked her why was she tossing the cat into the air. She replied "The teacher said cats land on their feet, I wanted to see if they really land on their feet." I said "Don't throw that cat into the air anymore, how do you think the cat feels being tossed up in the air like that?" (at this point I was trying to use "feeling" words, to get her to "empathize" and use the situation as a teaching moment...wrong!! ). To which she replied, in all seriousness, "I don't know, I don't speak cat."

"Is 'dead' a bad word?" My 4 yo asd son asks.

Followed by "Is Canadian a bad word?" (we had visited a duck pond that day and seen a family of Canada Geese which his teacher called "Canadian Geese"- he doesn't actually understand that Canadian means people who live in a country called Canada)

Lately, we have been having a lot of issues with what words are bad and what words are OK!

Just have to post this one.

My 6 year old granddaughter this week got ready for bed and put on a life-jacket. My daughter did not say anything as Susie has always been a unique child and often does strange things. The following night she again put on the life-jacket and got into bed. My daughter being very curious ask why she was wearing the jacket. The reply, " cause if I sleep on my back and throw-up, then I won't drown."

Great solution to a life threatening problem.

Well Shawn is 9 and nonverbal for the most part except for a few prompted words that are very impaired. well this one day we went out for McDonalds fudge sundays, which we brought home to eat. Shawn and his younger brother Mark went to sit at the table to eat as I went to rotate the laundry. All of the sudden, clear as day i hear it................"SON OF A b***h!'' I dropped my pile of laundry and went into the kitchen yelling "Mark! what did you just say?" Mark looked at me with fear and a little bit of amazement and said "Shawnie said, it Shawnie said it." I look over at Shawn empty handed, with just the residue of ice cream on his face and hands, and our Great Dane Kramer right beside him chewing on the plastic sunday container. He looked at me with a crinkled forehead and pointed to the dog and said it again "son of a b***h." I was too astonished to be angry in fact i was impressed that he spoke and even used the phrase appropriately. To this day that was the only unprompted language we have heard yet. We know its in there we just need Kramer to get the rest out of him lol.

Today when I insisted we cross at the crosswalk, my son exclaimed, "you're a slave to routine, mom!"

My son has a thing about the tags in shirts. Apparently it also bothered him tremendously that the other day his daddy was wearing a shirt with a little horse logo on it.

"You have to unsew it, Daddy," he insisted.
"Why?" asked my husband.
"Because it's too dangerous," he whispered all Sixth Sense serious. "People will think you're stupid."

Made. my. day.

My son was reading over my husband's shoulder and exclaimed, "you're reading about sex?!"

Me, curious: "Do you know what sex is?"

my son: "I don't want you to tell me, mom!"

My 10 yr old daughter's take on distressed jeans as she noticed them in a mall shop window:

"I don't get this whole distressed jeans thing. I mean just buy a regular pair of jeans, you're going to fall down eventually!"

I'm also impressed that she used the term "distressed jeans" - must have picked it up from the girls at school, lol!

I am not a parent but I used to say lots of funny things as a child! I was somewhat precocious. The kids you've written about here sound a lot like how I was

One thing I remember that was really amusing to me later in life:

When I was about 6 I noticed that the handwriting on "Santa's" presents to me and my brothers was the same as my mom's. I confronted my mom about this and she admitted it. I think she was sad though and said "Don't tell your brothers." Instead I went to school and told my entire class! Hahaha! I remember going "It's your parents! Don't you know this? It's so obvious!" My mom got a call from the principal saying I had upset many of the children in my class

I'm posting this for my mom
When I was 4 I read the Christmas present wrapper and it said, "From: Santa"
After I opened it I said, "I think this came from the grocery store!"

@Kiseki
I think I must have noticed the same thing because I remember from Senior Kindergarten onward trying to tell the kids it was there parents.

Yeah, my little Aspie has been skeptical for a long time and we gave up the pretense last year. We did manage to persuade him not to spoil it for his cousins, though.

A favorite story -- can't remember how old he was, but he was starting to be suspicious about the Tooth Fairy and concluded that it was actually Big Bear, his stuffed bear, that left the money. Then realized, "that can't be right--Big Bear doesn't have any money."

When our Aspie son was little, we got our female cat spayed. Wade started crying, saying "Get them to put her uterus back in, I don't want her to turn into a boy cat!"

I'm loving reading these.

This morning, my son who turns eight in late September:

Me: How did you get so awesome?
He: I have been awesome since I was born. I was born to be awesome. Also gorgeous.
Me: And incredibly humble.
He: Obviously.

Haha! Yeah, Wade doesn't have a humble bone in his body. He told me one day, "I finally figured out why the kids in my class don't like me." I asked him why, and he responded, "It's because I'm so much SMARTER than they are."