sleeping…my son barely sleeps…need input from others with AS

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It sounds like you both have what I have, which is called Delayed Phase Sleep Disorder.
And I am going to bet it is something more pronounced in the autistic mind.
I dont think physical exhaustion is going to work and might actually make things worse.
It seems when i am psychically exhausted, my mind is even more wired.
The approach we are taking is more neurological and psychological through Sleep Hygiene.
Some nights it works and some it does not.
Now I do have trouble waking up, but not do have that much trouble staying awake in school.
I think if i was at home where it so much quieter and comfortable, I would have a much harder time staying awake.
When I come home from school, I often crash and take a one to two hour nap.

My son gets super hyper when he gets excessively sleepy. So, the AU brain may process things differently unless that is usual for everyone.

He also had a different sleep phase thing going on for a long time, and he still goes to sleep later than a typical child his age..

I am not sure whether this has been mentioned or you've tried it but we give our son Melatonin. People on the spectrum often have lower levels of melatonin which is the sleep hormone which regulates sleep patterns and basically tells the brain that it's late and time to sleep. Without it my son will still be awake at 11.30, with it, he's asleep by 9.

My son also struggles terribly with anxiety. He is unable to sleep without the cat in his room.

If I don't keep on top of when I sleep and wake up, I switch over to being a night person. The only way that I can adjust this is to go to bed late at whatever time I get tired and then be woken up early around 6 am for several days in a row, and then eventually my internal clock switches and I start to get tired earlier. I wonder if doing that would help your son. Wake him up bright and early and don't let him take any naps for a week or two even if he's tired and see if it helps at all.

Right now I'm going to bed around 1:30 am and getting up around 8:30 am. It takes me about an hour to fall asleep once I get in bed. I prefer to go to bed between 11-12 and wake up around 7-8, so I need to adjust my clock again.

I've never tried melatonin but I have heard it works well. Sleepytime tea helps me. Also taking a shower about half an hour before bed can help, and so can using lavender and/or chamomile lotions or pillow spray (unless it bothers his nose). I use the lotion on a nightly basis and only use the tea once in the while.

Last edited by Quill on 10 Feb 2014, 11:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

That's interesting. My mom said that about me when I was younger, that I would get really wound up and talkative when I was tired, and the only way she could get me to go to sleep when I was worn out was to get me to be still and quiet long enough to doze off. I wonder if that is common on the spectrum, to get hyper instead of lethargic. I'm not like that anymore though.

It sounds like him not sleeping enough does in fact cause issues during the day so here are my recommendations:
1. Start using melatonin - my 14 year old aspie daughter takes one every night and has for years to help her get to sleep.
2. Reduce overall screen time and for sure at least 1 hour before a specific bed time
3. Create a specific ritual that he finds calming - this could be music playing, a particular smell or whatever works for him - it should be something that engages his senses so his brain has something to process that isn't overstimulating - my daughter has learned that burning a particular incense will help her sleep when she has trouble and so she does that when she needs too. My other daughter listens to music as she falls asleep and it works like a charm for her.
4. Get him up later and don't let him sleep during the day - I know it is easier said then done, but he is old enough to understand that things have to get done and he has to be up by a certain time. Perhaps finding a reward he likes if he gets up at a certain time - my youngest loves it when I read her a story in the morning, but she knows that if she wants that she has to get up by a certain time because we have to leave at a certain time for school.

Having said that, you homeschool, what time are you trying to get him up and why? If you know he is going to stay up late and prefer to sleep in then perhaps you can modify your schedule to give him 'homework' to do after you have gone to bed or other things that you are usually trying to get him to do during the day.

If you have other children or other commitments that require he get up early then of course getting him to sleep earlier is your focus.

Good Luck - I hope some of the many great ideas people have given will help you out.

My 12 year old son, like me, is a night owl. It is a problem though, and there have been a couple of times in the past few months that he has been so sound asleep when I've gone to wake him in the morning that I've let him sleep on and have phoned the school to explain. On both those occasions he had been awake long after 3am, and was in a very deep sleep when it was time to get up. Fortunately, I work from home and was able to let him sleep in.

We are now working on this by having him put all technology away by a certain time - even that is pretty late though - 10pm. I know that if I go to see the doctor about having him prescribed melatonin (which my son thinks is a good idea) the first thing to be suggested will be improved "sleep hygiene". I've said to my son that we'll give that a go for a month and see how that goes.

Part of the problem is that my son spends 3 weekends out of 4 with his father, and when he's there he gets to sleep until at least midday on Saturday and Sunday. So, even if he has got himself into a reasonable pattern with me during the week, all that gets undone at the weekend. It was only the other day that I realised that this was happening. My son loves going to the football with his father, but they didn't go to the game on Sunday because it was a 12.45pm kick-off and that was too early!

My son has had problems sleeping since he was about 5 or 6 years old, and he used to get tearful about it - still does sometimes. He finds it very stressful, but can't keep his mind from running on. Physical tiredness does help a very little, but this is about what's going on in his head.

I have been doing some yoga and have started exploring meditation. What does help my son a little is relaxing music - which he found himself on Youtube - and focussing on his breathing, which I introduced him to. We talked in the past about yoga, but there aren't any classes locally for children or at a time which would be good for him. I think I'll suggest to him that we both start meditating, and hopefully that will help him calm his mind.