Adoption and AS
I don't know if I have AS. I am going next Monday to be evaluated.
I have 2 kids right now, and my husband and I want to have more kids but we want to adopt.
My question is, does anyone know if an official dx of AS will limit my chances to foster or adopt in the future? Will I be passed over for placement regardless of my actual parenting skills or other qualifications (I have a degree in child psychology)?
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You may have just been given horrible advice. Proceed with caution.
"I refuse to answer on the grounds that I don't know the answer." - DA
I really don't know.....good Question.
Me and hubby adopted 2 boys.....I'm sure my hubby is somewhere above or around AS on the spec....never knew anything about this.
Now my oldest son has AS and the pdoc said that my husband will be much better understanding and giving advice to our son......only problem is my hubby isn't very good with talking about emotions!
I think I would have waited with giving formal diagnosis regarding AS to agencies.....It's difficult enough to get kids without any extra things!
But be honest about how and who you are...Bio parents have sometimes strange prefrences!
May I ask why you decided to adopt rather than have bio kids.....don't have to answer if this is to personal!
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Married to a great supportive hubby....
Little dd has ADHD with loving personality and addores his older brother! Little dude diagnosed with SID and APD.
Oldest son, 10 yrs old, diagnosed with AS and anxiety and OCD traids
I don't have an answer either and I don't know where you are thinking of adopting from but out of curiosity I checked the guidelines for adopting a baby from China and it says you have to be "physically and metally healthy," which is loose enough that I can imagine them saying AS disqualifies you.
Is there any particular reason you are going for the evaluation NOW? When are you planning to adopt the kid? If you are getting evaluated just to satisfy your curiosity why not wait till you adopt a kid?
Good questions.
My two kids I have are biological. I have always been interested in adopting, since I was a small child. I have spent a lot of time working with orphans. I want a larger family, but I have already experienced the pregnant/natural labor/newborn baby thing and I feel like I got my fill. I would rather take in another kid who doesn't have a home, someone who is already here, and give him or her a spot in the world.
International adoption, ESPECIALLY from China, has far more restrictions than local or foster adoption. Honestly, adopting from China is very difficult. If you have ever needed a wheelchair in your entire life for any reason, for instance, you are instantly ruled out. If you are too fat, you are instantly ruled out. (And their BMI rules are pretty stringent. I am only 5 pounds heavier than what is considered a normal weight for my height, and I would probably not be able to adopt from China because of this.)
I have always been able to emotionally connect with children. My own children are the only people in the world who I intuitively understand without having to process. I am naturally affectionate and patient with kids. I get overwhelmed by sudden movements and noises but I am old enough now I am able to keep my reactions under control. I feel like my family would have a lot to offer any child, adopted or biological, and I love the idea of giving a child a new start at life. I would also be open to adopting an aspie (I was even before I considered I might be one) which might give me an edge as many people wouldn't be.
We aren't looking to adopt within the next couple of years, we're thinking maybe three or four years from now. I have wondered my whole life if I was autistic and it's really started to creep up in the last three years or so. Whatever it is that I have, my brain is wired differently. I knew that before I could even talk. Whether it's AS or something else, I'm fundamentally different from the people around me and I know it. I would really, really like to know why. I would really like to know if there is something that can be pinpointed and say hey, you fit into this group. I've never fit into a group before. I have no reason to seek a diagnosis except that I really, really, really want to know.
Maybe that's selfish of me, I don't know. I just really want to know.
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You may have just been given horrible advice. Proceed with caution.
"I refuse to answer on the grounds that I don't know the answer." - DA
I'm going to be VERY honest, sorry if I might sound discriminating...I'm not....
In our country....South Africa.....there isn't a lot of caucasian babies available...The waitinglist is 5-7 yrs. Some one I know is married to a husband who suffers from Scisophrenia...they directly told them that the standerds for adopting a caucasian baby is very high and they will not be able to but if they want to adopt a transcultural child, this will be very easy!
They then adopted 2 coloured boys and are very happy!
IMO this is racist and discriminating...but unfortunatly this is the truth!
So...it's not as simple as a yes or no....
_________________
Married to a great supportive hubby....
Little dd has ADHD with loving personality and addores his older brother! Little dude diagnosed with SID and APD.
Oldest son, 10 yrs old, diagnosed with AS and anxiety and OCD traids
I can see that. Most white people want white babies, and most people who want to adopt are white. That's just numbers.
I am open to adopting transracially, though...we have considered from Ethiopia before.
_________________
You may have just been given horrible advice. Proceed with caution.
"I refuse to answer on the grounds that I don't know the answer." - DA
I'm part of an amazing adoption forum....don't know the link but it's About adoption.com...or something. Just |Google adoption forum...it's the first big one at the top ussualy. What I love about this forum is that you can direct questions to adoptive parents or adoptees or bio parents...exct.
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Married to a great supportive hubby....
Little dd has ADHD with loving personality and addores his older brother! Little dude diagnosed with SID and APD.
Oldest son, 10 yrs old, diagnosed with AS and anxiety and OCD traids
I don't know...seems like you are really asking for trouble. Why do something just to satisfy your curiosity which could come back and bite you at some point in the future?
The online tests don't satisfy you? Usually people who go through formal testing do it because they need services such as housing.
No, I don't like self diagnosing.
I am in school right now, pre-med at a university, and they have a formal help groups for adults with Aspergers. I still struggle a lot in a lot of areas and could really use some help. But I asked, and you have to have a DX from a Dr to get help from the group.
_________________
You may have just been given horrible advice. Proceed with caution.
"I refuse to answer on the grounds that I don't know the answer." - DA
Your last post makes sence....seems as if diagnosis is important to you...go for it!
If adoption doesn't work out...at least you have your 2 kids?
_________________
Married to a great supportive hubby....
Little dd has ADHD with loving personality and addores his older brother! Little dude diagnosed with SID and APD.
Oldest son, 10 yrs old, diagnosed with AS and anxiety and OCD traids
No, I don't like self diagnosing.
I am in school right now, pre-med at a university, and they have a formal help groups for adults with Aspergers. I still struggle a lot in a lot of areas and could really use some help. But I asked, and you have to have a DX from a Dr to get help from the group.
Ok, that makes sense. Good luck.