Circle time

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Please help me... My 6 year old DD was diagnosed with ASD/Aspergers last spring but I could see she was different pretty much from the day she was born.
She has always had problems with circle time. First it was Gymboree Play and Music when she was about 1 year old: she would play on the equipment but never join the circle time - she sat on the top of slide and watched other kids. At 2 we went to Music Class and again she wandered around when other kids were making music in a circle. Then it was ballet, choir and a few more. Now she is in grade 1 and yesterday I got a phone call from her music teacher and found out that she does not participate in it either. It looks like she is stubborn to people who do not know about her diagnosis. What can I do to help her with music class, gym and drama... We made a lot of accommodations for her at home and it works very well but school is still work in progress. I am going to go to talk to her teachers but I am lost. I have no idea how to help her. She loves music but group setting has been always a challenge for her. Please please give me some ideas that work for your kids.

You may want to consider homeschool. The nature of public school is almost like a factory that process a product. The economic considerations of such an approach often necessitate using coercive force or drugs on children who feel uncomfortable with such processing. If given the chance, your daughter should eventually come to deal with others on her own terms.

You may want to see if she has interest in a particular musical instrument. Music stores often have a bulletin board where people who give lessons advertise. You may want to help her pursue her music without the burden of group processing.

It sounds like the school is unhappy with how she fits into their grouping. Homeschool can seem scary at first, but we have done it for 17 years and could not be happier.

I do homeschool my son, he is 8 and HF Aspergers. He NEVER joined I circle time as a toddler either. He always did the activity but behind the group, on the slide, in the back, etc...never in the circle. I didn't understand then cause EVERY.OTHER.CHILD. was in the circle but mine, and that was in all different places, library group, mommy and me, music class, etc...

it took him many years longer then the average kid to understand why he should look at the teacher and sit like the other kids. Thru homeschooling and much trial and error, he learned it. LOTS of patience, lots of setting examples and him making mistakes and figuring them out. One particular homeschool music class my son used to sit with his BACK to everyone, and fiddle with his papers, but he ALWAYS knew where they were in the music. The teacher resented him for it and excluded him from a "reward for good listeners" for it. WOW, I had some talk with her about his diagnosis and how he shouldn't be penalized cause he does things different. From then on she was exceptional with him, he could sit any way he wanted as long as he was participating. While I worked with him on sitting towards the group and making eye contact with the teacher, etc...Now at 8 he is great in group activities when it comes to sitting in the group and in the right direction...lol.

good luck!

We never had any accommodations for gym or music. I don't think they really have anything other than adapted gym, which they won't give you, as far as I know, just for having sensory issues with regular P.E. You have to have issues with P.E. itself and we didn't qualify despite having some, evidently not severe enough issues in that regard.

Our school district does not have a separate class for drama until much later on. They do school productions but as a part of music class.

As far as I know, they only thing they did was enable him to opt out on days when the sensory input was too much. He would participate, otherwise, although in his own way, according to his own abilities. He really likes music theory and is very good at it. It just got too noisy sometimes. P.E was not his aptitude, but he liked getting to get a run around break, which he would sometimes do on his own, and they knew enough not to force him to do organized games when it just wasn't going to happen.

So, anyway, I guess you have to find out from her why she is not participating. If it is for sensory issues, I would respect that, and tell the school to let her opt out, if that happens. If it is for other reasons, how you deal with it depends on the reasons.

OP: Where are you located? Location can make a big difference in the type of support your child will get in the educational system. Sad, but true.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

We live in Toronto (Canada) and DD goes to our local public school.

For many reason I am not at the stage to home school her. I want to work with school to accommodate her needs.

Sigh, I wish you could come to the US. My son is in a really awesome program in NY that is great for Aspies. I don't know much about the school system in Canada. I did find this though: http://www.autismontario.com/client/aso ... +Education
I don't know if that is helpful at all...

Why isn't she participating?

You can't solve the problem until you know this.

If it is the noise, invest in headphones and show her how and when to use them. (And have her practice speaking with them on to find what it feels like to use an appropriate speaking volume while wearing headphones).

If it is proximity/touch, teach her skills to deal with them, such as: find a spot around the edge, imagine a bubble around yourself, whatever works.

If sitting still is problematic, then find appropriate fidgets or a resistance band around the legs of the chair for leg wiggling.

If she is simply uninterested, it may just be a "typical" discipline issue that has nothing to do with ASD at all.