How to help my Aspie son avoid Depression

Post Reply New Topic

He's a beautiful, spirited, hilarious 10 year old. More full of life than anyone else I know, on the spectrum or neurotypical.

He's flourishing in his self-contained 4th grade public school class, with an active peer group who loves and respects him, etc... Right now, it's really an ideal situation. But it's going to change radically next year. Another story.

But he has his outbursts and lack of emotional regulation and dark thoughts every so often. And I know how prevalent Depression is amongst adolescent aspies, (and neurotypicals for that matter). And this has caused me to think about how to be proactive in helping ward off depression before it gets its bony fingers around him.

I'm his dad. I love him more than words can express. Just looking for some helpful tips on ways to engage him, things to say, advice, wisdom nuggets, etc...

Thanks in advance.

P.S. I suffer from anxious-depression.

Social Skills classes, after school activities, encouraging his interests.

Those are def ways you can help him be happy.

Thanks for the reply! Do you know who the best person to ask about finding social skills classes in my area?

Many states have Regional Centers for Autism that would be a good place to start. If your state doesn't have one of those, try Easter Seals, that is the org that runs them here where I live. You could also ask the teachers at his school, they are likely to know who is providing treatment options for special needs kids outside of school.

I personally am trying to teach mindfulness to both of my boys (6 yo with HFA and 9 yo NT) with the long term goal being that they have control over their thought processes. The negative trains of thought that we all find ourselves in from time to time can be mitigated with practice. Not that you should just push negative thoughts aside or try to squash them but you can learn to recognize your thoughts and emotions for what they are without dwelling in the past or worrying constantly about the future. I don't think it is ever too early to start practicing living in the moment!

I really, really want to help you, but i'm not entirely sure if my suggestions will be any good.

Make sure he can talk to you about anything, so that he has someone to turn to and will never feel alone. That's what I would have wanted.

Try to make sure he has healthy coping mechanisms and outlets for negative feelings/frustration.

Help him to fit in, while also being himself as much as possible.

Make home a safe place where he can relax.

Try to ensure that he isn't being bullied, abused or taken advantage of at school etc.

Is he seeing a proffessional for the difficulties he has at the moment? If not, you could talk with him about starting (if neccessary).

If he views himself, or his ASD, in a negative light, try to help him see things in a more balanced way.

Try to build up his self-esteem as much as possible.

Erm, I hope these help. I'll come back if I think of anything else. Good luck...

A certain degree of moodiness is normal for puberty. However, Aspies are prone not just to depression from the stresses of life, but to clinical depression which is much more severe. Clinical depression means you're depressed without any situational cause. With clinical depression, you can't just "snap out of it". Sometimes exercise and other things can help, but it's usually not something you can fight off on your own. You can be happy with school and the rest of your life, but still be crushed by the lead weight of clinical depression. In that case, meds ARE needed or it will just get worse.

One thing that may help him are fish oil supplements. There's a chemical in fish oil that helps regulate mood, and I've personally found it does help. In the short term, that's good to try.

The most important thing, to me, is listening to your child and responding to his needs. Children flourish when their needs are met, and ASD kids have many needs. I feel that both my AS son and NT daughter (she is the one with mood issues) are growing up pretty happy because we've tried hard to pay attention and I've cut back from work when I'm needed by them.

You will sometimes have to make difficult choices and conform your world to your child's needs. It makes a HUGE difference, I can't even begin to say how much. It is like the world falls off your child's shoulders when they tangibly see actions that reflect your unconditional love and support.

But it won't always be in your control. I've never figured out to keep my NT daughter happy, when she just, "isn't." Sometimes there is nothing to be done (except perhaps therapy or medication), and you have to be ready for that, too. Fortunately the spells are pretty far between, but it still breaks my heart; we've talked about professional assistance but the worst seemed to pass and, so, did we.

And there can be rough years ahead. 7th grade was a difficult year socially for my son. 6th grade a difficult one academically. I saw those challenges eat at him and start to squash the light in his eyes. But he knew we were behind him, we gave him control over key decisions, and he pulled himself through it. He's back to his happy self now. But, he's always been a relatively happy kid; we just had to keep the world from destroying it (and, unfortunately, the world can try awfully hard).