Wondering whether my son has AS or is just quirky?

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Hello, I'm new here. I have a 7 1/2 year old son who I'm not sure whether he's on the spectrum for Asperger's. I guess I'm just looking for people with similar experiences to compare him to. We live in Asia, so a lot of what you talk about in terms of schooling and services are not available here. If he is an Aspie, I guess he's on the mild side of the spectrum - I've been to talk to a paediatric psychiatrist, who seems to agree. Some friends just think he's quirky and nowadays children get labelled something or another too easily. His first grade teacher last year and my sister, think he shows some traits (when I educated them about the traits).
Basically, he's always had a 'passion' that he's been into, ever since about 3, each 'thing' lasting about a year, starting from trains, to planes to robots, to ships, this year it's Star Wars. He'll want the toys and books related to each thing, then draw and 'build' his thing out of Lego or paper or any construction toy. That's his enjoyment in life. He doesn't enjoy school because it's boring and it takes away 8 hours a day that he could be doing his own thing, to put it in his own words. But he'll do the school work and do well in his tests, just not enjoy it. He hasn't really made any friends - his first grade teacher says he comes across as aloof or superior, his current second grade teacher says because the friends don't have the same interests as he does, which is true. He just says he's shy, and doesn't like the rowdy games that the friends play (in an all boys school). There's many more details I could go into, but I'll stop here for now. So.....is this Asperger's, or just a quirky personality trait?

It's hard to tell from what you posted. Sorry. Does he have sesory isuses things too bright, loud or in the case of my son stinky < his words not mine>. Does he love/hate the texure of some things like rubbing rough bark on trees or soft thinks like cotton balls set him off? Does he have trouble with the taste/texture of some foods, does he gag alot? Would he rather not eat it if what he wants isn't there and what he is willing to eat very limited? Does he sound like a little grown-up when he speaks? Is he unable to make eye contact if so ask him if it's painful for him to do so?
He might have mild AS or he might just be a shy smart little boy ethier way I wouldn't stress about it too much he sounds like a great kid. We've all got to rember that Asperger's or even full blown autism in the cass of my younger son isn't the end of the world we haven't "lost" our kids. Much love and best of luck to you and yours

Your son sounds adorable.

For non obvious cases online diagnosis is inherently unreliable and AS varies in symptoms, your best bet is to speak to a qualified professional.

Thank you for your opinions. I absolutely agree that an online diagnosis can not be made. The professional (ie paed psychiatrist) that I had been to see was of the opinion that a diagnosis is just a label, these kids are on a spectrum anyway, and what he needed was just identifying his 'problems' and help with dealing with it. Which I think is true. Yet sometimes I'm still not sure whether his 'problems' are really a problem or just it's just how he is.
We always thought he was a bit different from other kids around him since he was little, but in a good way. From age 3 he would love drawing and would repeatedly draw his 'in thing', whether it be planes or robots etc. He would remember and draw all the little details of each model, and draw each thing from many angles/perspectives. Adults and teachers would always comment on his detail and perspective. Then he would love making and constructing things out of anything - paper, toilet rolls, etc, now Lego mostly (thankfully independently. When he was 4, it was mostly mummy buying rolls of tape and paper).

I only started thinking about AS last year when he started grade 1 in a big boys school. When he was in kindergarten, his classes were very small (like <10 kids), and teachers never said that he didn't make friends, although he would just say that he was shy. But after one semester of grade 1, came the comments from the teacher about him being aloof, and I noticed that he didn't really bond with anyone. He'll join in with physical play, like chasing each other around the class, but doesn't initiate conversation with anyone particularly. The teacher complained that he looked bored most of the time and would daydream, although he would still be able to answer any questions asked of him. He would just tell me that he finds it totally boring, and whatever he's not interested in, he doesn't want to participate. Of course, grade 1 or even 2 isn't teaching about what he's interested in, which last year were ships and pirates, and this year planes and Star Wars. He loves history, but they don't teach it yet. he went through a phase of watching History Channel a lot, which I weaned him out of, because some of the content is not entirely for 7 year olds. But he would want to know all about the Germans and the Japanese, and WW2 fighter planes and battle ships. In a way, I've heard people say that all these things are not unusual for boys to obsess about, which is true. But it's just that I don't see any of his friends who are like that! So yes, does he talk like an adult? Well, he likes to talk TO adults, because they can talk to him about what he's interested in.

He does have a bit of the sensory thing. He only wants to wear clothes made of very soft material. So it takes a great deal of persuasion to get him to wear jeans or chinos, if we're trying to look smart. In fact, he's only worn these when he's been in cold countries and I've told him that he just has to. He has a few favourite foods that he'll always want, but at school he'll eat whatever's there, because he has no choice. He's never liked crowds or loud noises, but he doesn't get to the point of 'meltdown' with them. He went through a stage last year of extreme fear of escalators, breaking into a sweaty panic when going on one. But somehow he's better now and voluntarily went up a huge ferris wheel a few months ago, to my surprise.

