PLEASE HELP...Does my baby have autism?

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Nathansmommy1
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06 Mar 2010, 10:34 am

So my son is 14 months old. He has been in physical therapy since he was 6 months with Early intervention. He had tortecolous which is all better now. These therapist work on a variety of disorders. He was up for a revaluation of services and they noticed that there may be some developmental issues with him. They basically just said at this time he is a little slow for his age and would like start other therapy to work on his speech and motor skills. Yesterday the therapist asked me to take him to a pediatric neurologist. That he has some symptoms of autism. She said she was in no way diagnosing him with it, 1.) she is not a doctor and 2.) he does things autistic kids wouldnt do. Needless to say i am worried out of my mind now and have been reading online and i think i am worse off now than i was yesterday. I figured i would sign up here and try to get some answers from people who really know about autism.

The things he does that makes me think he doesnt have autism:

hugs, he laughs all the time. He could just be sitting watching tv by himself and he thinks something is funny he belly laughs. I play peek a boo with him and he laughs at that too.
He knows when i leave the room or house, he cries, he tries to look for me. If i put him down or walk over to him he puts his arms up for me to pick him up. He will sit with me watching tv. If i sit down with him he will come over and sit on me and watch tv.
When i say "come come" he will get up and walk over to me.

The things he does that are questionable:
He makes eye contact but it is limited. He will stare at me just fine if there is nothing going on around him.
He plays with wheels on toy cars or trucks. Flips them over and will play with them, sometimes licking the wheels as he spins it. Although he doesnt do much of the licking thing anymore but he did at one point.
He doesnt say mama or nana anymore. he never said dada as he is not in the picture. He used to day it al the time between 10 to 12 months. He babbles alot, i think he says good now. I always say good boy or say good when he walks to me, i think thats where he gets it from. Mostly just ga sounds but i think that is what he is trying to say.
He doesnt imitate.
He doesnt try to play with me when i try playing with his toys with him.

He comes to his name or turn his head maybe 70% of the time. sometimes he does ignore me though.

So thats all i can think of right now. Sorry for the lengthy post but but without describing everything i think its hard to get the big picture. If anyone has any experience with this, please, please let me know what you think. Good or bad i want to know.

THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE![b]



LipstickKiller
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06 Mar 2010, 11:08 am

It's difficult to tell with a child that young, especially with comorbid conditions. I'll give you my experience as the mother of one autistic and one 'normal' child.

My autistic son was very cuddly and happy but not around strangers. He was dreamy and responded slower. He imitated me, but much less than my other son. He made eye contact fine, but not the same way as his brother. He often looked puzzled, as if he was trying to figure me out, not as if he was trying to connect.

He had about five words at 14 months, so did his brother. When he was older he started echoing. At 5 his speech is pretty much normal, but he has been delayed.

Is this your first child? It's so hard to tell when you haven't raised anyone else. I can see much more 'abnormal' or delayed behavior now that I'm also raising a 'normal' baby.



Nathansmommy1
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06 Mar 2010, 11:17 am

This is my first son. I have a niece and a nephew but other than them i havnt been around children that much. I am the youngest of 8 so i have no little brothers or sisters that i watched grow up either.

I guess what I was thinking was that his therapist said they lose their speech sometimes. So yes Nathan used to say mama and doesnt now, will he lose what he does do now? Like cuddle, kiss or laugh?

Your son's speech is pretty normal? what are his difficulties?



angelbear
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06 Mar 2010, 12:04 pm

He is still a bit young, so I think it could go either way. If the therapists are noticing things, I would take it into consideration since they work with little kids all of the time. If he is on the spectrum, the sooner he begins intervention the better. And to tell you the truth, if he is just a little developmentally delayed, the therapy will only help.

My son is now almost 5 yrs old. He was very delayed in walking(21mos) I was taking him to therapy for that, and then they started asking me different questions:
1) Is he pointing to things?
2) Is he showing you things?

My son actually had many words at 14 mos. He said words and babbled. But what we noticed, was that he was not really using the words to communicate with us. He was just sort of talking at us.
The other thing my son started doing at 12 mos old was to lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling fan and flap his hands. He also never really played with toys. However, he was always lovable and cuddly and he had good eye contact. He never really seemed to "get" things like other kids his age. As time went on it became more and more obvious to me that he just had very little interest in other children. He also began repetitively saying words over and over. He would repeat everything that he heard others saying (echolalia)

I continued getting therapy for him and the therapists kept gently encouraging me to take him to a developmental pediatrician. We had to wait several months to get in. So at 2.5 yrs old, we finally brought him, and he was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified) which is actually a form of autism.

I can totally relate to the emotions you are experiencing. I would go back and forth thinking he was autistic to the
next day thinking he was not. I was reading everything that I could find on the subject. I was literally driving myself crazy. He would make little improvements and then I would think that he could not possibly be.

