Should autistic parent be responsible for children after 21?

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Hypothetically speaking if a father or mother (or both) is autistic in some form and they choose to bring a child into the world knowing the much more extreme risk factors for passing on the genes syndromes. Should they therefor be held semi-responsible to have to help their child if it born to be severely autistic unable to integrate into society past 21 years old? (like help give them shelter/support/food/water) and beyond considering it was their choice not there childs to be brought into the world and their parents played a dangerous game of risk and were unable to guarantee a independent life should some forms of responsibility be past onto them as well?

What would be your plans to help your child if he is unable to get a job or qualify for disability, and unable to provide its own basic needs?

What would be your plans in place to help your children once you pass on as nobody can live forever?

Do you have someone who can look after you're child or help them once you're gone?

I myself have AS and wish to maybe someday have kids but as all this has crossed my mind that I may have a strong chance to pass on this gene I believe I would not want to have someone go through the extremely painful life experiences and possible suicidal thoughts I have been through at times being AS because I would have rather been born NT as well. I would want for my child to have a better life then me and I believe I would want to be able to make sure I can 100% certaintdy that this trait would not be passed on to my children.

Nobody can guarantee anything about children or how they will turn out.

There's an increased risk to not being able to live independantly, not a certainty. Increased 'risks' are everywhere, linked to genetic disease, cultural and sociological factors and lifestyle, etc .... If you'd raise this issue in relation to (for instance) a sociological link you'd be chastised for doing so.

It's ok that you ask yourself this question, but I don't think anyone but you can make the decision and none should force it for you, or push you into a specific direction.

I WOULD TEACH HIM OR HER ABA AS SOON AS HE/SHE IS DIAGNOSED!!

I hope this information is useful ProtossX. Loads of wrongly-assuming Aspies on here have got the COMPLETELY wrong idea, but believe me when I say that ABA CAN WORK VERY VERY WELL. I would have struggled terribly in the world and eventually (probably) end up in an asylum if I hadn't done ABA when I was a wee one. Sure, it doesn't work on every Autistic or Aspie, but IT ISN'T WRONG.

What does ABA stand for?

Cattle prodding.

Mental reprogramming.

oh, nice!

Taking care of disabled adults has various issues. It's not a pat question. Does the autistic person have the ability to request help, decide where he/she wants to live? Does the autistic person have other medical issues besides their developmental disability?

Assuming responsibility or obligation for a disabled child shouldn't be out of guilt. I didn't know I carried autistic genes or that my husband did. I never heard of Asperger's until long after my son was diagnosed autistic. In 2002, mainstream literature never brought up that parents of autistic children were likely to be autistic themselves. It said they may have some traits. Knowing now doesn't really change my mind of having kids. If I had the time and money, I'd do it again. Have more kids. They might be more affected, they might be less, they might be NT.

However, I feel being family makes one obligated. Obligated to follow their wishes. Obligated to care for one another, whether it's a disabled adult child or elderly parent.

becoming a parent to any child is a huge responsibility....doesn't matter whether you're aspie, autie or NT~ i believe you have a responsibility to do the best you can for your child.

Seriously, what does ABA stand for? I want to read more about it.

Applied Behavioural Analisys.

THIS IS ME COCKNEYREBEL:



WHY DON'T YOU GET THAT ABA ISN'T WRONG!! !!????

Both my boyfriend and I have AS diagnoses (though I'd say we're both fairly mild cases). It offends me that someone would imply that autistic people should not reproduce, or should be held to some kind of special standard if they do have an autistic child. I wholeheartedly believe that my life has been worth living, exactly as it is, despite my difficulties, and I do not want to consider the ideology of eugenics when I decide to have children. It scares me that people would condemn my choice because I know my boyfriend and I have autism spectrum genes.

On the subject of this thread, I believe that parenting is a lifelong gig whether the child is disabled or not. Parenting does not end on the eighteenth birthday or when the child graduates from college. Parents should be prepared to offer their children the support they need throughout their life. On the subject of disabled adults, why should parents alone bear the burden? Whatever happened to social responsibility? This individualistic way of looking at the (hypothetical) situation feels very alien and wrong to me. Society should be able to care for those less fortunate individuals.

my wife and I are not NT we have 2 kids who are not NT. We plan for the future, but not because none of us were born on the right planet, just because.

I have a good job, a big retirement fund, a good plan, and lots of insurance. My son has the same kind of brain as me, which I see as a good thing because I can teach him to be successful the same way as me. I have a lot of faith in my kids and I don't believe that they will have any trouble. It is a great thing for a kid to have parents who understand him, so autistics raising autistics is a good thing. I know I have it easier than any NT parents of autistics that I know.

