Potty ?

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My soon to be 4 yearold daughter will not use the potty except for places familiar to her. She will not use the church basement bathroom as she will wait till she arrives somewhere comfortable to her. I had to rush home today as she complained about going pooh. What can I do before we go nuts with this one

I've not had this particular problem with my son, but at 7.5 years he will still demand that I go with him or stand right outside the door and talk to him while he uses the toilet outwith our home.

I do remember that when my son was your daughter's age he was fascinated by the blue water in our church toilets and he insisted that I start using those blue disinfectant blocks in our own toilet. In fact, he chose different colours ones and gave them to my mother for her birthday, and insisted that she use them in her toilet when he was there.

Maybe you could try colouring the water in your own toilet and when you are out you could use the coloured tablets you get for the bath (Crayolo do them) and put them into any other toilet she has to use when you are out. Sorry, that's the best I can come up with. Hopefully others will have better ideas.

it's because toilets are disgusting. i had this issue when i was a little kid. the only way i got over it was i used to hover over toilets that weren't my own. even at friends' houses, if the bathroom wasn't immaculate, i hovered. if you're posting a thread on wp, it's pretty likely your child is overthinking this whole thing. public toilets really are disgusting, but i don't even use those little placebo paper covers now. i just wipe off the seat with tp and go for it. at some point, i realized i was going to come in contact with everything on that seat just by being in the bathroom. once i realized how disgusting everything was, i got over caring about it. don't get me wrong, i'm not about to wipe urine off a seat and then sit on it, but i'm not going to pretend no one has peed on the seat since it was last cleaned.

teach the art of hovering. it'll help. can't say whether or not it will fix the issue, but it will help.

also: from having a daughter who just turned 4 myself, i understand that hovering may be difficult on tall toilets. no helpful advice there. sorry.

If she feels that they are gross you might want a mini bottle of lysol for your purse and let her spray the greams off the sit before she uses it.

This won't be much comfort, but it may not be as simple as a cleanliness issue. I'm 50 years old and I'm sure I could count the number of public restrooms I've used on one hand if I could actually remember any.

Was in my twenties before I could use a bathroom at a friend's house (a breakthrough thanks to alcohol). Twelve years of public school and I never once saw the inside of a school restroom (not even to smoke). Finally, in my thirties, I reached a point where I could use a bathroom at work - provided it was a one-person space with a locking door.

I'm not saying I won't - I'm saying I can't - no point in wasting a half-hour trying while your body is saying 'You're wasting your time, this isn't gonna happen.' She may simply have privacy/anxiety issues that prevent her from being able to go anywhere other than home.

A lot of kids are like especially around that age.

My son hates the public toilets mainly due to the noise they make. He is also scared of certain ones. He is doing a lot better now and usually plugs his ears after going.
We had problems in school due to this but he is getting there. I know a lot of kids who refuse to go poo at school or in other public places. I had a problem even for a while as an adult.

It all depends on her reasons. Do you know why she refuses?

I know some have problems with going to a public toilet and I have a relative who will wait all day to go home and use the bathroom rather then go bm in school. That sounds rather miserable.

The only thing I have heard her say is she will fall in so I bought her a folding toilet seat and I explained to her what it was for. She played with it and seemed ok, but when we were at a store I couldn't get her to even go into the stall with me. I've thought of those little portable potties, but I dunno if that will work or not.

I hadn't thought of the blue water trick so maybe that would be an option.

What have you tried that didn't work?
Are there any other factors that you think help when it does work?


I was going to suggest that. Maybe help her to paint some pretty flowers on it or stickers or something, and get her to talk while you're doing it?

Or maybe talk with puppets, and have them ask each other what things are difficult and why.

I've heard of children being upset or unable because they can't touch the floor with their feet while using the toilet.

Would it help to drape a towel across her lap or around her or some other portable way to cover up?

My was afraid of automatic flush toilets for the longest time. He's afraid of all flushes, will avoid it all costs, but automatic flushes are the worst because he has no choice on it.

I think he eventually chose to confront the fear on his own, once he figured out that he couldn't go fun places AND avoid public potties all at the same time.

I shouldn't say this, but WHAT THE HECK.... I was pretty much the SAME way! I HATED using bathrooms, for many reasons. I STILL do. And some I DID refuse to use. Luckily, I was like a camel. When I started seeming "normal" in that regard, around 30yo, I went to the doctor! BUT, of course, he said nothing was wrong! YEP, I could get a low grade fever, and they would say I wouldn't have a temperature either.

Some bathrooms are HORRIBLE.

One of the reasons the place where I work has bathrooms for staff and bathrooms for customers.The customer bathroom is always filthy and sometimes has excrement on the seat or something, the floor is wet, paper towel all over, and such.It is like a messy cave.The staff bathrooms are basically immacculate.You would think you were using a military lavoratory on a base in the barracks where they are scrubbed down by soldiers daily.

Ok I've got more suggestions now so operation "use the potty in public" is under way. Hopefully one of these will work, but keep posting any help that comes to ya'll