My advice to you is to keep working with your son as much as possible. Try to keep him engaged as much as you can. I would keep up the therapy, and then try to schedule an evaluation. Sometimes you have to wait a while, so you can still wait and see if he continues to improve. Even if he is diagnosed, the doctor is going to prescribe therapy, so you will already be on the right track.

I know this is a very scary time for you, but try to remain strong, and love and enjoy your son as much as you can. That will be very helpful to him. And know that the potential is there for him to improve and get better if he is diagnosed.

My son is almost 5, and he has been in therapy since he was 1. He is now speaking in full sentences, and he has been going to pre-k for 2 yrs. He can have some back and forth conversation. We still struggle with the play, but he has gotten so much better.

You have come to the right place for support. Wrong Planet has been a huge support and comfort for me

Blessings to you and your little boy!



angelbear
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06 Mar 2010, 12:13 pm

Also keep in mind that all children do develop at a different pace. A friend of mine has a little girl who is almost 2. At 14 mos., she only had a few words. She was not eating very well--(would not eat solid foods) My friend started taking her to speech therapy to work on the eating, and now she is saying lots of words and seems to be progressing fine. So since your son is still so little, I think you can give him a little time to catch up, but just keep your eye on things---

I can relate to you only having one child. My son is my only child, and for a while, I knew in my heart that something was wrong, but everyone just kept telling me he is just a little slow. Also, the thing I have learned from my niece and nephew and other kids, is that most kids have issues and strange quirks and behaviors at some point. My nephew who is 9 mos older than my son had way more tantrums and meltdowns than my son, and he is fine!! !



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06 Mar 2010, 12:25 pm

Hi there.

The first thing I would say is this... don't worry. There are different levels of autism, and having a child on the spectrum isn't the end of the world. My son is aspie, and he had speech delays, motor delays, etc.

Even though he's aspie, he's still a lovely person, and I wouldn't change him for another child.

He's bright, he loves his hobbies, is able to learn subjects to a very deep level, and really enjoys study. He loves nature, animals, music, and because he has to work at understanding social situations he's actually far more considerate than most boys his age.

What I'm saying is, if the worst came to the worst, your son is obviously able to communicate and contact you in his own way... eye contact, laughing, smiling... Don't worry, he won't grow up incapable of loving life. I think that's what most of us worry about for our kids, that they'll have a hard life. But it sounds like your boy has had a lovely start... he's well loved, he's getting intervention early, he's already laughing and smiling...

Don't worry.

Also, it might be worth considering that some of his issues may be due to his previous health problems. My husband had surgeries as a baby, and apparently this really affected how he behaved round adults not his parents. He didn't quite trust them. My husband grew up fine.

Come to that, so did I (I was diagnosed autistic as a child) and my son is also doing okay.

So don't imagine it's a life sentence, children are constantly changing, and a kid on the spectrum can be a lovely person who gives and receives joy.

I wish I could reassure you, but I'll have to settle for a cyberhug.



Polgara
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06 Mar 2010, 12:30 pm

Some of the things you describe could possibly be related to autism.

The good thing is, if it is, you are catching it early and that can be very helpful. My son was not diagnosed until 5th grade. I didn't know squat about autism, I just knew TV shows about fan-gazing plate-spinners, and although I know there were issues, and a lot of problems in school, it took that long for the "experts" to suggest getting him looked at and then he was diagnosed. Appropriate therapies when he was much younger could have helped so much.

If it is autism, remember that although it can't be "cured", early help can give him skills to do better than he would without them. I have seen articles on some very helpful therapies. If it's one-on-one, caring, non-threatening, not harsh, kids have shown significant progress in their interactions and appropriate behavior.

If anyone suggests weird diets, strong drugs, or treatment that sounds scary, think hard and do a lot of research. Google is your friend. Every weird idea for treatment has its proponents, but none of them has been proven to work.



allennorde
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06 Mar 2010, 3:12 pm

Hello Nathansmommy. I'm 67 years old. Allow me to share some conclusions.

The Origin and Meaning of Autism & The Secret Of Life

The physiology of autism may be an affliction of the professionals, not the observed autistic child!

The professionals and the observed autistic child may perceive reality in diametric contradistinction.

To the professionals and observers everything is many, To the autistic child:

Everything is One…You
You create two, three…Me.
Reality defined as thought, energy, experience, matter and objects are willfully created by Your sentient consciousness.
Time, distance, motion, change, and choice are created illusion.
Light and the universe originate from You.
You are much greater than the outline of Your body.

The beauty and placid serenity of this perception is as resilient and resistant to the observed autistic child as is the perception of the confusing and chaotic “everything is many” to the observers and professionals.

