does this sound familiar?

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I overheard a typical conversation between my husband and son tonight. His dad was teaching him about the guitar.

dad: "Wow, where did you hear that word?"

son: "I saw it in 'Rock Band.'"

dad: "That's really cool, I wouldn't have thought you'd know that."

son: "Dad, you know it was in Rock Band, you saw it yourself! Stop being so hard on me!"

In a minute my son was in tears, pleading with him "don't tell mom." (He often doesn't want one of us to tell the other one about something that upsets him, especially when we don't understand why he's upset.)

We're both so baffled by this sort of thing. I was listening, and there was nothing remotely mean or harsh about what my husband said.

Does this strike a chord in anyone? Any idea what makes him feel like we're being "hard on him" when we feel like we're admiring him?

i might have done similar things when i was a kid (i still do stuff like this, to be honest), and this is what would be going on in my head:

for me, it feels more reliable to ask other parents who may be currently seeing the behaviors than trust that someone else accurately remembers their motivations from 15, 25, 50 years ago when they were 5. not to mention, the person who is exhibiting the behavior may very well have a completely different interpretation of what was happening and may not recognize the description from an outside perspective.

willaful, it may be a simple matter of him not being able to interpret the conversation clearly and thus not correctly understanding your reaction or motives. i get a similar reaction from my son sometimes when i ask too many questions, altho he reacts with frustration and irritation rather than tears. i think to them it often feels more like grilling rather than simple curiosity when we ask multiple questions, especially if they answer us succinctly at the very beginning like your son did.

btw, i asked my SO about this, and he agrees with my assessment of how our own son reacts. he also adds, from his own perspective, that if he is involved with something or focused on something, the further questions are annoying because they are detracting from what hes currently doing. he will answer one question, but if you continue asking, he gets annoyed or angry at the interruption.

i do see this same reaction from our son and he will usually flat out tell me "you're bugging me!"

Katzefrau, I think you did a brilliant job of showing us parents how kids can and do read between the lines. We never mean to say or even think that between the line stuff, which is why the negative reaction from the child can be so baffling. But, when you break it down as you did, it is really easy to how kids can get to those conclusions.

I guess in the situation Willaful mentioned, a response that would have diverted the process might have been, "really, it was in the movie? I guess I didn't really notice."

Curious. Do you think that would have worked?

Yes, my son misinterprets tones. Also, many times if he hears a negative in a sentence (e.g. wouldnt've) he hears negative words/tone. I can tell by his reaction - we have head nearly identical conversations.