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factotum666
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27 Nov 2011, 2:45 am

In my experience I have found that the following works quite well:

Name calling: The rhetorical technique used by people who have neither facts nor logic to support their position. And if they had either, they would probably not have the intellectual resources to use them. This usually shuts up the name callers. If it does not then I just assume that the person is thick --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGex0kLgNok. Why would anybody get upset because someone like this was calling them names???

So, do not worry about it. Get used to the fact that there are a lot of people out there in the shallow end of the gene pool who must resort to name calling.

Along those lines --- what does "drama queen" mean anyway.

So ... to the point. You are in a mental space with which you are not happy. Is it anything else other than people who must resort to name calling? Can you be specific? As specific as possible.

If it is only name calling, then I hope that this post fixes the problem. If it does not, then why do you think that is?


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NineTailedFox
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27 Nov 2011, 3:02 am

I don't like it when people name call a specific person, usually. But it's funny if it's Republicans.



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27 Nov 2011, 10:16 am

factotum666 wrote:
In my experience I have found that the following works quite well:

Name calling: The rhetorical technique used by people who have neither facts nor logic to support their position. And if they had either, they would probably not have the intellectual resources to use them. This usually shuts up the name callers. If it does not then I just assume that the person is thick --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGex0kLgNok. Why would anybody get upset because someone like this was calling them names???

So, do not worry about it. Get used to the fact that there are a lot of people out there in the shallow end of the gene pool who must resort to name calling.

Along those lines --- what does "drama queen" mean anyway.

So ... to the point. You are in a mental space with which you are not happy. Is it anything else other than people who must resort to name calling? Can you be specific? As specific as possible.

If it is only name calling, then I hope that this post fixes the problem. If it does not, then why do you think that is?


Well other then being stressed about having to drop out of college due to being stressed about other stuff because and because I cannot keep taking loans out.......and being stressed about having no idea how I will have any sort of income or what I will do after I drop out, and well there are all kinds of things I am not too happy about. then of course i have some bothersome symptoms of various mental disorders to deal with as well.

But other then that I guess I just have to try and ignore that stuff...I just don't want to expcet to because then I'll feel like I failed again the next time I react to someone insulting me.


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factotum666
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27 Nov 2011, 1:07 pm

College for me was a long tie ago. We still used stone tablets :-). I went to a state school, lived at home and worked. I muddled through, but I always knew what I wanted to do. --- Though, I never did it having, among other problems ADD...

Lets speak of todays world.

What do you like to do? Can you get non college training doing that? Can you take online classes? My guess is that they cost less.

I, and others, have posted elsewhere. Get physically active. Move your ass around hard enough to sweat for at least 45 min, at least three times a week. Join a club that goes hiking or does other stuff. Gym memberships can be had for $25.00 a month. Find a support group. Remember what I said about people who need to resort to name calling.

You mentioned various mental disorders. Well, that is why we are all here is it not? :-) Feel free to do a pm if you want to get into detail in a non public way. What kind of medical care is available to you? If you are in the states, and not insured that would be none unless you decide to shop for a religious institution,. Most leaders there are trained in basic people care. You would want to visit liberal institutions be they Unitarian (all are liberal) or Jewish or christian. You may be able find counseling there. You could offer some menial services in exchange. All they can do is say no, and that is unlikely. They are trained to help and enjoy itl Quakers are also good. Many of these are also ambivalent about the nature of god and/or its existence, so if you are not religious, that will not be a problem

As to failure. Well, you may wish to consider people who are nothing but successful and would not recognize a failure if it bit them in their private parts (Rumsfeld, Bush) or were very successful until they failed (Madhoff) Or for an archetypal story, read the poem of
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Coryrichard corey

I hope that this is of some help


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27 Nov 2011, 1:14 pm

factotum666 wrote:
College for me was a long tie ago. We still used stone tablets :-). I went to a state school, lived at home and worked. I muddled through, but I always knew what I wanted to do. --- Though, I never did it having, among other problems ADD...

Lets speak of todays world.

What do you like to do? Can you get non college training doing that? Can you take online classes? My guess is that they cost less.

I, and others, have posted elsewhere. Get physically active. Move your ass around hard enough to sweat for at least 45 min, at least three times a week. Join a club that goes hiking or does other stuff. Gym memberships can be had for $25.00 a month. Find a support group. Remember what I said about people who need to resort to name calling.