The autistic child intentionally and willfully does not create “Self”, “I am”, or “me” out of consciousness before, during or after the perceived expulsion from the womb, and is physically one with the universe/environment while the perception of the autistic child by the observers or professionals is a dividing organism (birth) in the observer’s own likeness with sentient temporal distance & differences of the professionals own creation!

As the professionals perceive or witnesses a birth as a dividing event, separate and outside of “self”, they also witness or perceive the autistic child as a defective being, separate, and outside of their “self” not realizing and resisting/denying the fact that the child creates, and senses no differences, and is physically – and literally - one with every thing. . .

The specific therapy by the professionals to require the observed autistic child to adopt the perception of “everything is many”, is to convince and persuade the child by working one-on-one and eliminating, and/or diminishing, all intrusive stimuli, light, sound, odors, etc. (consider a hyperbaric sensory deprivation chamber), as they become glaring, hurtful, and disruptive respectively, so that the child eventually perceives that creation of “self”, “I am”, “me”, is a viable option, subsequent to becoming one of the many!

Otherwise and most profoundly, the professionals have the option, and opportunity to acknowledge and adopt the perceived reality of “Everything is One…You”, following the lead of the child to develop and maintain the science, art, metaphors, tools and technologies of eliminating “self”, “I am”, “me” in order to create an alternative reality, universe, dimension, illusion and experience one organism…You!


The autistic perception is the unrecognized evolution of mankind being One organism…You!


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Everything is One...You.
You create two, three...me.
You are much greater than the outline of your body.


psychohist
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06 Mar 2010, 3:37 pm

Nathansmommy1 wrote:
The things he does that are questionable:
He makes eye contact but it is limited. He will stare at me just fine if there is nothing going on around him.
He plays with wheels on toy cars or trucks. Flips them over and will play with them, sometimes licking the wheels as he spins it. Although he doesnt do much of the licking thing anymore but he did at one point.
He doesnt say mama or nana anymore. he never said dada as he is not in the picture. He used to day it al the time between 10 to 12 months. He babbles alot, i think he says good now. I always say good boy or say good when he walks to me, i think thats where he gets it from. Mostly just ga sounds but i think that is what he is trying to say.
He doesnt imitate.
He doesnt try to play with me when i try playing with his toys with him.

To be honest, none of these sound like strong signs of autism at 14 months. The slight speech and motor delay may be due to the tortecollis, which probably delayed the push up - crawl - walk sequence a bit and could have delayed learning of how to make some sounds, it's good that was taken care of early. Taking him to a pediatric neurologist may be a good idea just in case, but I wouldn't worry too much just yet.



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06 Mar 2010, 3:41 pm

I know that this is off-topic and of less importance (I know I'm weired but I'm trying to help) but the American Academy of Pediatrics discourages kids under two watching TV ( http://www.aap.org/sections/media/toddlerstv.htm ). Also keeping a TV turned on while the toddler is playing interferes with his ability to direct attention to the games he is playing and also should be avoided.



Hethera
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06 Mar 2010, 3:58 pm

I was just about to say exactly what Wedge says. TV-watching fiddles with a young child's neurological and speech development. I know playing on the floor with kids is boring (at least for me! I never know what to do with them other than reading books) but it really helps any child, NT or otherwise, with language and social development. It's also been recommended that you narrate what you are doing around the house so that they learn vocabulary and speech patterns. I don't know how much TV baby is exposed to, but if you have it on for more than a half-hour a day (even just watching your own stuff while he plays nearby) that could be interfering with his speech development. Supposedly the background noise makes it difficult for babies to learn to distinguish the sounds in human speech.

As for the possible ASD indicators you listed, the lack of imitating and the wheel-spinning are the only ones that really stand out. I know they were the first sign of my son's ASD, but it wasn't until about 18 months when he still wasn't walking and spent hours lining up toys that anyone thought there might be something different about him. The limited attention is pretty normal at that age, and the speech issues could be significant but aren't necessarily limited to ASD. My daughter, who is RIDICULOUSLY neurotypical, also "lost" speech shortly after the one-year mark. I talked to her doctor about it and we ascertained that a recent move and my pregnancy had stressed her out. Apparently, big life changes like a move can affect children's development regardless of their neurological makeup. At almost 5, she is very loquacious and you would never know she lost half her vocabulary at 14 months.



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06 Mar 2010, 4:12 pm

I read your post again, and noticed your question about will he lose what he knows in regards to cuddling, kissing, or laughing? I really don't think so. One of my biggest fears when my son was so young and I thought if he gets diagnosed with autism, he won't even know I am his mom, and we won't have a relationship. Not true. My son gives the best bear hugs and gives me kisses on the cheeks. He is and always has been very lovable. So I would not worry about that. My son definitely knows that I am his mom and we do have a relationship! It may be a little different than other kids, but he is mine and I adore him!



