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angelbear
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05 Mar 2010, 5:59 pm

My son who is almost 5 has been potty trained for a little over 6 mos. Recently, he has started having pee pee accidents in his underwear. It hasn't happened at school, just at home. Today he peed in his underwear 4 different times. I scolded him and was wondering if that was the right thing to do. Just wondering if anyone has had this issue, and what are your suggestions.



Aimless
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05 Mar 2010, 6:09 pm

I would research it before you scold him. Chances are it's out of his control and when you scold a child for something his cannot control it has long reaching consequences. I speak from experience. Sometimes the bladder does not send the proper signal to the brain.



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05 Mar 2010, 6:21 pm

I was scolded for soiling myself a couple of times, between the ages 4 and 6. I became very fearful of my bowel movements, and I only had them after the sun went down, until I was 10. I really think that you shouldn't be scolding your son, or else he will become scared of his own pee.


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angelbear
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05 Mar 2010, 7:37 pm

Thanks-that is why I wanted to get opinions because I didn't want to do the wrong thing, He is my only child, and since he is on the spectrum, sometimes I really feel lost as to how to handle things. Hopefully, someone will have some suggestions as to what to try-----



angelbear
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05 Mar 2010, 7:42 pm

Thanks-that is why I wanted to get opinions because I didn't want to do the wrong thing, He is my only child, and since he is on the spectrum, sometimes I really feel lost as to how to handle things. Hopefully, someone will have some suggestions as to what to try-----



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05 Mar 2010, 7:55 pm

Well, children do tend to have accidents once in a while. However going from being accident free for 6 months to wetting yourself 4 times in one day seems to be more then just an accident. Perhaps he is having some urinary problems? It isn't unheard of to have a urinary problem which affects your ability to control your bladder. If the problem persists, you may want to go to the doctor and see whats going on down south.



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05 Mar 2010, 8:01 pm

This is just a thought, but ... when he was first getting trained, you were "constantly" reminding, or offering him to use the bathroom, right? Have you stopped doing that? It's possible that he was much more dependent on your prompts than you realized. At school, particularly in the pre-school and kindergarten levels, but sometimes into the lower elementary grades, there are bathroom breaks. He might not have to pay much, if any attention to when he "has" to go at school. The other issue is, he might be very involved with things (TV, video games, legos, whatever), and his focus is so intent on what he's doing at home, that he can't/doesn't notice what's going on in his body. You may need to make sure he takes potty breaks every hour or two, since he isn't doing it on his own. The more involved he is in his own activities, the less likely he may be to monitor his need for bathroom breaks.



angelbear
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05 Mar 2010, 8:20 pm

Jat- I think this may be the problem. 2 of the times he was listening to music and drawing on his etch-a-sketch in his room, and he called out "Mom, I need new underwear! I went pee pee in my underwear" I went in there and he was laying on the floor. I guess I have felt pretty confident that he was doing so well, that I kind of quit reminding him all of the time. Maybe I just need to get back to that for the time being and see if we can get back on track.

Tracker- I had not thought of the urinary thing, so if it does continue, I will check with the doctor.

He does have low muscle tone, and I had read in one book that sometimes these kids have a tougher time feeling the urge. Like I said, he has just been doing so well with this, that I was sort of shocked that this happened 4 times in one day!!

I guess the mystery continues......



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05 Mar 2010, 9:07 pm

I try to use social stories, which has been recommended to me and works very well with our son. It's a gentle way of supporting/encouraging, without scolding. And of course our son is a "visual learner" so it works well when I speak his language, so to speak.

Of course NT children of this age have accidents, too!! -- something I know from experience. I have relatives with NT children (boys) who have had accidents at 5, 6 , and 7-years-old. They get busy playing and don't want to be interrupted!

This last paragraph isn't directed at anyone here, I'm just reminded of something... Sadly, wetting the bed or having accidents may also be a sign of fear in young children (often fear of the father, so I've read.) I do not have any professional opinions on this or one scrap of evidence, it's just something I've read in various places and know from experience. For example, as an NT child theonly time I wet the bed was when I stayed with my father's mother -- I was frightened of her...



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05 Mar 2010, 9:45 pm

I agree it may be somethign else going on, esp for boys-- sometimes it's a physical cause and beyond his control. My daughter was potty trained real late, she had a lot of bathroom issues and wasn't fully there until she was almost five. She still doesn't want to use school bathrooms and has a fear of self-flushing toilets (sound)

that being said, I'm 35 and ong of my kids made me laugh so hard once that.... well you know :D



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05 Mar 2010, 11:24 pm

My NT daughter is almost five and she still occasionally "forgets" when she's doing something more fun than pottying. I've noticed it happens in clusters and my theory is that sometimes she gets an irritated bladder from holding it in a bit too long. Try giving him cranberry juice on days when he has accidents and see if that does the trick. It may be as simple as a mild infection making it hard for him to tell when he's about to go.



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06 Mar 2010, 1:50 am

Sounds like parts of my life.
i feel for him.


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06 Mar 2010, 3:08 am

my son would be "too busy" to go to the potty. so sometimes I'd have to pull him away from what he was doing to take a potty break. he eventually caught on.



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07 Mar 2010, 1:57 am

definitely dont scold him as others have said it has long lasting effects mum did that to me many a time as a child for things i could not help talking too loud, not making friends, interupting, going on and on about things etc it is so damaging to the person. Yiur son will grow out of it he just needs encouragement.



MsLeeLoo
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07 Mar 2010, 4:29 pm

I know with number two sometimes kids (NT and otherwise) have problems reading their bodies and realizing that they do in fact need to go. Some of it is body awareness for kids, especially those that tend to live in their heads



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12 Mar 2010, 2:04 am

My daughter has had a bit of trouble with #1 accidents and recently started having them again after months of doing really well! A few of the things we thought could be possible causes for regression:

1) New Underwear! Putting her in her old underwear seemed to help.
2) Changes in her daddys work schedule, she has always been REALLY sensitive to that and had regression in several behaviors when his work hours are shifted around.
3) Changes in her therapy schedule, we missed a few weeks of visits with her "talking Dr." who she loves, so that's another possibility.

Definitely don't scold, it is REALLY hard not to and I'm guilty of that too so please don't beat yourself up! But try to be encouraging "Oh nooo :( do you know what happened? Were you busy? Does something feel uncomfortable? Oh well, we'll try again tomorrow to stay dry all day!" and then a hug or something nice that he can handle if he is touch sensitive.

Hope that helps :) it is a tough one for sure!