You mentioned various mental disorders. Well, that is why we are all here is it not? :-) Feel free to do a pm if you want to get into detail in a non public way. What kind of medical care is available to you? If you are in the states, and not insured that would be none unless you decide to shop for a religious institution,. Most leaders there are trained in basic people care. You would want to visit liberal institutions be they Unitarian (all are liberal) or Jewish or christian. You may be able find counseling there. You could offer some menial services in exchange. All they can do is say no, and that is unlikely. They are trained to help and enjoy itl Quakers are also good. Many of these are also ambivalent about the nature of god and/or its existence, so if you are not religious, that will not be a problem

As to failure. Well, you may wish to consider people who are nothing but successful and would not recognize a failure if it bit them in their private parts (Rumsfeld, Bush) or were very successful until they failed (Madhoff) Or for an archetypal story, read the poem of
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Coryrichard corey

I hope that this is of some help


I don't know how to pursue any of the things I enjoy...and I have to do quite a bit of walking because I don't drive, so I think I've got the physical activity down especially the past week I've been running around all over the place to the extent I am pretty exausted.

Support groups are good if they have a free one maybe.

And I don't think counseling really helps me, I've done it so many times already just to end up feeling like the therapist does not really understand me and is just pretending to. I think it will do me more good to try and see what I can do with the problems I have rather then focusing on trying to fix them because its probably too late for me to do that. But yeah I just have to make some sort of plan I guess.......I just can't seem to figure anything out.


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factotum666
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27 Nov 2011, 2:01 pm

Support groups are good if they have a free one maybe.
Some Jewish philosopher said ask and it shall be given, or something like that

And I don't think counseling really helps me, I've done it so many times already just to end up feeling like the therapist does not really understand me and is just pretending to.
Did you ask them about that? Could have been a great discussion. My take is that most therapists went into therapy because they were a tad bit looney themselves. That is why I recommended seeing religious people. They come from a very different place, and the ones that I suggested are not god squaders.

I think it will do me more good to try and see what I can do with the problems I have rather then focusing on trying to fix them because its probably too late for me to do that. But yeah I just have to make some sort of plan I guess.......I just can't seem to figure anything out.


Start with a list of what you like, and what you do not like.
Hopefully, one of your dislikes is NOT making lists. One of my dislikes is multiple negatives in a sentence.

There are two ways to order the lists. The ease with which the problem can be modified, or the like can be attained, and the importance. I would suggest starting with ease so that you can get a feeling of actually doing something / accomplishing something.

Are you in the US? If so, what city? or what large city is nearby. Your mention of lack of public transportation indicates that you are in the US, probably west of the Mississippi


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27 Nov 2011, 2:09 pm

factotum666 wrote:
Support groups are good if they have a free one maybe.
Some Jewish philosopher said ask and it shall be given, or something like that

And I don't think counseling really helps me, I've done it so many times already just to end up feeling like the therapist does not really understand me and is just pretending to.
Did you ask them about that? Could have been a great discussion. My take is that most therapists went into therapy because they were a tad bit looney themselves. That is why I recommended seeing religious people. They come from a very different place, and the ones that I suggested are not god squaders.

I think it will do me more good to try and see what I can do with the problems I have rather then focusing on trying to fix them because its probably too late for me to do that. But yeah I just have to make some sort of plan I guess.......I just can't seem to figure anything out.


Start with a list of what you like, and what you do not like.
Hopefully, one of your dislikes is NOT making lists. One of my dislikes is multiple negatives in a sentence.

There are two ways to order the lists. The ease with which the problem can be modified, or the like can be attained, and the importance. I would suggest starting with ease so that you can get a feeling of actually doing something / accomplishing something.

Are you in the US? If so, what city? or what large city is nearby. Your mention of lack of public transportation indicates that you are in the US, probably west of the Mississippi


I live in the U.S in Colorado near Denver........and there is public transportation but it could certainly be better, usually gets me were I need to go though.


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factotum666
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27 Nov 2011, 2:53 pm

I was raised in Denver, from 1 year to about 30 or so. Now in Vegas. They have a unitarian and Quaker churches there, and some liberal Jewish establishments. (My first sexual partner was married, and I sent her to a temple for counseling --- she was not Jewish --- just an interesting story).

Anyway, on the assumption that neither the Quakers nor Unitarians have changed much over the years, visit them. The down side is very limited, with a large upside. I believe that you will find them warm and welcoming. Also, Devner is a good place for Bicycling. Do you jave a bike? They are very inexpensive used. Simple ones are easy to fix and maintain. I did not actually get a car until I had a job in my 20's I believe.

