need advice about challenges for 20-year old son

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I would like some help from parents and Aspies about the challenges my son may face as he grows through his 20's. He lives with me and is just finishing a trade school. He wants to be a film editor. Other days he wants to be a director.

I'm trying to explain the realities here to my lawyer who just doesn't get it. She thinks he'll find social skills therapy for free somewhere. She thinks he'll become independent in a year or so. I have to explain to her how my son's needs will impact me working full time, as well as his abilities to keep a job. My son is used to me being at home. His father is moving out of the country. We're working on how much I will have to contribute to his expenses. I can afford for him to live with me, food and clothes, but truly that's it.

Background: My son has been very depressed and suicidal. He set himself on fire a few months ago. He has no friends. He's done very well at a trade school. They can help place him in an internship or starter job. But his social skills are so bad that I worry about him not being able to handle the stress. If he has a breakdown, what do I do if I've got a full time job? I've found a therapist who works on social skills and another therapist to work on emotional things. It's out of pocket and I cannot afford it. At all. I'm freaked out.

I love my son soooo much. Maybe I protect him too much. I know I fret too much. I've always believed that he can do whatever he sets his mind to. But now, given the realities i'm beginning to wonder if he'll be able to live on his own. He very much wants to. It's what I wish for him.

This will not happen overnight! He will need help, and there won't be "research groups" to help him for free with social skills.

Can you give me your thoughts on the difficulties he will face? Help with helping him. Difficulties I will face?

I'm feeling very down right now. I'm terrified for him. I want him to get the help he needs and keep a roof over our heads as I move him towards independence.

Thanks.

If he gets a job, could he not contribute or pay for his therapy needs? I mean as you would be otherwise supporting him it doesn't seem unreasonable. If your lawyer is so sure there is free therapy available, challenge her on it and ask for details of where. Or do you have health insurance that can pay for his therapy? I am in the UK so I don't know what might be available where you are but I will do a search.

It says in this article that in your area there is a state law requiring insurance companies to cover the cost of autism therapy:

http://www.freep.com/article/20130217/N ... ort-supply

Although the article is about children I can't see why the same wouldn't apply to adults. This also might help:

http://www.henryford.com/autism

You could contact your local children's hospital service to ask them to give you contact details of services for young adults:

http://www.childrensdmc.org/Autism

This is relevant too: http://autismallianceofmichigan.org/abo ... -supports/

Maybe there are also socialising groups for Aspies or befriending services in your area?

That was so nice of you to go to that trouble for me.

What I've found is that the insurance company's therapists are real bottom feeders. If you want a good one, you pay out of pocket. We've never had insurance cover anything.

I'll look into your links. I'm still holding out hope that his dad will pay for some of this.

Thank you so much.