I am an eternal optimist, but I feel like my autistic traits have been my single biggest advantage in life, they have brought me acedemic, financial, and even (oddly enough)social success and I just have a hard time seeing it as something I should prevent.

answer to origional question:


HELL YES!

but they would likely need help, after all, they are both autistic.

*I am prepared to always have a place for mine. To always HELP them to have a place of theirs. To sacrifice the rest of my life (which isnt a sacrifice) or rather to compromise MY existence for THEIR comfort and SAFE navigation of the world.
And his raising WAS my contribution. I am lucky though, he will not be unable for a job, his disability is negotiable-due to my method of raising. I've been working on his ability to work his own basic needs.
I am very lucky.
For others, I do not know. They likely have strong family ties and social services connections. I would hope.
For those falling between those cracks, I feel very sorry.

For me: partially educated, largely poor, somewhat bright, and hugely caring this means watching him for his needs and requests. From the day he was born it meant teaching him everything I could to instill his ability to carry on APPROPRIATELY if something happens to me. For instance, I largely suspect his father of suicide. I've had to address this where it was not addressed in his sire and protect him from the 'type' of upbringing and circumstances that created such action. A simple equation of cause and effect.

I don't think I've covered it well enough though. The what to do when alone in the world part.



Again, the raising process. He is also my beinificiary. As well does he have a bit of a life/education plan. A range of GOOD people in his circle. And the will to carry on and be himself. The ability to seek out answers. Humanitarianism. Hobbies. If he can recover from the actual death-he'll be just fine. If others don't rush in to do him like his father or myself. Again-He needed his inner strength. His intellectual skills. His coping skills. His fallback skills (hobbies). And HIS education. I'm not planning on checking out. That does not mean-as with anyone. That I will not be 'checked out'.



Not One of my own. Which really saddens me. My circumstances leave me without family. But HE does. All his years in this community and he has inspired the attention of some very special souls. HES going to be fine. He doesn't need 'caring for' as in home care or relative care. He would in that event need the same as has always sustained him. The few good faces and souls about to lift his spirit in the way that they do.

I haven't reached perfect standing with my own affairs yet-a future framework within HIS future for example. But here is an overview.

This year I will likely make my funeral arrangements.* I've been planning it for some years and it is only waiting on its commission. The actual action of calling the place, paying the funds, Hiring the lawyer for my affairs-so the community wont have to figure out the paupers grave:

Including him and contacts and beginnings ect for when I die. But in the big ALL of things. Its all going to be on my offspring and his ability to carry on. Likely this is the year for the big tadoos: though late. How to organize and keep all of the many things of merit to the NT world. The documentation. Of organizations and interests and actions-in preparation for a career and the inevitable exchanging of information which brings such things about.

I've had to learn all of these things myself without any DIRECT help from anyone-largely, until recently.

His father and I made a basic plan prior to his birth. After his dad's death and every day since his birth (not in that order) I've held to it, knowing it was the only right way.

This means alot of talking about the (for the commoner) "what ares" and the "fall backs" and the "eventuallities"--of life and how to live it happily and in the pursuit of. You know...those constitutional promises?

Types of schools. Ways of Applying. How to Bank. How to house. How to take a vacation, even.
We'll likely need to cover a bit more the responsibilities of marriage.

Unfortunately: I don't have old money or a big savings. The savy to 'create' these things with other than my bare hands and work and blood in places that will accept me for hire. As well as my own life skills 'issues'. But, I am doing my best. And left alone, I do this quite well. Excecution is the shortest part of planning. I am working on the savings. And teaching him to invest. And keeping myself healthy for a long time!
Like most people, the downfall is that I get distracted, unorganized, and then overwhelmed.
But your question was a great realigner!


I've spent the priority of time ensuring that he does not become an offender or a victim (thus ruing or complicating his overall happiness), AND teaching him base skills to keep him from falling under the trample of the world-by teaching him cause and effect and rewards and punishments OF EVERYTHING.


Poor kid.
I get excellent feedback on him, though.
He is well liked. I've warned him of the complications of the inevitable sabatoges of the well liked-and how to maintain his own, regardless.

He is self confident. He is handy. He can cook. He is compelled to do for himself, and enjoy his time of not doing. He makes time for friends. He is compelled to assist his community.

He has a balance between both nature and industrialization and loves them both.
Cares for good hearts and rightness. And somehow finds his place in the midst of contradiction.



Not me! Not for anything.



The trait may pass on. Because you are and you know you are you will likely already be one step ahead and able to compensate. Mine has all of his life already had as close to as better as mine as I could ever give him.

Ensuring that this lasts past my death is VERY important to me.

Thank you for this notice. I am sure a vast many people will benifit from it's reminder. It's not an easy simple job. I would suggest everyone makes sure to address this post haste.

"No rational person would disagree with this...."--Cool PostIt Sticky Found In A Box 2002