I knew someone who was a lawyer, and did not own a car. Used public transportation.

and work on those lists :-)
and feel free to pm me :-)


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27 Nov 2011, 3:20 pm

Dox47 wrote:
Why feel like crap? Me, JV, etc are just random people on the net, less important to your personally than strangers on the street. Why give us such importance that we can control your moods and outlook?

Also, why would you think your thread is a waste of my time? I obviously didn't think it was, or I wouldn't have clicked on it, taken a look, and posted to it. I did take me away from binge playing Skyrim, but I'll get over that.


You seem to have the false impression that one can easily shrug things off. What's true for you may not be true for others. Some people have emotional triggers from the way people have treated them in the past. Blaming someone for being oversensitive when it's not truly a choice to feel that way only adds insult to injury. Also, you are able to take medications for your mental issues. She seems to have more obstacles to getting treatment than you or I do.

I've stopped engaging in debates here myself because there's not really anything to benefit from it. The majority of people are hardened in their views and don't acknowledge reason anyways. Not to mention the most contentious arguments break down to conflicts over subjective values and ideals. I see no point in beating a dead horse. Internet debate doesn't broaden minds for the most part. It just closes people more as they are exposed to the most extreme elements of contrary ideologies. I think Sweatleaf would be better off expressing her views with people more inclined to agree with her. At best this subforum is just unhealthy for her.



factotum666
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27 Nov 2011, 5:15 pm

"I've stopped engaging in debates here myself because there's not really anything to benefit from it. The majority of people are hardened in their views and don't acknowledge reason anyways. Not to mention the most contentious arguments break down to conflicts over subjective values and ideals. "

I am actually writing a paper on this. At this point the working title is something along the lines of nature makes us st00pid, where the spelling is used to connote a word that implies, not only the inability to learn something, but the refusal to do so. Here is one data point that I will use from Max Planck of Plancks Constant:

A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it


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27 Nov 2011, 5:18 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Ok so I don't feel I deserve to be personally attacked for my opinions, and I don't really call people here idiots, stupid ect. if they disagree with me.........so why do so many in this forum think its ok to personally insult me.

thought this was against the rules, or is it ok as long as its me you're trying to make fun of?


Personal insults are wrong and they are against the rules here. No, it's not okay for any individual to be mocked or ridiculed. I've dealt with enough of that crap and it shouldn't be allowed to continue for me or anyone else.



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27 Nov 2011, 6:06 pm

iamnotaparakeet wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Ok so I don't feel I deserve to be personally attacked for my opinions, and I don't really call people here idiots, stupid ect. if they disagree with me.........so why do so many in this forum think its ok to personally insult me.

thought this was against the rules, or is it ok as long as its me you're trying to make fun of?


Personal insults are wrong and they are against the rules here. No, it's not okay for any individual to be mocked or ridiculed. I've dealt with enough of that crap and it shouldn't be allowed to continue for me or anyone else.


Well I think direct name calling is usually frowned upon here but there are a lot of "lesser offenses" that bother some and not others. Things like psychoanalyzing a person's political beliefs in a way that insinuates against their character, making ridiculous and insulting straw man, or calling an argument "dumb","idiotic", or some equivalent, even without necessarily attacking a person directly. Probably 95% of participants in this forum have used these "tactics" at one time or another. A lot of it does prod people into getting more and more testy or makes others feel insulted. I don't want to be turned into a monster so I gave up debating here. I really don't see where the line should be drawn so nobody gets insulted. It would be nice if people could at least decide not to use such provocative rhetoric against people who don't engage in it themselves.



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27 Nov 2011, 6:22 pm

Sweetleaf, sometimes you do see insults where none are meant (the first response to the OP, for example). You might just try asking, 'do you mean that as an insult?' and you'll probably get a lot more 'No's than you expected. Around here, people aren't likely to lie about whether or not they meant to insult you.
(for the record: this is not an insult; I thought you seemed to be looking for help, so I am trying to help).



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27 Nov 2011, 7:41 pm

marshall wrote:
iamnotaparakeet wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Ok so I don't feel I deserve to be personally attacked for my opinions, and I don't really call people here idiots, stupid ect. if they disagree with me.........so why do so many in this forum think its ok to personally insult me.

thought this was against the rules, or is it ok as long as its me you're trying to make fun of?


