A happy wee boy - advice, please

Post Reply New Topic

What a fantastic resource!

I have a wee boy who is three. He had his SALT referral last week and has been referred for further assessment including general developmental delay.

The SALTs were happy with his vocabulary and his temperament but felt he often did not make appropriate eye contact and did not involve others in his play. Additionally he does not understand a lot of questions and mis-used some language.

He also has no fear at all, is extremely clumsy and can't do things like kiss, blow bubbles, skip or hold a conversation. I was reading a story about a child that jumped into a swimming pool - that's my wee man to a 't' - ran into one laughing and giggling all the way!

He is good with numbers and can recognise words

We have just managed to get him to start hugging properly because we say "hug with your arms"!

He is very happy and sociable, though and has a great sense of humour. He enjoys books and TV programmes (though they tend to be ones for younger kids such as Night Garden and Teletubbies).

I would say he is somewhat dominated by his 5-year-old brother!

He is very affectionate. As I said, he can't kiss but moves his head in towards yours.

He likes other children, but a lot of them don't seem to like him. He will say "hello" at nursery but a lot of them will ignore him and one or two even hit him!! !

When he was at toddler group he never got involved in any fights which I thought was a good thing due to his non-aggressive nature but the SALTs seemed to see this as an inability to get involved in rough and tumble with other kids.

As an aside, my elder son does well at school but his teacher has expressed concern to me about his 'flapping', not sure if she is trying to tell me more.

TBH, when I'm researching Autism and Aspergers I see a lot more of my husband, my son and myself than I do of my youngest.

Any suggestions?

He has hit all of his other milestones okay, although on the slow side (ie, walked at 14 months, first word at 12 months, toilet trained at 2 years 10 months).

Thanks in advance.

Flapping is not something NT's do. If your older son is flapping when he's upset, you need to get him checked out.

Not so much because he could be autistic, but because he could be UPSET, and be trying to communicate that as best he can. So if school is hard on him, it's your job as a parent to find out what is wrong and how to make it better.

You're younger son sounds wonderful, I'm not sure what advice you want/need.. so I don't have any to give. Seems like he's a happy kid and you're doing a good job as a parent.

Hiya, Ilovemysons! You bought back a memory for me! My son would never smile. To get him to smile for photos, we'd say "show me your teeth!" LOL - was the closest thing to smiling for him. I have 100s of photos with him grimacing and the rest are of him frowning. "hug with your arms" is really cool! Love it.

Hi

If your son's school's anything like my daughter's, they wait for the parents to suggest something then agree - I don't think they want to upset anyone. When you say the teacher mentioned the 'flapping' and you felt she was trying to say something, it reminded me of when my daughter's teacher mentioned eye contact and said no more about it. At that time, ASD hadn't even entered my thoughts, so it went totally past me. It was a few months later before I realised she had been trying to suggest ASD.

As for your younger one, he sounds like a great wee character, whether he has ASD or not. He sounds very like my 5yr old daughter and she's an amazing little person. She's way different from average, but there are many more positives than negatives. She's being assessed at present, but as time is going on I'm becoming more convinced that Aspergers is a definite. Like with your son, she's very friendly and has a huge personality. But, when she says 'Hello', the other children often just stare back at her. She'd never do anything to hurt another living creature and doesn't deserve this disrespect. Friendships and the possibility of bullying are the only things that really worry me.

Good luck.

PS Where are you from? You sound Scottish.

Your son sounds lovely! He makes me smile, in many ways he reminds me of my son. He hit some of his milestones even later than your lad... wasn't properly toilet trained until he was just over two, didn't walk till he was twenty two months, first words at eight months, two weeks, then shut up and didn't say a word until he was three and a half... But he's fine now. Still "odd", still picked on a bit by other kids, but he now has friends at school, and even a girlfriend! Don't worry at all, your lad will be fine.

Thanks, everyone.

Vivienne - my five-year-old just tends to flap when he's over-excited?? He is very, very articulate and has no problems communicating. I think for him, at this stage, there are no real problems other than that he's a bit eccentric and he's in the top group at school for reading and writing although he's one of the younger ones so am sort of inclined to leave that alone at present. If he's upset, he lets you know and you know why. Usually because he is not getting his own way!

Mgran - my five-year-old also spoke a few words at 12 months then shut up until he was 24 months but since then - as I said to Vivienne - we can't shut him up!!

Mummy_of_Peanut - You hit the nail on the head with the disrespect, especially when it is not in your child's nature to beat up other children!!

Psychohist - my three-year-old got annoyed with his big brother last night, shouted at him and hit him?!?!?! !

Anni - LOL @ the thought of your wee man posing for photos!!

I really enjoyed reading your stories about your children and find them very reassuring - thanks for taking the time to share them.

We are quite an eccentric family so we are going to have eccentric children, just a bit worried about the wee one's lack of understanding and inability to communicate just now.