shoelaces

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How old were your kids when they learned to tie their shoes? DS (dear son, is that right?) is almost 7 and I have to send him to school in velco shoes because he can't seem to get the hang of it. I can't send him in lace-ups because when I do, no one will help him with them in school and he comes out at the end of the day with both shoes untied. It makes me a little peeved at his teacher, especially since his class is very small and I know she COULD give him a hand.
Anyway, thoughts on this? He practices at home, but only if I make him. Then he gets frustrated quickly and quits. Is it terrible that he can't do it yet? I feel like it's not TOO terrible yet, but it's getting there.

That's horrible that the teacher won't help! Do you live in the USA? If so, I think you should suggest putting it on his IEP.

Try double knotting the laces. They won't come undone.

This has come up before - we still send DS in elastic "triathalon" shoelaces, although he finally conquered shoe-tying one summer (I think between 3rd or 4th grade) when he was really motivated to get a pair of black shoes.

You can get all kinds of locking shoelaces online and put them on any kind of lace-up shoe. Let's face it, the locking shoelaces will work all the way through adulthood and then they're unlikely to need tied shoes anyway. I fretted and worried over this and finally realized that it wasn't that important, and that DS would do it when he was darn well good and ready just like everything else I freak out about. I also bought those locking closures for swimming trunks and sweatpants that have tie closures, they don't require sewing to be added to an existing tie: http://www.rei.com/product/611240/rei-e ... cks-4-pack

If I had things to do over again, I'd make sure that some of DS's preschool toys were the ones where parts opened and closed with different closures: we still have trouble with buttons, buckles, belts and tying even though he can do all of them well enough that I don't worry about it. In retrospect, he'd have benefited from a longer, broader time to practice these skills. (Same goes for bikes - I'd have gotten him one of those pedal-less bikes very early on if I had it to do over.)

However, it all worked out. Hang in there!

My 8 yr old can tie them but get frustrated very easily and they often are untied and it's a nightmare. However, he only likes lace up shoes because they are 'cool'. We found some converse high tops that look like lace ups but they are elastic laces. Not sure if they have them where you are located.

Also, check online for YouTube videos of different methods of tying them...often my son just mechanically does things differently and so I have to just find what works. I hear other kids finding bunny ears easier. Don't feel bad that he doesnt have the hang of it yet, and don't let him feel too bad. I always tell my son, practice makes perfect. And he will get it soon. Good luck!

my 6yo learned in less then a week, and CAN do it but whines, complains, and hates to tie his shoes!

Every kid is different in their visual-spatial skills and fine motor skills. Most kids can learn by 2nd grade, but I know some kids who took until 3rd.

Breaking it down step by step is helpful. At first have them just do the initial cross over and loop under, then finish the rest for them. Once they can do that, have them do the cross over and the first loop. After that have them make the loop and push the lace through the hole to make final loop. That last step is the hardest, but they will get there eventually. Provide a lot of opportunities to practice, allowing extra time to put on shoes before you leave.

Yep, DS is dear son and I think we are going to be using velcro for quite some time

I was 8 before I got the hang of it. My grandmother was the one who finally got it through my head, she was always good with me like that, she made up a song for me so I could remember it. (I also got the toothbrushing thing down from her, count to 100 )

The trick was that once I learned to tie them, was to always double knot them which she taught me to do. I don't remember them coming undone that way, except for the very rare occasion.

One thing that a lot of teenagers do is tie their shoes loosely. That way you can just slip your foot in. I don't remember having issues tying my shoes. When I was around 13 my stepdad saw how I was taught to tie my shoes and thought it was crazy. The way he showed me was much easier.

what worked for his having him sit in my lap and showing him from the perspective he will be seeing when he is tying his laces. When you show them and you are facing them it is a different perspective.

I wouldnt just blow it off casue a kid has fine motor or VMI issues. My DS gets OT for fine motor and VMI, and I almost didnt try to teach him for those reasons. BUT I decided to show him evey day, and if it took 3 years, then so be it! Much to my surprise, it took him less then a week. Of course he HATES to tie his shoes, and I found that LONG laces work the best for my son, if they are too short he cant tie them.

good luck!

Nine going on ten and my daughter wears elastic laces and velcro. The few shoes she owns with laces she only wears when we are together for family time events and they are always double tied. With dyspraxia issues she may never master lace tying or she may just suddenly one day get it. We are slowly working on the mechanics of tying a robe closed so its a work in progress.

With the choices in shoes these days, I'd say don't sweat it. Go the velcro/ elastic laces route and move on to something that is actually important.

Sorry, I'm not a parent, but it took me until I was about 8 to learn to tie my shoes. I learned using the "bunny ears" method, which is making two loops and then tying the loops together. It doesn't make quite the same knot, but it works.

I didn't actually learn the method with one loop until I was 16. I just couldn't do it until my motor skills caught up. But I wanted to wear shoes with laces like all the other kids so my parents made me practice and practice until I'd managed to master the bunny ears.

My husband ties his shoes using the "bunny ears" method. The first time I saw it, I said, "What are you doing? That's not how you tie shoes!"
I'm gonna blame DS's shoelace problems on him.

My son was around ten when he learned to tie his shoes, and Velcro was the solution until then. He learned because his five-year old little buddy needed help with his shoe lace one day, and rather than tell the younger child he couldn't do it, he just sat down and got it done. He was really proud of himself.

But this is not something he will ever do quickly or efficiently, and that is true for many ASD kids, so momsparky's note about the triathlon bungee laces is important to remember. The shoe lace speed issue becomes real important when you hit middle school PE, and until we found the triathlon laces my son was often tardey for the class following PE.