He likes to know in advance what we're doing and things always go more smoothly if we tell him the 'agenda' and we stick to it. But again, it's not complete meltdown if it isn't so, more like a big sulk if it's not what he wants to do ( but if he's warned in advance he's much more likely not to sulk).

I really don't know about eye contact - I don't think that he doesn't make eye contact, but I think an objective person would be better able to tell.

I guess my biggest concern for him, whether or not he is on the Aspergers spectrum or not, is for him to be able to make and keep some real friends, and to enjoy school! I hate to see him complaining about how it's boring.

Maybe, he sounds like my older son who was never tested and has done very well in school and small groups so we don't feel like he needs any extra help. Alex is 12 now and is taking the harder classes in middle school and has friends of all ages. In big groups Alex does fade a bit in to the back ground but so did I at that age. I'd just help him learn about the thing he loves at the moment and let him be himself .

My 13 yr old stepson has NVLD, my 8 yr old son is NT and lots of boys love Star Wars and Lego, I think Lego is my 8 yr old's favorite thing. It is more things like obsessing over something so they learn everything about it and it becomes the focus of their conversations. Conversations where they give you lots of information about something and the conversation is all one-side. My stepson has very restricted food tastes, he is here every other week, and I have to cook much blander, no tomato sauce in anything, no spices, no eggs. He stands very closes, talks very loud and his vocal intonation goes up and down. Walk past any Lego Store and you will see a ton of boys so that doesn't give an indication. I was in the Lego Store a week ago and a boy came up to me and started asking what Lego toys my 8 yr old son liked, so I said SWs and Castle, Mission to Mars, really everything Lego makes. And he replied, 'oh no, I ONLY like Lego City' then he started talking obsessively about Lego City toys and all the LC toys he had, what he still wanted and he just went on and on and I was thinking he maybe he was on the spectrum, he was also standing very close to me, to the point where it feels uncomfortable. He reminded me of my stepson, which is why I listened, my stepson does this thing where he gives tons of info and I have learned to just listen. I thought, a year ago I would never have thought maybe he's on the spectrum, I would have just thought him a bit peculiar. Like you, I suspected AS but when he was diagnosed they said NVLD which is very close to AS, almost the same thing but he didn't speak until he was 4 years old and that eliminates AS I think.

Just wanted to say, I saw the part where you said your son was scared of escalators. My stepson was extremely scared of them for years when he was younger according to my husband. Even now, he hesitates before going on one.

When I first was out with him at a mall, we would approach the escalator and I would always bump into him because he would be right ahead of me, then he would hesitate before the escalator and we would bump into each other. His dad would wave him ahead, telling him not to stop. He has cause me to collide with people behind me many times because of his fear of getting on the escalator. I mean I know now, and don't walk right behind him when we go on a escalator, but sometimes I forget.

His dad always says he thinks his mom scared him about elevators, I never thought perhaps it has to do with the autism.

Your son will make a marvelous engineer. Is there any way for him to get enriched classes or computer or robot camps? Can the teacher arrange for him to read whatever he wants when he finishes his assignments so he won't be so bored? There are learning kits with legos. etc

All those things like special interests and quirky-ness don't matter. Asperger's is a social disability. Is your child socially disabled? Can he carry on a conversation with a peer? Can he initiate social contact? Can he come up with interesting things to say out of thin air, or does he need to be prompted and questioned before he can speak?

It's also what they talk about. My stepson can come home with lots to say but it may about the 3 different ways via different freeways he can come home. And he'll go on and on about this. He doesn't drive yet, he's only 13, but he'll spend what seems like hours thinking about road directions.

When he watches movies or TV he only sees the objects, never even notices the human interactions.

In my opinion, there is enough info in your post that I would consider taking him in for a professional evaluation. Just the fact that your questioning his quirkiness tells me that you yourself think that there is something more going on with your child. You know him best.
Good luck. You sound like a great parent and he sounds like a lovely boy.

I've noticed that it can be extremely difficult for parents to truly accept that their child might have a 'problem'. But denial is never good, it will only hold a child back from getting the help he needs. Whenever a child is noticeably behind in any subject or any aspect of development, ignoring the problem won't make it go away. If a child is delayed, it means they are struggling and need help. They generally will never just catch up on their own. There is an underlying problem that caused the delay in the first place, and it needs to be addressed.

If a child never learns addition, and is placed in a class with a bunch of peers who are working on multiplication, he is not going to just one day 'get it'. And if a child never picked up on basic social interaction, his peers will continue to advance into more complex and enriching social games, and he will be left behind.

People with AS are not 'just' different, we are socially delayed. There are many effective teaching tools and strategies that will actually help kids with AS build up the social tools that they need to develop relationships, and be able to speak up for themselves.

Even the boredom potentially is because he is 'blind' to a lot of the social goings-on in his classroom, so to him it feels like nothing is happening all day.