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06 Mar 2010, 4:36 pm

Kids who are high on the spectrum will do all sorts of things that don't fit in with the standard vision of autism. Your son is still so young ... who knows. And, maybe ... do you really need to know?

I would never in a million years have thought my son could be on the spectrum when he was 14 months old. I had this amazing baby - a whole lot of work, but amazing. Early on many milestones, incredibly engaged with the world, and very much loving to hug and kiss and have human interaction.

That child is still my son, but we now know he also has Aspergers.

So what happened? Looking back, he was always "different." It was generally attributed to his being some future genius, but he was still different. He never regressed with language, but he DID freeze in time on many developmental areas, and was always a "hand full." Do I wish I had known then what I know now? Not really. The best thing any parent can do for a child that age is to allow them to be themselves, and to engage with them as they are. Tuning into your child and reacting accordingly is something a parent should be doing regardless of if their child is AS or NT or alien ;).

What would I recommend to any parent of a very young child given the current awareness of autism?

1) Do not fear it. These children are growing up very differently from those diagnosed just a decade ago.
2) Understand that sensory issues are quite real, and do not push your child through experiences that everything in him seems to be resisting (amusement park rides, TV noise, etc). I have a personal theory that some regression may be a defensive reaction to a world that is confusing or even painful to the child, and is done so subconsciously that they are not aware they have done it.

3) Do not fall into the over-treatment trap. There are so many questionable "cures" out there, and a huge amount of guilt placed on parents to "do everything they can." Tune it all out. Do your own research and remember, always, that a toddler will benefit most from a mother that takes the time to see the world through his eyes.

4) Don't let other parents tell you what is best for your child (and that includes me ;) ). If you've tuned into your child as best you can, you will know (more often than not) what is best for your child. There is no, "he'll never sleep on his own if you let him in your bed," and so on ... there is just you and your understanding of what your unique child needs. Will he play up wants that are not real needs in the hopes of getting what he wants? Of course he will. You get to sift through that and decide which is which, best you can, and move forward with confidence that you've done the right thing by the one child. It is amazing how much pressure there is to do things a certain way, and if it turns out your child is autistic, well, often that certain way will actually be destructive. So skip it all. Give him the benefit of a mom who is listening to him, what he wants, and what he needs, and not the outside world.

5) Take advantage of what is offered to you through the system, as long as it doesn't strike you as having potential negative consequences and is being offered to you, not sold. You don't need to medicate your child, or put him through days of crying to learn to clap to a song, but if he qualifies for an early intervention preschool, and you feel good about the program ... take it.

6) Trust your instincts. No one will know him better than you do.

7) Soak in and enjoy every moment of his infant years. They don't last long, and the age of 1 is an incredible, wonderful time.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


2ukenkerl
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08 Mar 2010, 10:43 pm

He sounds too young, and not involved enough to have cdd. He doesn't seem to have anything that says autism. Having autism doesnn't mean you are dumb, or progress slowly, and progressing slowly doesn't mean you have autism.



Sugarleaf
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09 Mar 2010, 9:14 am

My son has autism but he loves to be hugged. He often comes over to give me a kiss. He has his own sense of humor and is learning how to read.

His teachers have always said he is a real puzzle! academically he is exceeding expectations, for him the main issue seems to be interacting and communicating with other people. He loves to be with other kids, he just doesn't seem to "get" how to play with them, games, etc. Fortunately the kids in his class love and accept him. I am so thankful for that. He's even had a few little girls send him pictures and notes.

Just want to encourage you, autism doesn't always follow the same course with everyone. Don't be afraid.

I second "DW a mom"'s post! :D



oncebitten
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09 Mar 2010, 10:10 pm

Don't stress over it too much. He's still young and there are so many factors involved that a REAL diagnosis probaly couldn't be done at this point unless there was some major profound characteristics.

My daughter was cuddly, on her terms. Had absolutely no fear of strangers - ever. She wasn't afraid of anything. She never crawled - she climbed. She spoke - but there were some speech issues - and small motor skills problems. She did speak her own language - and quite fluently - unfortunately no one could understand what the heck she was talking about. She was a 'rocker' and absolutely refused to respond to us when we called her - she seemed to have her own agenda and was oblivious to everything around her... These things became more profound as she grew. Noting was really obvious when she was younger. By the time she was 3 and in preschool it was hard not to see the difference.

You may want to check your local school district to see if there are any pre-school, head start or Mommy and Me programs available for very young children. In our school district my daughter being developmentally slow in certain areas made her qualify for certain programs through the school. I think the important thing is that you are aware of some issues that you should monitor and if you can take advantage of any programs that are available your son (and you) will have the advantage of getting a head start on whatever extra help and expertise that may be needed in his individual case.