Personal insults are wrong and they are against the rules here. No, it's not okay for any individual to be mocked or ridiculed. I've dealt with enough of that crap and it shouldn't be allowed to continue for me or anyone else.


Well I think direct name calling is usually frowned upon here but there are a lot of "lesser offenses" that bother some and not others. Things like psychoanalyzing a person's political beliefs in a way that insinuates against their character, making ridiculous and insulting straw man, or calling an argument "dumb","idiotic", or some equivalent, even without necessarily attacking a person directly. Probably 95% of participants in this forum have used these "tactics" at one time or another. A lot of it does prod people into getting more and more testy or makes others feel insulted. I don't want to be turned into a monster so I gave up debating here. I really don't see where the line should be drawn so nobody gets insulted. It would be nice if people could at least decide not to use such provocative rhetoric against people who don't engage in it themselves.


It's probably impossible not to offend everyone, but I think the general rule regarding perceived insults given and received is whether the person providing the insult intended to provide an insult. Sometimes it is extremely clear that insults were intended to be conveyed whereas at other times the situation of communication has the possibility of ambiguity. However, it is highly likely that some are more than willing to provide insults in an insinuative manner so as to be able to claim a false innocence when confronted, but just as likely is the case of people being accused of doing such when they had never intended any such thing whatsoever.

For all of the hassling provided me by people whose hearts are set upon being my enemies, I'm not going to be dissuaded from arguing here or anyone else though. It may be noble of you to try to give up debating here because it's not good for you emotionally, but I think for me with all of the death and loss I have experienced throughout my life that I'm stronger emotionally than those who would seek to behave rudely for their own sadistic amusement at my expense and as such I'm not going to go away from here. People often seem to prefer to imagine me as mad at their words, at least once or twice as their stated goal for some even, but that happens only ever so rarely really. I'm not going to give up here, I'm not going to surrender or retreat. This is my battlefield as much as it is theirs.



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27 Nov 2011, 9:54 pm

I guess I just don't see what there's to accomplish in seeing it as a battlefield. Clearly some people enjoy arguing. Some see politics as something to bring up only for the lulz. Yet some people are personally affected too much to see the humor. You don't "win" anything by pissing someone off or making them want to leave the forum. You don't "lose" when something someone else says angers or upsets you. I don't see the point anymore. There are some views I will never see eye-to-eye with and I'd conclude it has a lot to do with a clash of personal temperament/disposition. That's just how it is.



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27 Nov 2011, 11:47 pm

marshall wrote:
I guess I just don't see what there's to accomplish in seeing it as a battlefield. Clearly some people enjoy arguing. Some see politics as something to bring up only for the lulz. Yet some people are personally affected too much to see the humor. You don't "win" anything by pissing someone off or making them want to leave the forum. You don't "lose" when something someone else says angers or upsets you. I don't see the point anymore. There are some views I will never see eye-to-eye with and I'd conclude it has a lot to do with a clash of personal temperament/disposition. That's just how it is.


The "Battlefield" is just my attempt to make a statement metaphorically along with the "never retreat or surrender" bit, but anyway even though I'm argumentative I prefer conversations that actually have a point more than mere argumentation for its own sake. Politics are rather boring after a while since it sounds the same from every side after hearing the rhetoric enough. Yes, I know that there's nothing won when people do a rage quit, although if they are stalkers who are harassing me intentionally I can't claim that I'd be able to miss them much if they do go away finally. Personally I see the failure in much of argumentation as related to this: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) that as people grow older they become more and more set in whatever ways they are trained to go. Yes, I know that some people radically depart from the beliefs that their parents try to teach them, but who is really teaching them in those situations? The parents? The school systems? Television? ETC. Many people, rightfully, question what they have been taught to believe and accept as truth, but to an extent even that is attempted to be guided if you have ever noticed leading questions in college textbooks and ubiquitous non-intellectual rhetoric also. But anyhow, if any reason exists for considering such a PPR to actually be a battleground it would be that it could be consider a war between different schools of indoctrination. As such, each fervently believes whatever they say to be absolute truth and anyone in contradiction to that must, in their perception, be less intelligent or somehow evil for their disagreement. And no, I do not believe that to be right: truth should be sought after and not merely assumed and then bludgeoned about like a barbaric cudgel. As for my point in the last reply though, I basically meant that I'm not going to let myself be intimidated by the mockery; I'm here to stay whether people who want to be my enemies like it or not.